Categories
Monday Motivation Philosophy

Why I Quit Social Media | MM 4

This is a personal story and encouragement, not an argument. If you’re not interested in learning why, then don’t read this post. If you don’t want to quit social media, then don’t. I’m not asking you to.


Why I quit social media

  1. It steals your time.
  2. It steals your money.
  3. It steals your life.

Social media technology is designed for profit. That profit comes from you. You are feeding a machine that syphons money out of your community, sells your personal information so it can better advertise to you, and uses your volunteered preferences to keep you hooked and engaged, even angry. Over 90% of users do not critically choose how much time they spend online, what they consume, what is advertised to them, and most are absolutely unaware of the pervasive impact it has in every aspect of their life. You have no freedom online. It does not exist. As of December 16, 2020, I escaped the cult of social media and ended my slavery. Since, more information has come to light about the corruption rampantly perpetuated by the providers of these social services, how it erodes our democracy, and we are imbibed with consumer beliefs. Yet, little can be done to impede its growth. If a revolution is to occur, it must happen offline and within your own mind.

Good luck.

How I quit

  1. Find Fulfillment Offline
    Who are you when you’re not working and you’re not scrolling? Who are you beyond your online profile? How do you spend your time? Do you post fancy recipes or do you actually make them? Do you make others laugh or just mindlessly consume low-grade, repetitive humour? Do you live a life you’re proud of or just shame others for not meeting your unrealistic expectations? Do you understand cause & effect?

    My recommendation is to find a hobby – as old fashioned as that sounds – and get good at it. Choose something that you have to practice, something that requires time and effort to get good at. Photography, painting, writing, drawing, math, science, plant identification, bird watching, yoga. Choose something that encourages engagement from other learners or mentors. Feel how amazing it is to get better at something other than videogames or getting online likes. Keep it to yourself and your community. Don’t share every bit of your practice. Guard what’s yours like a treasure. Stop offering it for free to everyone who comes along just to get a thrill from the attention. See how YOU feel about yourself when you do something good, when you get better. How do you like yourself when you’re the only one in the room?
    When your mind and body improves (instead of disintegrating), you’ll wonder why you were wasting so much time. You may even realize it wasn’t a choice. You can free yourself from addiction, but you need purpose and meaning in your life.
    I train my mind. I practice Buddhism (training in mindfulness), paint, write, draw and exercise. The moment I let go of social media was the moment I realized how much time I actually had for myself, to volunteer, to improve myself and my community, and even just love myself as I am.
    Next, try volunteering. Locally and with your own two hands. Find shelter that needs someone to cook and clean. Find a community garden. Find a hospice. Pick up garbage on your favourite hiking trail. Use your imagination. Don’t try to solve a situation overseas. Start by cleaning up your room, then your neighbourhood.
  2. Text & Meet Ups
    Part of the danger of today’s dystopian reality is that, despite all of the current “medical” rhetoric, isolation is still the greatest danger, even making you more susceptible to catching colds/viruses. We know that 90% of communication is non verbal, and we know touch is important to happy human social functioning. The internet is not the place to find these things, and it should not be promoted as the safest way to build connection.
    Does anyone know the psychological impact of not seeing a smile for a year? Why are we making decisions that jeopardize the health and connection of people permanently? Especially seniors in the last years of their lives. Especially people deemed “non compliant,” because they don’t instantaneously accept being told what to do by a compromised governmental authority figure or they need more than 6 months to change their mind about something that’s honestly a pretty big deal. Asking for government ID to get into a theatre or food court? That’s a big deal. That’s not something that should be popped into command overnight with no set time to overturn and no stopping where it ends.
    “This is my business, I get to choose who shops here.” Plug this into various contexts and you’ll get varying levels of support or dissent. Don’t want to serve gay people? You’re a bigot. Don’t want to serve the unvaccinated? You’re a role model.
    In the end, none of these policies reflect freedom, equanimity, or safety. And perhaps that’s not what you want in your society. But I can say, of my own opinion, this is not the society I envisioned or dreamed about when I was a little girl, so I’ll be doing my damnedest to remain true to myself and what’s right, what doesn’t feel like my gut tearing in half because of a politician’s desperate and fearful attempt at solving an ECONOMIC crisis (not a health crisis). Fuck that noise.
    In person meet-ups, even with just a few close people, on a regular basis is a must if you’re going to leave your digital community behind. Try and find this before you disconnect completely. I learned the hard way that there is no “old fashioned method” during a modern pandemic that encourages fastidious and unquestioning use of tracking technology.
    Make sure you have phone numbers. Texting and calling is just as accessible as social media and video messaging, and it’s more personal. It shows that you’re thinking of someone without an internet reminder that it’s their birthday or they just “liked” the same thing you did.
  3. Just hit delete
    In an age where we have rapidly come to define ourself digitally, it can feel overwhelmingly difficult to hit the deactivate or delete buttons on your account. When people Google my name, what’s even gonna come up? What if my friends post an ugly picture of me and I don’t see it? What if no one wishes me happy birthday?
    I hit delete with a sense of curiosity (instead of fear). What does an unadvertised future hold? What potentials are in my own mind? Who the fuck am I, actually? Do you know how many minutes you can contemplate these questions while scrolling Instagram or devouring TikTok? None.
    And do you know what? It’s worth it. It’s worth taking the time to get to know yourself and your friends and your community and volunteer and touch and hold hands and laugh and see one another smile in person – where a laugh is a thousand times more contagious and life offers more three dimensional possibilities (you might say).

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. My only wish for you is that you live a life that makes you happy, that you discover what real happiness is.


I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo.
“So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.

JRR Tolkien
Categories
Buddhism Meditation Monday Motivation

Meditation & Mindfulness | MM 3

Listen to Gen-la Kelsang Khyenrab teach about developing a happy mind.

“We need to improve the quality of our mind if we want to be truly happy.”

Gen-la Kelsang Khyenrab

Motivation Challenge 1:

Identify three problems in your day. See if you can respond to each problem with a positive mind. How can you control your desire for things going a certain way and accept the situation as it is?

At the end of the day, reflect (i.e. journal) on what you learned from each problem. If you were able to help someone else, rejoice!

In doing mindful activities like this, we can accomplish two things:

  1. Accumulate positive karma through helping others, patiently accepting what is, and transforming adverse conditions
  2. Train our mind to become strong, peaceful and happy

Meditation: Challenge 1:

Spend one to two minutes meditating on how you helped others in your day. If no examples come to you, you can always imagine doing things to help others. Try to generate a warm feeling of love or compassion or gratitude toward the people you’ve helped. (Keep pets or animals in mind too – just as important as people!)

Spend two to three minutes meditating on this warm feeling at your heart. This is your object of meditation. Try and hold it for as long as possible. If your mind wanders, just bring it back to your object as soon as you notice. Do so without any judgment.

If this is your first time meditating, try repeating the following to yourself a few times before you start:

“I can meditate. I have the ability to hold my concentration. I will learn to develop concentration, because it is important. I can and I will focus on my object of meditation.”

This is more helpful than negative self talk like “I’m no good at meditating. Meditation isn’t for me. I’ll never be able to concentrate. I can’t control my mind.” These thoughts cause nothing but harm, so there is no purpose in encouraging them.

If you’re worried about getting “stuck” in meditation, simply set a timer for five to ten minutes, or whatever you can spare.

For a real challenge, try this for one whole week. Keep a journal and pay attention to how your mind is throughout the day. Do you feel as stressed? How is your patience? How are you sleeping?

I’m sending lots of love and positive energy your way. Good luck!

Categories
Monday Motivation Philosophy

Hold Fast Your Destiny | MM 2

The best discipline I ever received from a teacher in elementary school was, “I’m not telling you not to do it. I’m telling you not to get caught.” He was referring to my poetry notebook confiscated by a substitute teacher. She had taken particular offense to the metaphor I drew of my homeroom teacher as the falling sun.

Mr. Watson was one of few teachers who did not actively try and kill my childhood dreams of becoming a creative. The first time I received in-school support was from my grade two teacher: he laminated one of the first stories I wrote.

I carefully crafted my dreams in secret for most of my young life. Teachers and many other adults were unskillful at nurturing big ideas. They were small dreamers, and they functioned to place limits on all young lives they touched. This was my experience anyway.

There is a Bob Dylan quote that goes, “Destiny is a feeling you have that you know something about yourself nobody else does. The picture you have in your own mind of what you’re about will come true. It’s a kind of a thing you kind of have to keep to your own self, because it’s a fragile feeling, and if you put it out there, then someone will kill it. It’s best to keep that all inside.”

I feel this truth. When you have a special idea or dream or talent, it’s important to keep some of it to yourself. You have a personal legend, a treasure, and it’s perfectly okay to guard that. In fact, I believe you should. Not everything is meant for the world to see. People kill ideas. We see it every day. Not one idea can be agreed on by all people – so why try and make it so?

Keep doing what you love, what’s precious to you. At the right time, you’ll be able to reveal it to a select section of the world: your special audience. In its infancy, you must guard your personal legend so it can’t be torn down by people who take joy in setting other people’s limitations. In the meantime, work on removing self-imposed restrictions. Encourage others wherever you can, and this gesture will be returned tenfold.

Your potential knows no bounds.


Categories
Monday Motivation

Monday Motivation! | MM 1

Get ready for a great start to your week! Mondays don’t have to suck. Actually, its been my favourite day of the week for years now (and not just because it was the only day off from my most recent employer).

Make Monday the day that sets the tone for the entire week. Make it a source of inspiration and set your intention.

I’ll do my best to help here on out. Subscribe to my newsletter (below), follow my blog, and turn on your notifications. I’ll deliver a dose of Motivation or Meditation each Monday to encourage you to make the most of the moment.

We’ll start this week with a simple quote from one of my favourite novels, The Alchemist:

“…when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

Paulo Coelho

Why does this novel hit my top five?

The simple parable proffers advice and truth that is easy to believe and impossible to prove incorrect.

Each time I’ve decided what I want, “the universe” has absolutely helped me achieve it. Support comes from friends, family, strangers, spiritual practice, and sudden opportunities.

Why doesn’t this work for everyone?

The biggest barrier in people achieving their dreams is that they’ve stopped dreaming. They simply don’t know what they want. The universe can only help you if you help yourself. The first step is making a decision and sticking to it:

Who do I want to be? How do I want to live? What do I want to achieve? Why is this important to me? Where do I see myself?

One piece of advice: let go of “when” and ask instead:

What can I do with today?

“What’s the world’s greatest lie?” the boy asked, completely surprised. “It’s this: that a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what’s happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate. That’s the world’s greatest lie.”

Paulo Coelho