The space between 1 and 2 is the
same infinite quality as between 2 and 3
Not the same space
different aspects
Yes the same nature
infinite
∞
The space between 1 and 2 is the
same infinite quality as between 2 and 3
Not the same space
different aspects
Yes the same nature
infinite
∞
Are we artists all the same?
we, the multi-disciplined
divining a spiritual path
questioning unquestioned reform
Novelist, short story author, essayist, poet, painter
We have a list beside our names
objectifying our existence
and grounding us a permanent fixture
While we strive for freedom
against false gravity
the weight of awards and titles
the pain the being misunderstood
consistently
The artist is but a reflection of the mind
the life a play, a temporary gimmick
a genius’ work is rarely critiqued
by a mind of equal stature
The spiritual path appears to isolate
and still we cannot help but wonder
when others will understand
that it was worth it in the end
Can I tempt?
Can I tease?
Can I bring you to your knees?
I never knew I had a power
then I heard the beggar plead
He needed more, he begged to give
He needed more of me to live
I did laugh
I did cry
and to his horror, I denied
I never knew I had a power
then I saw the beggar die
I needed more, I begged to give
I needed more of them to live
I did tempt
I did tease
and I tried my best to please
I disbelieved I had a power
And so delusion ruled with ease
I faded in, I faded out,
I turned to faith from foolish doubt
I did laugh
I did cry
in compassion I now abide
I believe I have a power
and with love I purify
I know you
Do you know me?
I cannot help but note the tragedy
of new lives lived with no memory
of old lives discarded though they’re
the very foundation of the new!
— no memory
you have of me
or I’d have seen
some bloody action by now —
or maybe you’re tied down —
she’s got you on the tracks
while I’m off the beaten path
and I’m calling out loud
— but you can’t hear me
you don’t know me
you can’t see me
you’ve forgotten —
I had too
but now I’ve seen —
no. I felt the tug,
a heart string plucked
and yearned anew
for only you
as if I’d done this many times before
a feeling I could not ignore
familiar and odd — uncanny
when you looked at me
with no knowledge of
the touches I gave long ago
time erases and time has passed
ages since we danced in the afterglow
— now no memory,
though time did slow
when you looked at me
and my heart beat so rhymically
as if we’d done this all before
— and yet, no more
as you walked away
I longed to say
what I’m looking for —
Enlightenment, and is it at your door?
I wish to be rich and it’s such
delusions that keep me poor
tempt me tease me all you want
— or do not —
I still remember you
do let me know if I can stir
a memory —
do you know me?
I have promised patience
in exchange for a kingdom of happiness
I have promised patience
in exchange for an appearance of love
I have promised patience
in exchange for unattached enjoyments
I have promised patience
for you, so we can complete the path together
So I wait, like a princess in her tower
with patience, my Buddha nature I empower
I promised patience, and I wait for you
with faith unwavering, my heart is true.
Why do you torture me?
Does your eye boast truth
or do mine bear fiction?
I write lies to soothe me to sleep
a samsaric slumber steeped in tales of attachment,
happiness served on a silver platter
just a taste and, absent of addiction,
I’ll be satisfied — just your touch
and I’ll not want more — a lie
like salt water quenching thirst —
only thirstier I grow for
— just your tongue lending sweet
nothings to an indiscriminate ear
incorrectly discriminating — just your
taste to tease unintentional senses
dependent upon such sour
senseless ignorance dependent upon
countless causes, rebirths, misunderstood
and non-existent selfs — but maybe still,
it’s just your self that will satisfy this self
& somehow, still, we will escape samsara
— a lie of attachment, a joke, a wink
Is that what you mean to give,
when you torture me?
I lost your number
a long time ago
— right away
after the lock broke
it was clear
I couldn’t be trusted
how things have changed
and mistaken memory
makes you
bigger, then smaller than
you were, are
who are you now?
I wonder
I lost my privilege
to know
the you
grown in moments
now passed
I want to be
someone who loves you
with no demands
with no expectations
with no history of delusion
I want to be
the pure love always within you
yet still,
I cherish only myself
I want you to see me
I want you to love me
because of this
damned self-grasping
And then I laugh remembering
we is just a dream
To my Ex,
Thank you.
You have given me much I will cherish for years to come. Nothing I can keep in a box under my bed. No pictures to burn. Gifts far greater – ones I will carry with me life to life, like my pure love for you.
Patience.
Before I met you, it was rare to walk slowly through nature, and never would I think to name its parts. Waiting was a great torment. Sitting silent was near impossible. Then, you mixed your patient mind with mine.
Faith.
You challenged my beliefs constantly. A torture at the time, but such a gift to progress. This obstacle appeared to destroy our relationship, but served as a test I passed time and again. You helped me try each teaching until I had conviction in each one. I valued them more than temporary relationships. I would keep them at the cost of my life.
Love.
Though we did not know unconditional, we strove. I accepted love from you. And I found my happiness only in giving. For we can never take love for ourself from another. That will never cease suffering. Loving you has helped cease suffering. Loving all beings (even spiders) creates my happiness.
It is only in reflection that I can begin to understand that I was absolutely blessed by the Buddhas that my path be made meaningful and my travel swift. Thank you to Buddha, who appears as friend, family and foe to guide us from our misery.
If we can remember to apply the primary practice.
Thank you.
Love,
your Ex
I am in the tub
I am dissatisfied
this tub has taken me nowhere
I’ve been round this way before
it ended with suffering
slit wrists in the clawfoot
or just the bath water ran cold
It ended with suffering
and I wanted escape
from the tub
*
I can’t out-damn-spot my misery
I can’t wash away the pain
purification doesn’t exactly work that way —
unless we carefully imagine it does (in four steps)
but who has the mindfulness for that?
not I, as I search for meaning in this worthless pleasure
careful not to throw out the baby with the bath water
I transform this all-too-addictive
suffering through wisdom, and will
tuck this teaching
into the continuum as I tuck myself
into bed
careful not to slip as I stand and step
out of the tub