Written in 2011
As soon as the words leapt from my mouth like some dancing flame I couldn’t control,
I wanted to scream: I LIED!
But my mouth swallowed my words, and my tongue swelled so I could no longer speak.
I have fallen down some Alice in Wonderland rabbit hole
Caught in between a world I desire which I’ll never have and some stark reality which is playing tricks on me.
How can I be the only one deceived by these mismarked potion bottles?
When I drink the one which says courage, I grow smaller. When I drink the one marked power, I become a pawn.
However, unlike Alice I was not drowning in my own tears. It is not my sorrow I fear, but my words.
And I’m not a dumb blond like Alice, easily confused and fooled by people.
I see that Cheshire cat, always willing to smile at me; I’m never willing to smile back.
(Once upon a time were the words that I spoke.)
I drink tea like the Mad Hatter and I’m wicked like the Queen.
Maybe the best place for me is the Rabbit Hole, where I can pretend it’s all a dream, and soon I’ll wake up on the banks of that flowing river – well-rested with an attitude adjustment, and some new found appreciation like Dorothy after she returns from Oz.
If only lessons were so easily learned as in fairy tales.