The dog boy grew up with cats they told him he was a cat spoke to him like a cat groomed him as a cat and even though he still became Dog Man this pack creature is unceasingly drawn to felines their foreplay familiar dogs something foreign and rarely brought round for fun
Dog Man is sensitive and he longs for a good belly rub but kitties have dirty claws and would rather receive their own scratch behind the ears the pissing in a box thing? not so clean – an illusion but one puss in the box is worth two dogs in the woods so is spoken so Dog Man clings like a kitten to the curtains
Dog Man clings and he won’t run with wolves he barks with fear and he can’t let go
When I stand alone, refusing to be wrecked by a cellphone superglued to my senses, application addiction gone awry
When I refuse to partake in modern convention preferring soft and spiky summer grass between my toes, humidity sucking sweat to the surface of my skin, lying upon rocks under thick air, thick branches bearing bright green canopies, thousands of thirsty leaves, some yellow and release reminders that this moment is temporary, and the Fall will come
Who will love me then?
When I bake appled pies and over-romanticize the long shadows of autumned evening walks my season of spiders, ripping through webs strung out over trails, boasting my bravery – no more fear of fine-legged friends just as precious a life, so I give love I give compassion, knowing these virtues are given not taken, the cause of the effect, happiness
Why, then, do I ask for love?
Believing the grasping, the craving its fulfilment will make me whole, and I will never want again – a lie like salt water quenching thirst impossible and possibility still believed
Who will love me when I am under a spell of such insanity?
And who will guide me out of this suffering? Permanently?
Though recently I cursed your name Your scent, your breath, a stink, a stain Your touch, your feel, a pin, a prick Yet in my mind, you stay, you stick
You’re fastened here, you linger near As if you’re tacked, taped, adhered Permanently welded there inside my head Yet rarely now I wish you harm or dead
You simply appear as though invited for tea It just happens quite naturally And then I think…I want to come home No matter that I’d longed to roam
I’d yearned to uproot myself to find A freedom I could never buy I’d have to fight and from that I’d shied For my courage has not your span, nor stride
When I was lost, I saw your face It ‘peared before my resting place Before I netflixed, before I chilled I’d see you there, and my heart stilled
But you’d dissolve with phantom grace Leaving me grasping at empty space Thinking, lingering nostalgic syndrome Please, my love, can I come home?
I wish I did well on my own When lonesome time and tears have shown I simply do not enjoy hollow life Knowing I gave up love, compassion, kindness, a wife
Someone, I thought, is all I need To walk the forest trails with me Perhaps keep me warm on winter’s night Whom I can pleasure and give delight
Now the nights are long and cold And though I’m young, I’m feeling old I’m feeling lost, can I come home? I don’t like life in monochrome
I miss your colour, I miss your zest You weren’t unstable, you’re simply best To think I’d thought you like the rest To think I’d sabotaged your jest
Now when life is cold and grey Like on this rainy winter’s day My mind takes me for that trip That makes me miss your leadership
I know I should seek happiness and peace Plan my life, find new love, sign the lease Still though I dream of travel, Paris, Rome Mostly, I wish I could come home
The Halfwit Writer 