we are slaves to the robots
to the AI
and the algorithms
You’ll like it
We promise
false flags and invisible borders
keep us safe
while debt keeps us slave
and buy me don’t why me
cancels out the mind of disagreement
You’re content, consented already
Your enslavement hasn’t just begun
You opted in a while ago
Didn’t you read the terms?
we are slaves to the robots
who owns them?
[The Letter Your Ex is Never Going to Send]
Though recently I cursed your name
Your scent, your breath, a stink, a stain
Your touch, your feel, a pin, a prick
Yet in my mind, you stay, you stick
You’re fastened here, you linger near
As if you’re tacked, taped, adhered
Permanently welded there inside my head
Yet rarely now I wish you harm or dead
You simply appear as though invited for tea
It just happens quite naturally
And then I think…I want to come home
No matter that I’d longed to roam
I’d yearned to uproot myself to find
A freedom I could never buy
I’d have to fight and from that I’d shied
For my courage has not your span, nor stride
When I was lost, I saw your face
It ‘peared before my resting place
Before I netflixed, before I chilled
I’d see you there, and my heart stilled
But you’d dissolve with phantom grace
Leaving me grasping at empty space
Thinking, lingering nostalgic syndrome
Please, my love, can I come home?
I wish I did well on my own
When lonesome time and tears have shown
I simply do not enjoy hollow life
Knowing I gave up love, compassion, kindness, a wife
Someone, I thought, is all I need
To walk the forest trails with me
Perhaps keep me warm on winter’s night
Whom I can pleasure and give delight
Now the nights are long and cold
And though I’m young, I’m feeling old
I’m feeling lost, can I come home?
I don’t like life in monochrome
I miss your colour, I miss your zest
You weren’t unstable, you’re simply best
To think I’d thought you like the rest
To think I’d sabotaged your jest
Now when life is cold and grey
Like on this rainy winter’s day
My mind takes me for that trip
That makes me miss your leadership
I know I should seek happiness and peace
Plan my life, find new love, sign the lease
Still though I dream of travel, Paris, Rome
Mostly, I wish I could come home
Love,
A Dumb Fuck
To My Muse,
A figment of my diabolical imagination. Silly lustful yearning, for you, a character from a fantasy novel I have written. You’re just the right amount of work, and we are ever unwittingly competitive. Keeps things exciting for an airy mind. Don’t you agree?
Of course, every dialogue we’ve held, every discourse exchanged has been in my mind. I try to throw you into my material world, but you don’t hold fast. I watch you release yourself time and again. So I have become addicted to the yearning for you, my muse, more than friend, almost lover, pedestalled perfection. Unconquerable, you stole my heart.
You are no strawman, and I cannot set you alight. You burn with your own passion and you spark something within me. I press on, inspired by my muse, yearning to show you what you’ve never before seen in this lifetime.
In quiet moments, when we can visit, I set us in the most unromantic places, so that a stolen glance is worth more than gold and the brush of an arm is too much. That touch, a subtle message for skin, instructs to flush. Grasping at flesh beneath clothes is knotty and taking too long. I worry the forbidden entanglement be discovered.
Out of this reverie, I am bound to chair and desk only by my own resolve to commit a fictitious tale to tablet, entertaining who it may. Spurred on like my muse’s mare, pressed with gentle kicks, cropped with supple whip, and treated with ultimate kindness though used at his whim.
My heart stolen, when you pressed yourself upon my chest. Your bosom lay where no man’s did, and so you have taken it, locked it away, like chastity, rare and precious.
I feel as though I watch you from behind a thick tapestry. Perhaps one revealing the fairytale of us, the almost ever afters, spiraling toward oblivion, time immaterial.
I whisper, I’m going to make one of those shifty eye paintings, and you shall be my star.
You lean over me once more, whispering your muse-like song:
I shall take your mind to moorelands far away. I shall dance you through the night and day. Joy and fun and boundless love and romance between us, this is where I long to stay.
And then, once more, you fade away.
My muse has gone away.
Just for now,
Adieu
Lavender Blue:
A Poem in 30 Songs
Runtime: 1hr 41min
this one’s
for that
Time of the Season
when I get sad, a
Season Suite: Late Winter, Early Spring
singing I’m
Lavender Blue (Dilly Dilly)
sometimes feeling silly (silly)
You Are My Sunshine
at the time of year when sunshine is rare
I hum
Kiss the Girl – From “The Little Mermaid”
and
A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving
drinking
Scotch and Soda
watching the
Early Morning Rain
it never gets that cold ‘round here
just so very (very) grey
I met a
Wayfaring Stranger
on a
Saturday Night at the Movies
before saying
Adieu
he asked
Is That All There Is?
I still see the
Colours
of his
Morning Nightcap
hear his morning
Bird Song
smell
The Wild Mountain Thyme
outside his door
feel the
Boots of Spanish Leather
a gift, before the dance
The Lovers’ Waltz Duet
and
8 Humoresques, Opus 101
[whispering in a foreign tongue]
Poco lento e grazioso
now, I see
The Gathering of Spirits
when I go
Down to the River to Pray
hearing
Tennessee Waltz
in my mind, asking
Where Have All the Average People Gone?
where has he gone?
though I
Keep on the Sunny Side
I think
I’ll Fly Away
Across the Great Divide
to find
The Yellow Rose of Texas
I Love
Anyone Who Knows What Love Is
and still
No Other Love
will do
Take a Gamble:
A Poem in 21 Songs
Runtime: 1hr 18min
Lucky Day
let’s play
I took you for
The Gambler
if you can
Jump into the Fire
we’ll pretend
Ain’t it funny
in my
Impossible Dream
I’ll be asking
How D’ya Like Your Eggs in the Morning?
and you sing your reply
Yes, We have no Bananas
All Your Yeahs
with
Burning Love
inspire
Enlightenment
but
The Truth
is
You Can’t Always Get What You Want
un
Lucky
why not
Pawn it All
instead?
you’re still gamblin’
Lucky You
I bet.
Poem by K. Samways, written in 2020 as part of the (currently) unpublished collection, A Very Slow Awakening
Read time: 10 minutes
I
It’s easy to think of yourself as
Fearless
until you meet someone who’s
dared to do
what you believe
you cannot.
How do you free yourself of
this doubt?
This delusion?
This ignorant confusion?
of reality
created
by mind
my mind
mirror mind
giving you thoughts
Hope you like them!
I pass them along ethereal waves
insubstantial
or did
you catch
the breath
I breathed
on
your neck
I ran a finger down
your spine
but it
was without
permission
So I did not
allow you
privy
access
to this
personal
conquering
of my fears
Reality resists
and so
flow
slows
Because my mind
still finds
it difficult
to manage
this fearlessness
with doubt
A teeter-totter
I played on
as a child
yearned to outgrow
yearned to know
yet they
stripped
the playground
bare of these
along with
the merry-go-round
we’d spin with ease
running as hard as we could
in sick circular motion
until it spun so fast
and pulled us to our knees
four Band-aids to stop the bleed
too expensive to remain
on school ground lot
now kids can’t play
not because the bandages cost too much
But because at some point
the PTA understood
that they could be
sued for their
kids will be kids
attitude
Reality created anew
from the mind of these
fearful few
That turned money into
an object to be held
cemented it as some
kind of tangible
symbol
so we believe
the cash
is as real as
the gun
held to head
of one soon dead
so one can eat
although another
meet his
end
The money, raw symbol,
as real as the guts
now
splattered on the wall
Where are my guts?
I tried to spill them
but the metaphor
falls flat
because I can’t hold
them in my hands
and share
them
with you
and besides
I’m feeling gutless all of a sudden
II
So,
I’ve got this story for you
About this daydream
I am constantly
(I don’t mean constantly
but you know)
having
and let me tell you!
I am so chill.
I mean, calm, cool and collected.
We’re standing together.
(Seriously, it’s just a daydream
not a fantasy)
We’ve got some serious eye contact going on
you know the type I mean
I’m looking at you
you’re looking at me
and though it’s just
our eyes we see
we’ve gone a bit deeper
a couple layers in
at least
it seems
I see a bit more
when you see me
–kind of erotic, right?
Okay, well, not for everyone.
So, I’ve got this gift
this present
this moment
with
you
and I’m trying to space it out
not really sure if you are too
(even though it’s a daydream
heck, got to make it as real
as possible, really secure
those doubts and fears)
My thoughts
Maybe I’ll play
the mirror
game – make
a face
and see
if he
does the
same
So I smile at you
and why
am I surprised
you smile back
and
I melt inside
It’s a mushy melt
I’ve yearned for
Not the sensual touch
of skin on skin
but soulful union
of long lost kin
a soul lost from
another life
and from my
teacher’s mouth
came this advice:
How would you heal the connection from a dream?
(Most of the advice comes in the form of a question
go figure)
So I think
with more doubt yet
Maybe I shouldn’t wish
for this
selfish yearning
for devotion
from another
being, though
I’m simply longing
for the very
ordinary human
wish to use this form
as an outlet, a plug
to connect two souls
not really separate
yet still
two mental
continuum
And when I put it that way
it still feels divine
So I think act natural
change and maintain
your aspiration
lead it into action
not battle
nope. no war here.
more like riding a raft down the river
with a staff
your
guide
(that stick isn’t going to help you upriver against this current)
This river is leading me to
one place
enlightened
with
scent of mint
no doubt of that
otherwise
I’d be stuck
on this
fucking raft
forever.
I guess then
the appearance of
choice is
distilled to
two
be afraid
or
be fearless
Oh,
right,
so,
I was telling you this story
about this daydream
I’m having
(no not right now – well, yes technically
it’s in my mind)
where we’re looking
into
one another’s
eyes
blah blah blah
I just want to
touch you
because I feel
you empathize
with me
a lot
(and many others too..
that’s what’s so cool about you)
And because
I took a quiz
and one of my
love languages
is physical touch
thus I need it
so much
and need
is a word
I feel
I need
to eradicate
from my
vocabulary
along with
should
Here’s the
vision’s catch
If I touch you,
It ends. It’s over.
All I have in
dreams
awake and sleeping
is this
silly crazy
yearning and
at best heavy eye contact
and once in a while
words
that say
I love you
back
I can’t help question
(my own advice, I guess)
Why is that?
III
Circling back to
aspiration
I feel the
need to
acrostic
this
bitch
Ask me
Search me
Preach to me!
I have looked for Harmony, Usually a
Rival, Discerning
And certainly not dumb
Though I see an unfinished symphony
I wish for completion, To become
One,
Nurturing
I am naive yet not the fool
trust
blind
faith
educated
tested
with
proven
lived
experience
I’ve felt courage
but how will
I recognize
a type of
fearlessness
I’ve never felt before
The answer could
be distilled to two
once more
Trust that it will work out
despite not knowing
or
Trust that you will recognize
the unexpected
when it happens
When I get truly
caught up
in rhythms, movements
emotions
blown up
earthly materials
wind water air
especially earth
so weighty here
gravity
pulls
me
down
and my resistance
is sideways steps
at least they are not
moving
backward.
Oops.
That happens sometimes
too
Defying gravity
feels like
a bad girl’s thing
and
I’ve been
disciplined
previously
enjoyed not
then
enjoyed not
now
so fearlessness
is called
upon somehow
to defy
in spite
of anxiety
worry
fear
It comes
as wisdom
comes as
grace
comes as
smile
on a happy
face
Comes in feeling
within
without
Positive
now
without
doubt
I’ve meditated
hours
in
present tense
so that
future
is now and
I wait
less
Patience a
virtue
I definitely have
put to test
again and again and again and again and again and again
and again and again and if this is trying you
in the slightest you can bear…well, probably a lot
apparently we all can
as long as
the mind
believes
we can
it can
—
can you do the can can?
Distraction
of earth mode on, man.
Circling back, again and again and again and again
and again and again and again and (that’s where we left off)
No one ever said
fearlessness
didn’t manifest
as the human quality
(note not disorder)
A.D.H.D.
What I’m trying to say
is that
this courage
is built
on a
foundation
I celebrate
encourage
and could
definitely
cultivate
a little
more of
IV
This is my garden
I don’t normally show it to people.
The weeds are a little overgrown, yeah.
I tried to help my mom garden several years ago. (I mean several, and I’m only young!)
How it hurt my knees. They really ached. I was probably dehydrated, I think back,
cold fingers now, winter weather getting in, yes, definitely dehydrated.
I used to tell myself a story that I would never have patience.
I was really angry back then.
I used to tell myself a story that I would never garden.
I was really in the weeds back then.
I used to tell myself a story that I would never be loved.
Can you even imagine?
How silly.
How common.
How unbelievably ordinary.
To believe
a belief
a mere thought
conjured
from a mind
of deepest
insecurity
fueled by
economic
insecurity
encouraged by
destabilizing
conglomerate
objectives
appearing
synergetic
in nature
of course
but in reality
only found
in nature
not corporate
systems lol!
So since then
I set to change
that intention
by seeking,
purposely
to change
by merely
changing
aspiration
only I am
taking it
to the next
level
so discontent
at last
with ordinary
existence
that I
must,
no,
need!
to pledge
I choose
deathlessness
and traveler
of the
next life
never
to rest
never
to stop.
Fearless
Fearless
is the
chant
(did you hear? I like chanting now)
musical
and powerful
and OM
and AH
and HUM
I get it now
I’m not there yet
this story
holds within
it truth
yet really
isn’t quite
what you
imagine it
to be
Mistaken
conception
from your
mind and
that you
put
on me
(I do it too)
Right, back to the gardening.
So I’m finally learning
how to grow stuff
really, and properly
by following instructions
and making sure
these little
plant babies
get enough sunlight
and water
and I even have
a couple in my
apartment
(have you seen my apartment recently?
My ego wants me to tell you, it’s pretty rad)
You wouldn’t
believe what
I can make
happen with
enough sleep
the right diet
and a little
bit of
exercise
(okay, a lot
of dancing)
V
If I choose
to be
fearless selfless patient
virtuous
my highest self
should
humbleness
not spill
from my
lips
Nah.
Remain natural, He said.
I want to inspire, I said.
Not just be inspired by.
And all my wishes have come true.
So why not this right now?
All the wishes
I remember
and work toward all come true.
It’s just so goddamn hard
to remember them all
so I wish
to just
focus
on
the one.
Another dream from October of last year
It seemed so funny, now, that we should be sitting there.
Together at a booth with two – or three? – other people. I didn’t know any of you.
And yet – you. You stared at me with such a loving smile. I felt I knew you my whole life.
You said something to me, and I felt warm inside. Though we weren’t alone, the world stopped for us. Alone in the booth, with Bill, Jane and Russ.
Your foot brushed my leg, a flirt loaded touch. My flesh raised as though cold, suddenly five was too much. Desire filled my heart, and I longed to be held. I saw you see me; you saw me melt. From inside out, I became mush. It happened so fast – so much for being tough. I wanted to reach you, as you were sitting there. I thought we were in a booth, but now you’re sitting in a chair? And the ceiling lights flickered, from fluorescent to 40watt. In the now dimmed diner turned cafe, I no longer fought: the dream was fading fast. Though the feeling remained warm, it was now in the past. Your lingering smile and your simple foot play, I mumbled as I woke, “I wish I could stay.”
Photo (2018) & Poem (2020) by K. Samways
Snow | wonS
A snow globe world is turned around
Snow falls up then snow falls down
Defying gravity one moment here
Yet normal normal is the cheer
What comes down is what went up
Spilled contents redistributed cup to cup
Every so often this reset button trips
Snow white blanket, purity uplifts
Illusion is enough to calm most fears
Blindly inject cure: crocodile tears
The snow it fuzzies up our mind
As if it wasn’t hard enough to find
Answers in a material world
Shopping for your material girl
Happy family, joyful pawn
Garbage cleared from your front lawn
Hidden in basement, marked on map
X like treasure, X like trap
Drink your poison, muddle mind
Take the blue pill and you’ll find
You’re content, go back to sleep
No more sorrow, no more tears to weep
Do not fight back, now put on your leash
Plug in here, work, pay, perish, release
Fuzzy, fizzle, fight through fog
But it’s hot and cold, sinksand squish bog
I can’t get my boot out, it’s stuck
I’m getting sucked in, ah! shit! fuck!
It’s like every 90s kid’s nightmare
Quicksand, giant insects, CGI Monster stare
I swore I’d never do mushrooms again
So how the fuck did this poison get in?
A muddled mind, dentist lips, numb and swelled up
Gauzy cheeks, boozy blur, drink more & bottoms up!
Brandy eyes, winey breath, lighting tricks
Mascara smudge, husky voice and whiskey dick
Although he cannot get it up
Up goes the snow as we get tossed
Back to the ceiling blank and cruel
Our snow globe world, veiled reality dual
A switch up just a little now
The streets are a mess, so
Start your engine, start your plow
No drunk driving back to bed
A muddled mind craves sleep instead
Especially on snowy days with skies so white
Maddening maddening caged with fright
Absent absent is delight
These foggy thoughts have me depressed
Felt as though it should be addressed
Since my words are losing sense
Opinions will replace facts but present tense
Thoughts are real hallucinations too
So we should react and divide as taught in school
Until tremors indicate we’ve been picked up again
And perhaps we’ll wait to see
Snow fall up and people down
To make our chess piece move
Knight or queen, still just a pawn
Because the game is rigged beyond
Our understanding with snow globe tricks
Appearance versus reality
Drugs, prescription, scripts
Fed from faceless machine, dark
Conspiracy theory
You can reject because as
I’ve said
My muddled mind, fog headed here
Sees snow fall up through window pane
A mirror image from glass next door
Reads backward enasni: you’re insane.
Dear Gallantry
The shadow
of the unseen
groundedness
ethereal
skittering claws
on laminate floor
MEW and the splash
of milk poured kindly
I walk to
the temple
hands clasped
feet bloodied
by pilgrimage
I have escaped
two cults
& am now
a pilgrim
in an empty room
walls dissolve into
ecstatic space
galaxies permeated
by lantern lights
opened over lightyears
some long extinguished
into the underworld
a pilgrim’s womb
am I electric
circuit open
lips apart & move
toward
am I electric
if sparks would
come between us
should we kiss
am I electric
bad to touch
I know not what
ill thoughts
your mind produces &
can produce
a stained extreme perversion
pressed over truth
If my mind convince me
You’re the One
The mother being in us all
The child, fun
Yet still the warrior
standing tall
If my mind convince me
choose dead end
Plant the seed, Oh
Foe Destroyer
Reap the harvest, Oh
Great Enjoyer
I see the flame
alight in you
Like a moth I’m drawn
Oh please undo
Like a fly in your web,
Thanatos taboo
The mentor, a gem
my teacher, a guide
The sword in the rock,
Eros, my pride
Tears fall in my lap
in the castle alone
I unearthed the mask
to hide
behind the offering
of pearls
A broken heart reveals
I’m not diamond nor stone
As the flame ignites
the animal yields
So I sought you out, Gallantry,
found you on high
along with your mind and your songs
and your thigh
which I’ve touched in my sleep
as I’ve stroked your hair
I’ve touched you in places where
you usually take care
to preserve with resignation
that we should not be caught
staring too long while we’re working
or not, because
we’ve paused for laughter – my
god overall
I can’t help but wonder what
may come after
for you loved Cattle Call, and that
had me in
hysterics, a place I call home
giddy with giggles
and hellbent to roam.
Yet I
simply walk to the village
just over
that bridge, and I walk there
so slowly
Climbing a mountain to get to
the ridge
finding a heart, healed & holy
set apart
loving the self, deep ocean
reminisce – you’ll
do me the pleasure of delivering
this life’s first kiss
though we’ve shared infinite karma
what’s to ripen
right now can delight and amuse
us while we
still develop, unattached, somehow
we’ll figure
it all out. Are you with me?
Gallantry?
xx, The Empress
This week we’re going to mix things up a bit. I’m going to share a thirsty dream instead of a love letter. Enjoy 😉
A Dream
You met my eye across the room,
I couldn’t believe my luck.
I felt your stare raise bumps on skin
and simply yearned to fuck.
Right before my very eyes,
you strode across the floor.
My heart beat fast and skipped a beat.
I felt your eyes once more
look me up and down,
your hand came out,
and wrapped around my neck.
My eyes met yours, and there we stood
with parted lips we moved toward
each others’ face and tongue
met taste of another
flesh that was hot and sweet
and cold sweat meshed
against your cheek, my
hand came out to meet
your back and pulled you close
to grind against the fabric
of my …what was I wearing?
You went to the bathroom,
and someone came in. A new conversation
started, and I realized the
bed I was in was getting cold,
and the sweat was real, but
the image was not, though the scene was hot,
and my bedroom came into sight,
as my eyes met the light that
the day time brought, so I had to shake
it off while still admitting
it was nice to feel your eyes
on me though it was just a dream.
The Halfwit Writer