could it be worth the pain?
sure it could hurt (does hurt)
but it always can! (and will!)
samsara’s blessing, and its curse!
there’s always suffering
it’s always there
agony & heartache
these endless cares
unfulfilled wishes
we ain’t some dying breed
we’ve been wishing and craving
burning with need
since beginningless time
(that’s time without beginning)
we’ve been lost in self-grasping
our delusions are winning
then enter love, a virtue
not some object of wanting
but a wish for your happiness
not taking, not haunting
like once, a vampire sucked
my energy, my time, my luck
even when I yearned to fuck
he made me feel yuck, yuck, yuck
no more! I just yearn to give
I wish to love, to laugh to live
and even though I know it hurts
I just think it could be worse
so I’m willing to try and bear such pain
I’m even willing to go insane
(okay, never mind…I’m already there)
and I really wish I didn’t care!
but it seems I don’t have a choice
and I have a lot of choices –
normally – a lot of control
not over external matters of course…
but in this dream world,
control over matters of mind
apparently not matters of the heart
but definitely matters when being kind
alright I want to wrap this up
like a Christmas gift, my loving cup
a trophy that I wish to offer
filled with jewels as if a coffer
and yet, I awaken from the dream
to grasp at less than air between
this reality, mind-made, of you, of me
and now give up the fantasy
because it’s never worth the pain
it’s never worth the endless grasping
it’s never worth insanity
or the infinite, familiar clasping
and on this evening drear and gloomy
under clouds all grey and doomy
I curse my love life, I confess to crime
I accept the loss, and I’ll do the time
The Halfwit Writer 