Tag: external source

I dream about the serenades
     I remember each bouquet
          I recollect the cards they wrote
I recall sweet things they’d say

I received all the attention,
     had a taste of every gift
          I enjoyed quality time (a plenty!)
some acts of service, if not swift

and how I miss the ways
     they’d touch me, bow me to their will
          such kind physical affection
that I crave …                 desire still

confused pleasure in each moment
     mistakenly I named the cause
          external force, sexual proponent
when really born from karmic laws

how it feels is empty
     how it feels is lost
          how it feels was temporary
even now I pay the cost

still missing stupid moments
     I still idolize false gods
            still failing through each feeling
still attached to what is, was

still hopelessly romantic
        I’m still burdened to the core
               still looking to step lightly
 while still planting seeds of war

still learning love and patience
     I still apply effort every day
               still seeking Three Jewels of refuge
and for simple blessings I do pray

                                            so when

I dream about the serenades
     smell a sweet bouquet,
          find the cards in deep dark drawers,
and reread things they’d say

I let the attachment slip away

the feeling cannot stay

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