Tag: relationships

Categories
Poetry questions

Where is the joy?

the tedium of days
    with their fits and starts
       a haunting melody
lacking rhythm
          lacking rhyme
       a humdrum routine
  safe, content, but lacking life

Where is the life?!

excuse me, for every so often
              I must exclaim
       there’s something pent up —
         they call it rage?
                      desperate yearning?
              I can’t explain!
          but it has to come out!
        how much can I take?
           (thankfully art is a good outlet)

now my prayer be heard by all
    I just want to meet a happy person!
        doesn’t have to be particularly
               handsome or tall
                   (not that that’s not nice)
    never mind lover! maybe friend?
       it’s a very very mad world
      and the time for being particular is near
      end
but we’re not there yet!
           how about a little happiness?
                                  I’m not some joker
                         ‘put-a-smile-on’-quack
                 just a halfwit out of whack
    who to some could be a little woker
                 (not gonna happen
                          you’ll never guess why)

so with all that exclaimed and said
I must admit what I want instead
is to keep my queen-sized empty bed
and lose the roommate I’m lucky to stand
but would much rather be alone each night
I am never so lonely – I’m always alright but

mixing the mind
         with the depressed masses
has brought invisible clouds
          to winter’s false sunny days
lacking warmth
     lacking love

it’s that time of year
        hawks swoop and call up above
       while this nest remains cluttered
        with dog fur of all things, poison
        what can I do but wait and pray?

        what can I do but appreciate
    these lucky opportunities for easy practice
    things were once difficult
           and could be hard again
      so upon which minds will you depend?
          (I hope the happy ones!!)

if the days grow long and tedious
simply rejoice and practice
there’s never need for sorrow, tears
when refuge in Dharma abounds
once more, rejoice!

let the ring go
      those who know will know

let go

let joy arise

Categories
Poetry

Another Bloody Craving (ABC)

(alternative title: The ABCs of Growing Up)

Thirst coming in clutch
comes on too strong
the energy’s too much
lasts far too long
                 yet never’s enough

I once yearned
for a spot of light
until I learned
some like to fight
                 such fortune earned

I bent backward
I yielded growth
I bent forward
I broke my oath,
                 agony endured

Fabricated not firm
appearance dreamlike
so in dream pain squirm
in fog we hike
                 confused we burn

One time, way back
I felt this way
so out of whack
the sky was gray
                 her love was lack

Now this heart resists
cracked and dejected
while slow time persists
this heart again rejected
                 knowing the risks

I don’t plan to push
of course, I’ll pray
I don’t plan to rush
as hasty visions fade away
                 you’ll catch me blush

At last to end on happy note
may my mind be clear
may my face emote
may I hold all beings dear
                 and refuge close
                 and may I be free

Categories
Poetry

clearwing

not good enough?
       you little moth
               drawn to my flame
fearing I’ll burn your wings

but I am not fire (your past)
        I am air (your future)
               a Tara,
                           wind element

you choose disbelief
       to break hearts, cause tears
& still, you deserve such clarity of mind,
       divine,

you little moth

you’re enough

Categories
Buddhism Poetry

The Wink

Why do you torture me?

Does your eye boast truth
or do mine bear fiction?
I write lies to soothe me to sleep
a samsaric slumber steeped in tales of attachment,
happiness served on a silver platter
just a taste and, absent of addiction,
I’ll be satisfied — just your touch
and I’ll not want more — a lie
like salt water quenching thirst —
only thirstier I grow for
— just your tongue lending sweet
nothings to an indiscriminate ear
incorrectly discriminating — just your
taste to tease unintentional senses
dependent upon such sour
senseless ignorance dependent upon
countless causes, rebirths, misunderstood
and non-existent selfs — but maybe still,
it’s just your self that will satisfy this self
& somehow, still, we will escape samsara
— a lie of attachment, a joke, a wink

Is that what you mean to give,
when you torture me?

Categories
Poetry

Lost

I lost your number
a long time ago
— right away

after the lock broke
it was clear
I couldn’t be trusted

how things have changed
and mistaken memory
makes you
bigger, then smaller than
you were, are

who are you now?
I wonder

I lost my privilege
to know

the you
grown in moments
now passed

Categories
Buddhism Love Letters Thirsty Thursday

Thank You | Letter 10

To my Ex,

Thank you.

You have given me much I will cherish for years to come. Nothing I can keep in a box under my bed. No pictures to burn. Gifts far greater – ones I will carry with me life to life, like my pure love for you.

Patience. 

Before I met you, it was rare to walk slowly through nature, and never would I think to name its parts. Waiting was a great torment. Sitting silent was near impossible. Then, you mixed your patient mind with mine.

Faith.

You challenged my beliefs constantly. A torture at the time, but such a gift to progress. This obstacle appeared to destroy our relationship, but served as a test I passed time and again. You helped me try each teaching until I had conviction in each one. I valued them more than temporary relationships. I would keep them at the cost of my life.

Love.

Though we did not know unconditional, we strove. I accepted love from you. And I found my happiness only in giving. For we can never take love for ourself from another. That will never cease suffering. Loving you has helped cease suffering. Loving all beings (even spiders) creates my happiness.

It is only in reflection that I can begin to understand that I was absolutely blessed by the Buddhas that my path be made meaningful and my travel swift. Thank you to Buddha, who appears as friend, family and foe to guide us from our misery.

If we can remember to apply the primary practice.

Thank you.

Love,
your Ex

Categories
Buddhism Love Letters Poetry Thirsty Thursday

Remember me? | Letter 9

Dear Karmic Potential,

Are we meeting again?
Have we met before?
Your appearance undoes me
but when I search
I cannot find me at all
nor can I find you

It’s like you’re in a different city
— certainly not here
and yet your closeness lingers
as though you are still near

Suddenly I am all the days
you choose to ignore
and I am the grasping
and I am the craving once more

Still, I cannot but hope you
also feel my presence
maybe yearn for my embrace
begging time be brief ‘tween now
and next you’ll see my face

I pray it be this lifetime
I pray delusion-free
Yet if I have to wait another ten
rounds to serve with you, I will

Love wishes only happiness
so that is all I wish for you

I know it’s all wrong
if ever samsara feels right
but this I am certain of, also,
we can, we will escape

Why not tonight?

Love,
A past and future partner in (escaping) crime

Categories
Poetry

Frankenstein

Was I truly a monster?

Having to beg for love crumbs
is ugly

I am not a villain anymore
I don’t steal scraps

And I don’t blame you

For reanimating my heart

When I lay as a corpse on the table

My virgin lips begging for it

Stitched to a rotting head

Jolted to life by your lightning touch

Addicted, attached to your light

Poisoned, angry when left in the dark

The literature you wrote warned others

Stay away from the beast
Science went wrong with this one

So alone I wait
for my doctor to return
with a cure

Not knowing
he got lost along the way

Following lamp light into the marsh
and voices into the mist:

Don’t go home. Play with us.

Is your happiness a monster?
Did you find your truth?

Categories
Poetry

Dog Man Grew Up With Cats

The dog boy grew up with cats
they told him he was a cat
spoke to him like a cat
groomed him as a cat
and even though he still became
Dog Man
this pack creature
is unceasingly drawn to felines
their foreplay familiar 
dogs something foreign and rarely
brought round for fun

Dog Man is sensitive and he longs
for a good belly rub
but kitties have dirty claws 
and would rather receive
their own scratch behind the ears
the pissing in a box thing?
not so clean – an illusion
but one puss in the box
is worth two dogs in the woods
so is spoken
so Dog Man clings
like a kitten to the curtains

Dog Man clings
and he won’t run with wolves
he barks with fear 
and he can’t let go