Categories
Poetry

Edge of Tomorrow

I know you

Do you know me?

I cannot help but note the tragedy

of new lives lived with no memory

of old lives discarded though they’re

the very foundation of the new!

— no memory

you have of me

or I’d have seen

some bloody action by now —

or maybe you’re tied down —

she’s got you on the tracks

while I’m off the beaten path

and I’m calling out loud

— but you can’t hear me

you don’t know me

you can’t see me

you’ve forgotten —

I had too

but now I’ve seen —

no. I felt the tug,

a heart string plucked

and yearned anew

for only you

as if I’d done this many times before

a feeling I could not ignore

familiar and odd — uncanny

when you looked at me

with no knowledge of

the touches I gave long ago

time erases and time has passed

ages since we danced in the afterglow

— now no memory,

though time did slow

when you looked at me

and my heart beat so rhymically

as if we’d done this all before

— and yet, no more

as you walked away

I longed to say

what I’m looking for —

Enlightenment, and is it at your door?

I wish to be rich and it’s such

delusions that keep me poor

tempt me tease me all you want

— or do not —

I still remember you

do let me know if I can stir

a memory —

do you know me?

Categories
Poetry

Delayed Gratification

I have promised patience
in exchange for a kingdom of happiness

I have promised patience
in exchange for an appearance of love

I have promised patience
in exchange for unattached enjoyments

I have promised patience
for you, so we can complete the path together

So I wait, like a princess in her tower
with patience, my Buddha nature I empower

I promised patience, and I wait for you
with faith unwavering, my heart is true.

Categories
Buddhism Poetry

The Wink

Why do you torture me?

Does your eye boast truth
or do mine bear fiction?
I write lies to soothe me to sleep
a samsaric slumber steeped in tales of attachment,
happiness served on a silver platter
just a taste and, absent of addiction,
I’ll be satisfied — just your touch
and I’ll not want more — a lie
like salt water quenching thirst —
only thirstier I grow for
— just your tongue lending sweet
nothings to an indiscriminate ear
incorrectly discriminating — just your
taste to tease unintentional senses
dependent upon such sour
senseless ignorance dependent upon
countless causes, rebirths, misunderstood
and non-existent selfs — but maybe still,
it’s just your self that will satisfy this self
& somehow, still, we will escape samsara
— a lie of attachment, a joke, a wink

Is that what you mean to give,
when you torture me?

Categories
Poetry

Lost

I lost your number
a long time ago
— right away

after the lock broke
it was clear
I couldn’t be trusted

how things have changed
and mistaken memory
makes you
bigger, then smaller than
you were, are

who are you now?
I wonder

I lost my privilege
to know

the you
grown in moments
now passed

Categories
Buddhism Poetry

Constant Craving

I want to be
someone who loves you

with no demands
with no expectations
with no history of delusion

I want to be
the pure love always within you

yet still,
I cherish only myself

I want you to see me
I want you to love me

because of this
damned self-grasping

And then I laugh remembering
we is just a dream

Categories
Buddhism Philosophy Poetry

Consistently Mistaken

I thought when I received, I would be grateful.

I wasn’t.

I thought to be pursued would be fun, a real romp.

It wasn’t.

I thought to be beheld as beautiful could give me confidence, know my beauty.

It didn’t.

I thought to be loved to could open my heart, make me love.

It couldn’t.

I thought when tested, I would pass.

I didn’t.


“We will only engage in pure spiritual practice if we have definitely understood that we have a precious human life and we have to use it now. We can die today. It’s possible.”

Gen-la Kunsang, Kadampa Podcast

Categories
Buddhism Meditation Poetry

cramped in the tub

I am in the tub

I am dissatisfied
this tub has taken me nowhere
I’ve been round this way before

it ended with suffering

slit wrists in the clawfoot
or just the bath water ran cold

It ended with suffering
and I wanted escape

from the tub

*

I can’t out-damn-spot my misery

I can’t wash away the pain

purification doesn’t exactly work that way —
unless we carefully imagine it does (in four steps)

but who has the mindfulness for that?

not I, as I search for meaning in this worthless pleasure

careful not to throw out the baby with the bath water

I transform this all-too-addictive
suffering through wisdom, and will
tuck this teaching

into the continuum as I tuck myself
into bed

careful not to slip as I stand and step

out of the tub

Categories
Buddhism Poetry

Self Cherished

I am an ocean of wanting
I am discontent

How dissatisfied I feel
with samsara’s gifts

Prison-barred burdens’
more like it!

Now, I have the instructions
for escape

Yet I cling, I grasp
at less than straws

Mere suffering ensnares
it claws

I should let go, I think
I know

And still,
I let my desire grow

Categories
Poetry Thirsty Thursday

Thirsty Thursday | How love was the end of the Pillsbury Doughboy

(His last words)


I feel gooey inside
I mean more than usual
I think my insides are melting

something warm is happening in my heart
it’s making a bubble 
something’s about to pop

this really doesn’t feel quite right
I think I’m rising from the inside out
the heat supposed to be external

but this is gutting me
tearing me apart

hot bit by bit expanding

and do you see this bulge here?
no! not my stomach!

hoo-hoo!! 

don’t poke me at a time like this —
can’t you see I’m in pain?

oh! dire pain!

being wrenched apart
baked wrong side out

surely this isn’t in the directions —
can we trouble shoot?

something’s happening to my throat
the words aren’t 
                coming out good
no more
ooey gooey heart 
hoo-hooo


Okay… so this isn’t the thirstiest. x.x but can you picture that it probably isn’t Mrs. Poppie Fresh Pillsbury Doughboy doing it for him. ๐Ÿ˜‰

You might not need a tall glass of water, but perhaps a cold glass of milk and a hot, soft chocolate chip cookie would satisfy you.

Categories
Poetry

Summer Affair

Not fair!

I said I wouldn’t become
attached to you,
changing condition

yet, so much sorrow
fills minds that grasp
at the losing

a mistaken conception:
yes, it is the summer
that offers me joy

so easy to believe
when winter brings
us pain – in joints,
in frostbitten fingers
in the minds of
jealousy when our friends
flee to now-appreciated
tropical timeshares — now

no more summertime
to share

one dream ends
while we’re trapped
in another

romantic autumn’s
place will come, when
this dull and tiresome
sadness becomes boring
to my fitful, grasping mind

but now, I see only
a broken promise to myself
I wouldn’t become attached
I said

I must have failed
why else would I lay
blame with the season’s change
for my woe