Categories
Dreams Poetry

Giving Thanks to a Past-life Brother

Am I a menace?
A mara? A demon?
Will no one tell me?
Will they simply write a book about me
                 after I die?
Or will I be blasted into forgetful oblivion, purposefully?
What delight did I lack, will I lack,
                 force others to abandon
with my mara-induced delusions?
                  (autism, they call it now)
refusing responsibility – still!
     a demon to this day
     poor quality on display
Brother Fabjan, rescue me 🙏
please don’t make a mockery
     of my life’s work, of my plays
     of my dreadful mimicry,
the plagiarism of youth
in poor taste – ah! I know!
But despondency after death
     is a hell realm, and – alas! –
I was merely reborn human
again – ah! But not to torment you
still! A demon you say!
                  Oh brother Peter Fabjan!
                  You could not rescue me!
So this lifetime, I turn instead
to a Spiritual Guide,
Buddha Shakyamuni’s continuum,
and, in constant manifestation,
                  his teachers!
I am grateful, finally,
to shed this shadow of karma
which reeks of dreadful delusion,
     this familial mockery, betrayal
      – no doubt I returned or would return in kind –
finally, I get to cleanse such evil minds!
Alas! I am grateful!
Thank you, my brother

Categories
Buddhism Poetry

Part of it all: III

(continued from)

<3>

I sit apart
    yearning
        misunderstanding
            my separateness
                  does not exist

    and still
          it is effortful
                to fight such suffering
          deceitful maras
    mistaken minds

I am but a drop
          at my heart
                      at the heart of all hearts
          inseparable, pure
    with the Dharma cure

            to be a part of it all
                    happily

Categories
Dreams Poetry

Possession

I

throat has seized
and body lusts,
reach out to grasp
man built to thrust

yet nothing there
for me to reach
and absent trust
rendered release

I cannot help
but ask and plead,
what dread clasp
robbed me of peace
?

II

such a force came over me
I could not name
I could not tame
without remorse
my mind possessed
cut him down
to see him bled

III

a piece of mind
it held me back
so his murder
I did not commit
but the urge arose,
as I now recall,
to myself hard to admit
the need for me to train my mind
before I face the nearing times
when all are tested
most will fail
as they trained their minds
to no avail