Tag: oldie

written in 2013

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It’s selfish and conceited, but sometimes I like to think I was your worst.
I’m the little period in your life you swallow pills to forget.
I’m the worst thing to ever happen to you.

I kept you up all night, tossing in your bed,
while thoughts went ’round your head,
like:
who the fuck is she, and
did she mean what she said?

I’m a little piece of nightmare that got stuck in your dream teeth.
I’m the ghost devil on your shoulder, that you thought you’d shed.

Every so often you recall what I did,
and think:
shit, what did I get into, and
can it never happen again?

I was conceited when I loved you; I was selfish when I left.
I tossed words without abandon; I belittled what we had.

Misery loves company, was my battle cry.
I hung the phrase on all my banners, and
let harsh words fall from my lips.

Each second I felt scorned, I thought would be my last
Every teardrop that fell from my eye,
you knew I blamed on you.
I stuck a dagger in your chest, hoping to rake through
your ribs and crack them down to dust.

I love to imagine how I was the worst thing to ever happen to you,
and in that I will be immortalized.

I’m the slanderous tale told at the cabin, and ghost story for the young.
A cautionary tale of psycho bitches, and what can come undone.
A warning for your friends, a comedy for the bored,
a thank-your-lucky-stars-it-wasn’t-you for the unappreciative ignored.

I will outlive all the rest, based on my infamy of awfulness.

And then I feel downright bad.

Because I loved you in the moment. I treasured what we had.
I trusted every word you spoke, believed each lie you said —
I think we both did —

and when I started believing I was the
worst thing that could happen to you, that I was crazy and insane,
I ran away and still blame you, even if it’s all in vain.

Because I was the worst thing to ever happen to you.