Hopeless romantic, no more

I was born with the heart of a romantic man
with the desire to pursue and perform
grand gestures or small acts
of love and kindness to win the affections of –

Oh, what’s this? I’m a lady in this life?
I am to wait? To not chase?
This is the greatest embarrassment
I’ve experienced in aeons!
to hold such a deceitfully lazy state
while exerting unknown effort
to remain controlled, poised
having the upperhand for centuries
yet now all our merit’s been destroyed
so that there is sex in the streets
lying and cheating in the sheets
and when times get really tough
we’ll kill our children for our meat
having never been able to give anything up

Beginningless self-cherishing
    still has me surprised
to find myself in another woman’s life
wearing her clothes and feeling her strife
seeing her strange face in the mirror
now seeking to become a wife
         (feeling of nausea arises)

just recently they called me Thomas
and although too sick to be romantic
I was similarly an outcast, an observer similarly mad, in familiarity an author
and before that, still disgusted by people
by this unchanged society
             that still shuns its abused
destroying the very future causes
to enjoy the same luxuries used
is it not painful to watch?
        and to deny the the perverse pleasure
                of witness over participation

So to practice the patience of tamping desire
is not a new practice in the context of aeons
but when looking at the previous few
the disdain and the loneliness the same
but now in a waiting woman’s shoe!
I should raise my nose and sneeze
but instead accept the snotty second rate fate
I am grateful to have bestowed upon me
the perfect conditions to escape
      the subversion of sexes simply exposes
that we’ll take lower rebirth alike
experiencing the same obstacles to omniscience
and trading wisdom for
temporary satisfaction of attachment – pain!
get me out samsara’s door!
Now!

I sacrifice the yearning for a stoic man’s life
and work to accept a woman’s loving fight
for never is it over, and she does not give up
with Avalokiteshvara’s compassion and Tara’s speed
I’m rescued in my time of need
while ever enjoying endless good luck