Tag: karma

Categories
Buddhism Philosophy Poetry

The Deserter’s Confession

To desert – to leave someone, especially lacking 

Desert – a dry place barren or lacking of water, and therefore life, typically characterized by sand or rocky substrate  

Have I deserted others? I have been repenting for abandonment – all while running from those in need, in this very life.

I have grown attached to comfortable conditions and yet things are changing. Although I know the years bear varied fruits, I still expect a consistency inconsistent with samsara, and now I am frustrated and my wishes are unfulfilled!

What can I possibly do to bear the burdens and great sufferings of this life but go for refuge to the Three Jewels – the only glimmer of gold available to protect my mind until I reach full Enlightenment. I will always be vulnerable to the illusion-like elements, believing them to be inherently existent and external to my mind! Ha! A joke and a lie grasped at by a self-cherishing, ignorant mind. 

Please, Buddha! Ripen a Dharma Jewel in my mind that I may no longer abide in such senseless suffering knowing that I create causes, I purify negativity, I grow merit in abundance, especially by remaining ever mindful and alert to the delusions that arise continuously in my mind, nonstop, as I breathe. To fight against this endless deluge, a magnificent current, is only possible through blessings (a miracle indeed)!

Praise to Buddha, the neverending source of happiness guiding all my steps, so that I may always keep a happy mind and so I might attain Enlightenment for the benefit of all living beings! How wonderful I have this precious opportunity. I will not take it for granted and I will not waste time wishing things would be easier or faster. What benefit is that to me when my primary goal is to end samsara permanently? I will be patient. I will wait quietly. I will not seek revenge. I will take responsibility for my negative karma. I will act as a Bodhisattva, now, in the present, even as I’m becoming one. I will bring the future result into the present which is simply happiness – for whatever arises is bliss and emptiness and we’ll wake up laughing, seeing it was here all along. 

And after all, how far off can we really be?

All we have to do is give up grasping at this dream. 

I will desert the dream. 

I renounce samsara.

But I will not abandon living beings. I will come back to help all others. For my goal is not, nor ever, solitary peace.

No matter how much I think I may enjoy the quiet.

I will not live in the desert.

Categories
Dreams Poetry

The Illusion

I saw a puppy dog in your eyes
I consulted with the night
“Is this a disguise?”
I waited and waited but heard no reply.

I heard an old soul in your voice
I questioned my spirit guides
“Have I before made this choice?”
They laughed and whispered, “Silly pride.”

I retrieved a fiery star
from a faraway realm
“I felt something stir,
and he felt like home.”

“O foolish girl,
we’ve told you before;
you’ll know when you feel it,
you know you need more.”

I combed with my eyes,
searched above and below,
searched within faces,
searched for what I know.

Unexpected, unexpected,
was the whisper from the moon.
Unexpected, unexpected —
but was that going to be soon?

There’s a craving and a longing,
like I’ve come unmoored.
There’s an anxious buzzing dancing,
and I’m yearning to be cured.

Seeking through external,
same mistake as before.
I know it when I feel it,
I know going in means more.

I released the burning star
“What does unexpected mean?”
“You’re missing the point,
stop playing ordinary being.”

I imagined I saw pain in your eyes.
I confessed to the night
“He reflects my disguise.”
“Your wisdom grows,” the dark replied.

I felt a soft soul on your skin,
but the imprints came from mind.
I recognized my old soul from within,
and promised, “This time I’ll be kind.”

The pain I’ve caused in countless lives,
has come against me stacked
with loneliness as a simple karmic scale
bringing balance when with patience I react. 

I accept and cultivate pure love
as an antidote to suffering – both mine
and yours – and with gratitude to guides above
heart embrace, entwine and with universe align.

Virtue and emptiness and wisdom and union
through my intention, ultimate and supreme
with universal compassion, the ultimate communion
and above all else, I will remember the dream. 

Categories
Poetry

A Caterwaul

Can I tempt?
Can I tease?
Can I bring you to your knees?

I never knew I had a power
then I heard the beggar plead

He needed more, he begged to give
He needed more of me to live

I did laugh
I did cry
and to his horror, I denied

I never knew I had a power
then I saw the beggar die

I needed more, I begged to give
I needed more of them to live

I did tempt
I did tease
and I tried my best to please

I disbelieved I had a power
And so delusion ruled with ease

I faded in, I faded out,
I turned to faith from foolish doubt

I did laugh
I did cry
in compassion I now abide

I believe I have a power
and with love I purify

Categories
Buddhism Poetry

Fragrant White Water Lily

Once you told me
if I was a flower I would be
a fragrant white water lily

I couldn’t help but feel pride
that such a thought did arise
in your less-than-poetic mind
about me

Now I see it was a sign

Like a beautiful lotus growing from the mud
I become strong, resilient and kind
Amidst cruel & non-virtuous crud

How you teach non-attachment
didn’t feel right but now I see how it’s wise

Maybe one day I’ll realize you were simply
my Spiritual Guide

Categories
Poetry

Edge of Tomorrow

I know you

Do you know me?

I cannot help but note the tragedy

of new lives lived with no memory

of old lives discarded though they’re

the very foundation of the new!

— no memory

you have of me

or I’d have seen

some bloody action by now —

or maybe you’re tied down —

she’s got you on the tracks

while I’m off the beaten path

and I’m calling out loud

— but you can’t hear me

you don’t know me

you can’t see me

you’ve forgotten —

I had too

but now I’ve seen —

no. I felt the tug,

a heart string plucked

and yearned anew

for only you

as if I’d done this many times before

a feeling I could not ignore

familiar and odd — uncanny

when you looked at me

with no knowledge of

the touches I gave long ago

time erases and time has passed

ages since we danced in the afterglow

— now no memory,

though time did slow

when you looked at me

and my heart beat so rhymically

as if we’d done this all before

— and yet, no more

as you walked away

I longed to say

what I’m looking for —

Enlightenment, and is it at your door?

I wish to be rich and it’s such

delusions that keep me poor

tempt me tease me all you want

— or do not —

I still remember you

do let me know if I can stir

a memory —

do you know me?

Categories
Poetry

Delayed Gratification

I have promised patience
in exchange for a kingdom of happiness

I have promised patience
in exchange for an appearance of love

I have promised patience
in exchange for unattached enjoyments

I have promised patience
for you, so we can complete the path together

So I wait, like a princess in her tower
with patience, my Buddha nature I empower

I promised patience, and I wait for you
with faith unwavering, my heart is true.

Categories
Poetry

Lost

I lost your number
a long time ago
— right away

after the lock broke
it was clear
I couldn’t be trusted

how things have changed
and mistaken memory
makes you
bigger, then smaller than
you were, are

who are you now?
I wonder

I lost my privilege
to know

the you
grown in moments
now passed

Categories
Buddhism Poetry

Constant Craving

I want to be
someone who loves you

with no demands
with no expectations
with no history of delusion

I want to be
the pure love always within you

yet still,
I cherish only myself

I want you to see me
I want you to love me

because of this
damned self-grasping

And then I laugh remembering
we is just a dream

Categories
Buddhism Love Letters Thirsty Thursday

Thank You | Letter 10

To my Ex,

Thank you.

You have given me much I will cherish for years to come. Nothing I can keep in a box under my bed. No pictures to burn. Gifts far greater – ones I will carry with me life to life, like my pure love for you.

Patience. 

Before I met you, it was rare to walk slowly through nature, and never would I think to name its parts. Waiting was a great torment. Sitting silent was near impossible. Then, you mixed your patient mind with mine.

Faith.

You challenged my beliefs constantly. A torture at the time, but such a gift to progress. This obstacle appeared to destroy our relationship, but served as a test I passed time and again. You helped me try each teaching until I had conviction in each one. I valued them more than temporary relationships. I would keep them at the cost of my life.

Love.

Though we did not know unconditional, we strove. I accepted love from you. And I found my happiness only in giving. For we can never take love for ourself from another. That will never cease suffering. Loving you has helped cease suffering. Loving all beings (even spiders) creates my happiness.

It is only in reflection that I can begin to understand that I was absolutely blessed by the Buddhas that my path be made meaningful and my travel swift. Thank you to Buddha, who appears as friend, family and foe to guide us from our misery.

If we can remember to apply the primary practice.

Thank you.

Love,
your Ex

Categories
Buddhism Love Letters Poetry Thirsty Thursday

Remember me? | Letter 9

Dear Karmic Potential,

Are we meeting again?
Have we met before?
Your appearance undoes me
but when I search
I cannot find me at all
nor can I find you

It’s like you’re in a different city
— certainly not here
and yet your closeness lingers
as though you are still near

Suddenly I am all the days
you choose to ignore
and I am the grasping
and I am the craving once more

Still, I cannot but hope you
also feel my presence
maybe yearn for my embrace
begging time be brief ‘tween now
and next you’ll see my face

I pray it be this lifetime
I pray delusion-free
Yet if I have to wait another ten
rounds to serve with you, I will

Love wishes only happiness
so that is all I wish for you

I know it’s all wrong
if ever samsara feels right
but this I am certain of, also,
we can, we will escape

Why not tonight?

Love,
A past and future partner in (escaping) crime