Categories
Poetry

grateful lament

I cannot complain when I know the cause
I cannot point finger as I’m to blame
there’s no why me with the reasons clear
beyond this time and place and name

I’ve been a stupid man countless times over
I’ve been a dumb boy, many times round
I’ve appeared the greater sex and his enjoyments
now I suffer for all his fun found

Now I’m cursed with monthly lashings
poisoned body and mind, inside and out
miserable in cycles uncontrollable
happy with confidence, then mean and full of doubt

Yet to my male lives I am indebted
for I still stand here, blessed and rare
female and peaceful, lacking will to war
while unattached for others I care

Though I live in pain’s dull embrace
thanks to the men in mirrors faced
Bernhard, Kafka, Thoreau, all others
they laid the plans, now I’ll escape

Having met Dharma in this lifetime
is my pure and saving grace
with faith and steadfastness I practice
to make some meaning of this place

Categories
Poetry

Season of Sticky Sweet

How could I forget the taste
of peanut butter and honey
with sliced banana, open-faced
a delightful sandwich, toasted, plain
another sign spring has arrived
the cravings change when March is come
now savouring thick-spread-stuck tongue
quite pleasant and filling, nutty delight
cheap and easy with purse strings tight
indulging breakfast, lunch and dinner
this woman’s sandwich is the winner
one also recognizes the time of year
in the twitterpated words they hear
the birds still dressed in clothes austere
mourning dove then robin, now killdeer
all sing the song that spring has sprung
while I enjoy my buttered tongue

Categories
Poetry

beginningless rebirths, abridged

you see me as a girl when
I have been your mother
you see me mother, after
I have been your child
you see me enemy after
I have been your friend
you see me a beginning after
I’ve been each and every end
only you don’t see the continuum
you don’t see what it’s for
you don’t see the “big picture”
you beg for common sense once more

you see me as a girl
you take me as a lover
you feel each pleasure new
and each pain rediscover
next you’ll meet me as your foe
and know my torture’s art
you’ll beg to be without me
while wishes ripen to never part
the cruelest joke of samsara
the wish-granter, genie, jewel
all worldly prayers do cometh true
with just timing making us the fool

you see me as a girl
radiant, free, and open
and you, overcome with envy,
how you wish to see me broken
by running toward temptation,
grasping at the self, and craving
we lose the possibility of salvation
with such constant misbehaving
how can we overcome our loathing
and refrain from touching skin?
for in heated hate-filled love embrace
I’ll remember you were once my twin

you see me as a girl
when I have been your mother
I have been your sister, father, uncle
yes, I have been your brother
I have been a loyal lab
and I a miser, cheat, and thief
I’ve rested in eternal peace
only to wake with new belief
seeing inner demons, outer
giving unending evil toments
with such cyclic suffering for all,
how can bodhichitta remain dormant?

you see me as a girl
you take me as a lover
you feel each raw sensation new
and rare laughter rediscover
how ’bout we call it quits
and cease identifying this mind
’cause ordinary doesn’t cut it
when extraordinary’s been defined
I don’t know about your view, but
mine says this pleasure garden’s rotting
my time here is running out
and my tell-tale heart is clotting

so don’t see me as a girl
goddamn it! – don’t take me as a lover
because incest is against the law
and I have been your mother
just as sure, you have been mine
some aeons or some years ago
for we’ve done all there is to do
in all the worlds there are to know
so let’s grow bored and say no more
and escape with little wits we’ve left
we’ve done it all … oh countless times before!
now let us create cause for happiness!