friendship – The Halfwit Writer

confusing conditions

built to be broken
& cracked down to dust
born to be suffered
     offend and break trust
invented to abscond
tried to be trashed
   told to fuck off
     & thrashed for a laugh
samsara’s play buckles
          pulls out all the stops
the audience participation
          wallops a good punch

nonsense and dream world
collide innocent
how do awful things ripen?
can we prevent one torment?

it hurts so we harden
it pricks so we hack
               all beauty to pieces
        even though it doesn’t last
                                     on its own

what pride can be held
    in accomplishing the same
        as time does with no effort
              robbing us of each name
revenge becomes pointless
    as our hearts become stone
I press, we must realize our mind
‘cause I can’t take this pain
                   all apparent losses
    grief felt again and again

all relationships tarnish
      all chaos lets loose
I thought this time was different
      and so volunteered for the noose
but from this redundant perspective
      it’s so easy to see
I was built to be broken
    & caged to be freed

Womb of Time

It seems silly to confess such a vision
now, after so much time has passed

But such an image must be released

Like milk gone sour in the fridge,
flushed chunky down the john

How I would have followed you endlessly
how I’m built to follow, as a soldier
chivalrous in bruised armor, undefeated

Though appearing a king, I act a knight —
two forward and one over, L for loser
let’s invent our own games instead

How in my dreams, I submit my strength
in trusted servitude, loyal to my last breath
I am the lion that lays with the lamb

I follow you through fields, under stars, three hours
from home, flashlight in hand, owl calls on a speaker
hung from the lower branches of the pine

The air, cold and damp, presses us together
in scientific embrace and present ecstasy
end of winter love, blooming with spring

I follow you into the tent each night,
our bodies pressing squeaky air out of the mattress,
our throats downing iced coconut water, before each other

Our fingers feed furred friends before midnight,
Touch each other until dawn, pop and squeeze
tickle, tease, and cook together each morn

I follow you across the province,
each step a wish for you to accomplish your dreams
in my fantasy you have aspirations, and you name each one

Before bed each night, you whisper fairy tales to my closed eyes
All the places we’ll live and all the beings we’ll help
the examples we’ll set – no one will kill a spider again!

I follow you to a reinvented world, our happiness laid
bare and bearing only arms of peace, love
the kindness of your hand on my face,
the warmth of your embrace

I follow you from lake to lake –
I pack dinner for us to take and barbeque
watching the sunset over rough waves
washed smooth in the dusk

Though the water’s cold, and I know not its depths
my hand in yours, I dive, snorkeling for the first time,
submerged skin sensations new to my airy nature

I follow you down sandy coastlines,
metal detecting or searching for pretty stones
collecting materials, like magpies, for our nest

I follow you through ups and downs, hardships and
some celebrations do offer return on investment
I like you just the way you are, in spite of anxiety

I follow you until it’s dark, and you begin to fade away
and when this imagination ends, I know you do not stay

Because it was my vision, not yours