This is a personal story and encouragement, not an argument. If you’re not interested in learning why, then don’t read this post. If you don’t want to quit social media, then don’t. I’m not asking you to.
Why I quit social media
- It steals your time.
- It steals your money.
- It steals your life.
Social media technology is designed for profit. That profit comes from you. You are feeding a machine that syphons money out of your community, sells your personal information so it can better advertise to you, and uses your volunteered preferences to keep you hooked and engaged, even angry. Over 90% of users do not critically choose how much time they spend online, what they consume, what is advertised to them, and most are absolutely unaware of the pervasive impact it has in every aspect of their life. You have no freedom online. It does not exist. As of December 16, 2020, I escaped the cult of social media and ended my slavery. Since, more information has come to light about the corruption rampantly perpetuated by the providers of these social services, how it erodes our democracy, and we are imbibed with consumer beliefs. Yet, little can be done to impede its growth. If a revolution is to occur, it must happen offline and within your own mind.
Good luck.
How I quit
- Find Fulfillment Offline
Who are you when you’re not working and you’re not scrolling? Who are you beyond your online profile? How do you spend your time? Do you post fancy recipes or do you actually make them? Do you make others laugh or just mindlessly consume low-grade, repetitive humour? Do you live a life you’re proud of or just shame others for not meeting your unrealistic expectations? Do you understand cause & effect?
My recommendation is to find a hobby – as old fashioned as that sounds – and get good at it. Choose something that you have to practice, something that requires time and effort to get good at. Photography, painting, writing, drawing, math, science, plant identification, bird watching, yoga. Choose something that encourages engagement from other learners or mentors. Feel how amazing it is to get better at something other than videogames or getting online likes. Keep it to yourself and your community. Don’t share every bit of your practice. Guard what’s yours like a treasure. Stop offering it for free to everyone who comes along just to get a thrill from the attention. See how YOU feel about yourself when you do something good, when you get better. How do you like yourself when you’re the only one in the room?
When your mind and body improves (instead of disintegrating), you’ll wonder why you were wasting so much time. You may even realize it wasn’t a choice. You can free yourself from addiction, but you need purpose and meaning in your life.
I train my mind. I practice Buddhism (training in mindfulness), paint, write, draw and exercise. The moment I let go of social media was the moment I realized how much time I actually had for myself, to volunteer, to improve myself and my community, and even just love myself as I am.
Next, try volunteering. Locally and with your own two hands. Find shelter that needs someone to cook and clean. Find a community garden. Find a hospice. Pick up garbage on your favourite hiking trail. Use your imagination. Don’t try to solve a situation overseas. Start by cleaning up your room, then your neighbourhood. - Text & Meet Ups
Part of the danger of today’s dystopian reality is that, despite all of the current “medical” rhetoric, isolation is still the greatest danger, even making you more susceptible to catching colds/viruses. We know that 90% of communication is non verbal, and we know touch is important to happy human social functioning. The internet is not the place to find these things, and it should not be promoted as the safest way to build connection.
Does anyone know the psychological impact of not seeing a smile for a year? Why are we making decisions that jeopardize the health and connection of people permanently? Especially seniors in the last years of their lives. Especially people deemed “non compliant,” because they don’t instantaneously accept being told what to do by a compromised governmental authority figure or they need more than 6 months to change their mind about something that’s honestly a pretty big deal. Asking for government ID to get into a theatre or food court? That’s a big deal. That’s not something that should be popped into command overnight with no set time to overturn and no stopping where it ends.
“This is my business, I get to choose who shops here.” Plug this into various contexts and you’ll get varying levels of support or dissent. Don’t want to serve gay people? You’re a bigot. Don’t want to serve the unvaccinated? You’re a role model.
In the end, none of these policies reflect freedom, equanimity, or safety. And perhaps that’s not what you want in your society. But I can say, of my own opinion, this is not the society I envisioned or dreamed about when I was a little girl, so I’ll be doing my damnedest to remain true to myself and what’s right, what doesn’t feel like my gut tearing in half because of a politician’s desperate and fearful attempt at solving an ECONOMIC crisis (not a health crisis). Fuck that noise.
In person meet-ups, even with just a few close people, on a regular basis is a must if you’re going to leave your digital community behind. Try and find this before you disconnect completely. I learned the hard way that there is no “old fashioned method” during a modern pandemic that encourages fastidious and unquestioning use of tracking technology.
Make sure you have phone numbers. Texting and calling is just as accessible as social media and video messaging, and it’s more personal. It shows that you’re thinking of someone without an internet reminder that it’s their birthday or they just “liked” the same thing you did. - Just hit delete
In an age where we have rapidly come to define ourself digitally, it can feel overwhelmingly difficult to hit the deactivate or delete buttons on your account. When people Google my name, what’s even gonna come up? What if my friends post an ugly picture of me and I don’t see it? What if no one wishes me happy birthday?
I hit delete with a sense of curiosity (instead of fear). What does an unadvertised future hold? What potentials are in my own mind? Who the fuck am I, actually? Do you know how many minutes you can contemplate these questions while scrolling Instagram or devouring TikTok? None.
And do you know what? It’s worth it. It’s worth taking the time to get to know yourself and your friends and your community and volunteer and touch and hold hands and laugh and see one another smile in person – where a laugh is a thousand times more contagious and life offers more three dimensional possibilities (you might say).
Thank you for taking the time to read this post. My only wish for you is that you live a life that makes you happy, that you discover what real happiness is.
“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo.
JRR Tolkien
“So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.”