If I search wisely
I find all living beings
only to be kind
If I wish to cease
finding fault with all beings
I must fix my mind
I cannot lay blame
with any other being
I must purify
hard to believe
Time, hardly passed
and a mark, already here
nearly two years
and a different mind
has appeared, so many times over
nearly two years ago
you claimed me
unsteady, unstable,
toxic and cold
now, not two years passed
and I’m too goddamned
stable and heart-of-gold fast,
too nice for any old soul
how goddamned depressing
for this romantic dolt
time after time, rejected
for incredible conventional reason
understanding it’s karmic creation
— nothing personal of course
while feeling deeply personal
a reality of my own making
just the swiftest vehicle
my own preference for
navigating Niagara roads
still hard to accept sometimes
it’s the life I needed, I chose
thank you, my kind Spiritual Guide,
for ripening such conditions —
from which I could never hide
and one day will appreciate
more than my present self knows
If my life were a movie
I’d be in a montage scene right now
They really gloss over the stamina it takes
To be a long distance runner
When you’re only familiar
With sprinting
— There’s no finish line?
The space between 1 and 2 is the
same infinite quality as between 2 and 3
Not the same space
different aspects
Yes the same nature
infinite
∞
You can wish and
you can pray
you can hope for
a brighter day
you’ll see the gate to freedom
and you’ll always get halfway
but none of your wishes
will come true
you’ll never be
a real boy
until the strings
they pull are taken ‘way
You may have skin
and you can dance
and once I think
you crapped your pants
yet a puppet you will stay
until your strings
are old and gray
you will remain
their easy prey
you’ll never wander
you’ll never stray
you’ll never wonder
you’ll never play
You’ll never be
a real boy
The Halfwit Writer