I hate this lifetime
she says
With all the instructions
and all the conditions?
Why?
How could you hate such fortune?
Because all the people
I have ever known,
ever loved
in all my lives
have forgotten me
Not only
do they not remember
our love, shared, our words
our bonds …
they are all sick, wounded, dying
this vision becomes a nightmare
threatens lives I care about
makes me hate my own
and then I see
I am the maker and destroyer
but never more a life-enjoyer
— at least not this life anyway
this one with pain that’s here to stay
because that is samsara’s way
first it gives and then it takes
breath, floods, fires, earthquakes,
fortune, time, fame, mistakes, and
breath
It all comes rushing in and then
it goes
Absent is the gentle flow,
of another life
one in which I failed
one where I succumbed to strife
for otherwise this appearance
wouldn’t be
(couldn’t be)
So which delusion can I blame
for producing this life, this name
I happily give up for happiness
a wisdom realizing emptiness
I’m tired of grief’s game
set me free!
While with wisdom, I reflect,
I find… I hate this lifetime
all the same
but despite its constant pain
not a moment spent in vain
I will escape
The Halfwit Writer 