So funny now
After a year of blaming one thing
We should now so easily
Find a cause of death
Inconclusive
Categories
Inconclusive
Tag: Poetry
Won’t it be wonderful
when we finally understand
cause and effect
Suddenly blame will not be
so effortless
by K. Samways
Categories
Lost Cleaning Practice
By K. Samways, 2021
Things that were difficult to clean
used to be household staples
Now they are replaced
by smooth and glossy electronics
attracting dust within a square metre radius
making for more efficient chore sessions
We are like quick machines
switching from one task to another
only able to keep an instruction in our mind
for a very brief time
because we must keep
switching
switching
switching
on and off
to this and that
repeat, correct mistakes
respond, complete task
submit
submit
submit
Our sleep is restless
and we no longer question our dreams
or if we do
It is in private, a shy task abandoned
before a journal entry is made on a public platform
until a journal entry is censored on a public platform
and we cry when no one reads our diaries
how unfair
how unjust
how unliked
We are like quick machines
lacking responsibility for our actions
for we were merely programmed by our society
conditioned by the ones we loved
so we are okay with it
because we call it
normal
normal
normal
and if we are not normal, what will others label us?
what would I label myself?
Would I call myself
nice
kind
patient
Do you wonder what was in a woman’s mind
as she dusted her house each day
undistracted by Spotify or cell phone cry
surely not everyone was seduced by day-drinking
and of course they had
morals
morals
morals
What was contemplated? Was it the same as
our current curse?
relentless, mean and negative
thoughts
thoughts
thoughts
If I am like a quick machine
conditioned by culture
groomed by carrot and stick seduction
a good girl’s malediction
only one thing would be
worse
worse
worse
And that would be to waste this opportunity
to instead program my minds to be
peace
peace
peace
love
love
love
joy
joy
joy
So I have filled my house
with objects that I need to
detail and clean with a fine tooth brush
so that I might learn to
focus
focus
focus
And to fill my heart
With precious living beings
I need to cherish and
love
love
love
To begin to set things straight, I clean my house
and my mind simultaneously
no status update needed
Categories
Snowflake Project
12.11.20 – Conception Statement
I have an idea for a new poetry collection: The Special Snowflake Project
It’s kind of supposed to sound stupid. That’s the trickery of millennialism. How can you value anything the same when you’re about to die? Though so are we – we have not the same awareness of death nor the self-grasping. Although we’ll get there without help.
Really, I see this project as an illustration of dependent relationships. That’s why I’ll describe how the project came to be.
Nothing exists from it’s own side.
I’ll drop you in the middle then.
Language was created, and we desired communication. We desired written communication. Written word was developed. It evolved. We moved from letters to books. Oral tales no longer enough. Writers inspired authors. Authors inspired Marian Keyes. She was moved to write a specific book that caught my specific eye when I was browsing in Chapters (Coles?) at the Conestoga Mall, a little heart broken, healing, day-dreaming, therapy-shopping, and I purchased The Brightest Star in the Sky. This book sat on several different shelves over 10 years, as I moved from place to place. Finally I put it up for yard sale, and it was still left untouched.
So I decided to carve it into pieces. Festive 2020 decorations made of the books I’ll never read, I think. Yet, after I punch the pages into new shapes (snowflakes), a strange desire to read them does arise in me. I use a sharpie (which also has a long history tied to communication we won’t go into now…) to block out words I don’t need, and I recycle inspired work into inspired work. Creative writing dependent on a long chain of personal and worldly apparently material but in fact entirely mind-made events.
This project is designed specifically to engage an awakening audience.
Glad you could join me.
Final Note: There is nothing wrong with recognizing yourself as a special snowflake. What could be more true? In this form, you are completely individual (with your own karmic path), yet eventually you will melt and return once more to ethereal connectedness with all other water droplets. Your true nature. Separateness was always an illusion. But you’re special nonetheless.
Categories
Love Your Narcissist
by K. Samways, 2020
Anyone who has suffered
at the hands of
a narcissist
will understand
its great benefits
Let me tell you
about the
kindest boss
I had
so many insecurities
had she
that easy to manipulate
was she
only she also would
Manipulate me
oh the game of the
narcissist
round and round
whisper whimper
hit the ground
She fed me lies and half-
truths, yes, but
also gave me
special public
opportunities
I’d be her plus one,
her pet
I looked good back then and
the leash was invisible,
You see
oh the game of the
narcissist
round and round
chains and whips
hit the ground
So it was my eye not hers
that caught some others
wooing community
members and benefactors
secret attendance
wallflower at times
but there, by her kindness
as her shadow
by her side
How dark and cold it was
oh the game of the
narcissist
round and round
ice trays crack cubes
hit the ground
Her kindness granted me
so much special aspect
special responsibility
not more than I could bear
but by then I
did not know
up from down
what could I bear?
it all seemed too much
So she gave me more
oh the game of the
narcissist
round and round
kindness smothers
hit the ground
I’d go into work and drag
my feet until someone
came in and my pert
presence in
reception was
the only light
to cut the tension in
the office
a palpable, tangible plight
She plunged with us
oh the game of the
narcissist
round and round
wearing grinding
hit the ground
Here’s another opportunity
public events committee
the ultimate opportunity
to display woman empowering
woman in public spaces
closed door meetings aside
She pushed me towards
a brighter future – again –
how kind! Although I admit
She could work on the delivery
oh the game of the
narcissist
round and round
push and pull
hit the ground
But back in office
worse than before
ensuring I’d quit maybe
make a scene something more
pushing prodding
poking digging
although the ignoring
was even worse – that’s how
they broke prisoners,
You know
oh the game of the
narcissist
round and round
lean in for kill
hit the ground
So right before she could
revoke the niceties
she tried to lend
to me
I snatched them
for keeps
and ran as far as I could go
not that far, it seems
our circles rubbing
Edges still
oh the game of the
narcissist
round and round
try to escape but
hit the ground
Okay I’m still not
entirely grateful
she told some she fired me
when I would have preferred
they heard tales of
my bravery in
facing the beast
feeling fire’s breath
and walking away head held high
And by choice
oh the game of the
narcissist
round and round
liar liar
hit the ground
Yet once more
to appreciate
the actions of before
the kind cruelty
she bestowed
truly empowering and emboldening
and my compassion ever
growing for beings
like her
For their need is greatest
oh the game of the
narcissist
round and round
eventually they
hit the ground
Anyone who has suffered
at the hands of
a narcissist
should understand
its great benefits
The Halfwit Writer 