Categories
Good Fortune Poetry

True Freedom is Self-Control

I am free

               listening to
The Fear’ by Ben Howard

               realization after realization
blessing after blessing pouring in

               no longer worrying
that my time is a little unclear

               no longer worrying
that I’m losing the ones I hold dear

               no longer worrying
that I live my life in the confines of fear

               I must not fear

listening to
Is That All There Is?’ by Peggy Lee

               Fear is the mind-killer

if that’s all there is my friends

               Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.

then let’s go dancing

              I will face my fear.

consistent joyful effort is clearly worth it

               I will permit it to pass over me and through me.

the prayers, the meditation, the patience

              When it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.

listening to
Self Control’ by Laura Branigan

               Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.

I, I live among the creatures of the night

               Only I will remain.*

I’m living in the forest of my dream

               but I have self-control

I am free


*Frank Herbert, Dune

Categories
Dreams Poetry

Elemental Insanity

I am of the earth

and I do not trust the water

It laps my shore
I lick it up, moistened
soft and damp
left yearning
unoiled lamp
left polished
but wanting wear

I’m earthen
–yet rarely feet have trodden here
while I walk the substrate bare-
footed, rare to see another
with the will to exhaust
such karma there–
upon my earth
travellers now fear
such dirt
and toxins leached have
run amuck
now gotten stuck
upon my shores
where you wish to lap me up

I do not trust
I will not harm the beings near
and you, my dear

I stretch my eye to the edge of
the horizon — trying to find where
water ends and sky begins
unaware I’m standing in
that ether now
my waist deep wading
transcends liminal space
and I no longer seek
to stretch my sightless senses far
but rather remain to feel
the space around

I look up and down and see that
in the sky, reflected back,
a different sea, a cloud
soaring condensation
ready to transform at any
moment, dark and massive
holding deceptive weight
threatening to rise the tides
and drown us all

I don’t trust the water

— — — — —

I am of the air

I do not trust the fire

I love it, though,
and how alluring
it dances and matches
my rhymic fancies
alighting neither
here nor there

like spark to ash
rising into the night
up to the stars –suddenly
dying, vanishing and descending
silently — crying and proclaiming
that life’s not fair

the fire burns me up
its heat draws me in
as if an answer
to the ice around my heart
as if it could possibly melt
lifetimes of anger
turned sorrow to rock
how I wished the fiery
heat-of-passion-
spawned aggression
was the answer
crystal clear —
yet the delusion’s not
so before I’m eaten up
I make like a deer
and run

I do not trust the fire

— — — — —

I am of the light

I do not trust the space
my depth perception’s off
my conception’s out of place
I do not trust the time
the way it moves so slow
to the uncomprehending mind
that dims my afterglow

I don’t like the space between us
as messages get lost, and
when you’re seeing me as separate
with problems you are fraught
I see emptiness before me
yet mistakenly, I know
naming ordinary appearance
where boundless magic grows

I do not like refraction
how it contaminates my rays
I am pure light
I feel it
yet space eliminates & constrains —
though I am the brilliant being

I don’t trust the space

— — — — —

I am of deep ignorance

or else I would escape
this elemental game —
this cyclical existence
in which I’m continuously betrayed
by each and all delusions
that gather round my head
and constrict my heart’s pace so
I can barely catch my breath
it’s time to let this go
into the water I will drown them
& with the current
let them flow


Categories
Poetry

Dog Man Grew Up With Cats

The dog boy grew up with cats
they told him he was a cat
spoke to him like a cat
groomed him as a cat
and even though he still became
Dog Man
this pack creature
is unceasingly drawn to felines
their foreplay familiar 
dogs something foreign and rarely
brought round for fun

Dog Man is sensitive and he longs
for a good belly rub
but kitties have dirty claws 
and would rather receive
their own scratch behind the ears
the pissing in a box thing?
not so clean – an illusion
but one puss in the box
is worth two dogs in the woods
so is spoken
so Dog Man clings
like a kitten to the curtains

Dog Man clings
and he won’t run with wolves
he barks with fear 
and he can’t let go

Categories
Short Fiction

Business Advice

A short story by K. Samways

‘Thank you, Albert,’ Mr. Jones nodded, claiming his drink from the proffered tray perched upon his servant Alfred’s delicate fingers. 

He took pause from gazing over the city outside his window to consider the warm brown liquid nibbling away the ice in the middle of the glass. 

He gave it a swirl with his right hand, chuckling as the cubes clinked against the crystal walls. There would always be more ice. At least, the kind he needed. 

“Do you know how to ruin a family?” Mr. Jones, feeling suddenly sentimental, turned to Albert who had taken his customary place against the wall in the shadows of the room. 

“No, sir.”

Of course he doesn’t, thought Jones. All he does is stand there all day and take orders like an idiot, so his family can frivol elsewhere. Yes, by minimum standards, Albert was a well cared for employee, paid in excess with special privileges afforded to his wife and children, allowing them to lead a relatively carefree life — provided they obeyed the rules with which their new class came.

As for Albert, he was no more than a servant to Jones, being at beck and call twenty-four hours a day, only permitted to vacation when Jones was vacationing, often travelling with him and still working; he was never doled much time with the family he so well provided for. The man’s wife had probably taken several new lovers, Jones chuckled again.

“Simple. Opposition and fear.”

The snicker preceding these words cast a chill over the room, and Albert refrained from shivering. It was rare to see Jones act so cavalier about his generally sinister doings. A small silence slowly ripened as Albert knowingly stayed dumb.

“I’m bored. Call Victoria,” Jones snapped.

“Yes, sir.” Albert inclined his head a few degrees then left the room.

Jones again turned toward the window, regretting his impulsive display of emotion. His control was not slipping, he reassured himself, and soon his friends would see what they could accomplish together. He chuckled again, feeling amused — the idea that any of them were friends. He almost laughed out loud. Language is a funny thing. And it is fun. It was part of what made the game so arousing: the odds just unpredictable enough to allow for good gambling. He had to admit, he was dealt a good hand, but he was growing more suspicious that Smith had an equally good, possibly better, hand. 

He contemplated his suspicions as he finished his drink, his eyes devouring the city below.

“Mrs. Smith, sir.” Albert returned shortly after he left, escorting an elegant middle-aged woman held firm and youthful with an expensive and complex regimen. 

“Victoria.” Jones couldn’t help but smile, nearly genuinely, he thought.

“Mr. Jones. Lovely to see you again.”

They kissed each other on each cheek, long since laughing away fears around any illness. They sat at the bar with the view of a million twinkling lights poured out before them.

“What, may I ask, are you looking for?” Mrs. Smith asked bluntly, knowing Jones’ position all too well.

“Perhaps a little less conversation,” chirped Jones as he placed his hand at the ridge of Victoria’s knee just under the hem of her dress. Her legs uncrossed themselves immediately and she drew back.

Then, as if rehearsed, she took his hand and, walking away from the window, glided toward the bedroom. Jones could hardly keep from coming for the words still lingered in his mind and as a whisper on his tongue:

Opposition and fear.”