Here and now, I finally know
A result, born from
Past cause – a virtuous one – and
Present causes making future effects
Yes, this is the source of my
Happiness!
Here and now, I finally know
A result, born from
Past cause – a virtuous one – and
Present causes making future effects
Yes, this is the source of my
Happiness!
hard to believe
Time, hardly passed
and a mark, already here
nearly two years
and a different mind
has appeared, so many times over
nearly two years ago
you claimed me
unsteady, unstable,
toxic and cold
now, not two years passed
and I’m too goddamned
stable and heart-of-gold fast,
too nice for any old soul
how goddamned depressing
for this romantic dolt
time after time, rejected
for incredible conventional reason
understanding it’s karmic creation
— nothing personal of course
while feeling deeply personal
a reality of my own making
just the swiftest vehicle
my own preference for
navigating Niagara roads
still hard to accept sometimes
it’s the life I needed, I chose
thank you, my kind Spiritual Guide,
for ripening such conditions —
from which I could never hide
and one day will appreciate
more than my present self knows
Open your mind, heart
to feel what you feel, name it
your Spiritual Guide whispers to you
as a wave that laps the sandy shore, gently
receding, absent whitecaps
Name what you feel
be not afraid
for what rises will fall
and what fear have we
of what is not permanent,
never mind what we cannot name?
What we cannot name does not exist,
so what is it?
and you go within,
as instructed for
within is all there is
when there is
no out there out there
and you feel
disappointment
red, raw, and sinewy
funnily, sadly, and sorely
familiar, rubbed, worn and
blistered, in risk of rot
if you let it fester like
resentment –
you can’t
I was here first your way
in or out of this one
it’s not yours, except
you lay claim to its
disappointment
as though it could have been
if it could have it would have
and it didn’t so it won’t
and you think
acceptance
the sweetest fruit,
sometimes the heaviest to bear
laid at your feet as you risk despair
only having to pick it up, lift it
with legs of wisdom,
but no –
I chose
to disappoint myself
yet, hope
hope is here too
blossoming as a new bud
for disappointment
could not create sorrow
where love and compassion
had already taken root –
my mind protected by a gate of
incredible goodness, the only pleasure
I’ll happily increase in samsara’s garden
where running never yields escape
for the iron fence is the nature
of the mind – presently misunderstood
so hope,
hope that yields to faith
is what transforms my dream
because I must believe that
change is possible, is real
to make progress, effort, heal
I trust my Spiritual Guide’s instructions
for I put them to the test
and when hope transformed to purest
Faith, I see they are the best
and still my foolish mind cannot
afford to rest
because I was the mind of
unnecessary disappointment today
the utmost waste of breath
when each and every thing that’s ripened
has been for my swift path’s benefit
so this too I will transform
and birth love so great it shall
become the norm, even if time be brief
we have so little to work with,
yet there’s so much we can achieve
if we hold correct belief
so, still I see the disappointment
my mind claims as mine – though truly
I could do without, here, add to that list
my deluded doubt
I know my happiness doesn’t lie here,
and still I mourn a temporary loss –
so instead, I donate
these mistaken minds to the cause,
the cause of the effect, the only one
I wish to possess, the greatest mind
of precious Enlightenment
(for others’ benefit, may I forever cease
these horrible, painful minds of suffering)
If waiting is confusion
I must take constant action
always moving, the Tim Kennedy way,
making meaning of each moment
remembering each pain
How else will I wish to escape?
How else will I make effort to change?
A traveler bound for futures lives
knows she does not rest
intention fills each moment,
causes for future effects
Why not make them virtuous,
choosing happiness instead?
We constantly plan our suffering
as if carefully ripening its seed
whatever fruit or thorn befalls us,
we first reach forth to blame
How will we become wiser
while prioritizing our fame?
How will we help others
while wallowing in our shame?
We should make meaning of our life
short and precious and rare
We should grasp this opportunity
instead of yielding to our fear
Will you rise to the occasion?
Enjoy all moments as they pass?
Understanding true causes
I just rejoice and laugh
I should sleep
but time is fleeting
so when visions creep
I bow in greeting
the storms have come
and the rain it pours
what little I get
leaves me wanting more
I thought I found freedom
but only suffering comes
I long to escape —
but the feeling goes on, and on
Music: “The Feeling” by Lost Frequencies
Video & Editing: K. Samways
smart mouth, ignorant mind
quick to speak, quick to die
life too brief, running out of time
creating causes to ever find
endless suffering
why me?
fast talk, soft skin
feel without, see within
fast decisions, a life of sin
feel samsara hook you in
with attachment
why not me?
as I seek the highest highs
I learn the lowest lows
then suddenly sink lower
than I’d ever thought I’d go
the lower realms
not again
yet always I’m forgetting
the causes of my pain
making all escape attempts
nothing but in vain
putting me to shame
again
the blue of Mount Meru
reflects into our sky
all the flesh and bones
of all my lives gone by
exceed its mass
and still, again,
I try
what need have I
for touch of yours
when ‘cross my skin
this water pours
absorbed in icy creek
or embraced by steamy tub
I don’t miss your hands
when sultry bubbles rub
breezy leaves float gently down
to lucious forest floor below
to the music of nature, sensuous sound
I meditate and let my wisdom grow
Music: “Drippin” by SaQi, WORTH, & The Human Experience
Video & Editing: K. Samways
I wait for peace, but it does not come.
I throw myself into old enjoyments,
searching for happiness, but finding none
I am desperate, not a wise guy
so I’m never comprehending why
ever turning a blind eye to the truth
a truth delivered directly to my hands
and firmly ignored, as I close and lock
freedom’s door, I choose confusion
did I choose my slavery?
and now I wonder how the children cry
why me?
something there
and something not
something cold
and something hot
a fingernail stroked down your back
a moldy sandwich in your pack
enough of this, it’s time to go
it’s all a dream, I thought you’d know
Music: “Caves” by CLANN
Video & Editing: K. Samways
I always wanted the best for you
that’s kind of why I wished you knew
what you wanted in life, mostly
and, you know, kind of who you’d like to be
maybe one or two simple goals
a job, career — a commitment-phobe
is what I got instead
with stress and anxiety round
his balding head, and don’t get me started
on the gluten allergy
okay, I’ll try not to make it personal –
as a bodhisattva, with bodhichitta
I now pray
for each and every being to be happy
each and every day
for all suffering to be gone
for even you to get your fill
for not one enemy I claim
not one ounce of ill will remains
I hope you’re happy on your path
I hope you’re surrounded with love and laughs
I haven’t left a bit of wrath
to blame anything on you
even when I wanted to
instead I saw the good you grew
in me and many others
despite the bumpy, gritty roads
calves in ditches and girl scout notes
the ups and downs and round and rounds
and endless suffering,
I’d choose it all again —
if I don’t escape this life
we’re bound to repeat that goddam strife
because we couldn’t close the loop
our destiny will be to regroup
unless one of us is liberated,
one of us is freed
although I wish it would be you
I must know it will be me
if what I see in you,
is merely a mirror of myself
a bloody tormented soul
I’ve now left upon the shelf
a chrysalis ripped apart
the snakeskin that I shed
unlike losing hair upon your head,
intentional,
even you remember intention
maybe you even have it now
I believe we all can change
I’m doing it somehow
all beings will destroy delusions
all virtue will ensue
all beings become Buddhas
even me
even you