Tag: renunciation

Categories
Poetry

beginningless rebirths, abridged

you see me as a girl when
I have been your mother
you see me mother, after
I have been your child
you see me enemy after
I have been your friend
you see me a beginning after
I’ve been each and every end
only you don’t see the continuum
you don’t see what it’s for
you don’t see the “big picture”
you beg for common sense once more

you see me as a girl
you take me as a lover
you feel each pleasure new
and each pain rediscover
next you’ll meet me as your foe
and know my torture’s art
you’ll beg to be without me
while wishes ripen to never part
the cruelest joke of samsara
the wish-granter, genie, jewel
all worldly prayers do cometh true
with just timing making us the fool

you see me as a girl
radiant, free, and open
and you, overcome with envy,
how you wish to see me broken
by running toward temptation,
grasping at the self, and craving
we lose the possibility of salvation
with such constant misbehaving
how can we overcome our loathing
and refrain from touching skin?
for in heated hate-filled love embrace
I’ll remember you were once my twin

you see me as a girl
when I have been your mother
I have been your sister, father, uncle
yes, I have been your brother
I have been a loyal lab
and I a miser, cheat, and thief
I’ve rested in eternal peace
only to wake with new belief
seeing inner demons, outer
giving unending evil toments
with such cyclic suffering for all,
how can bodhichitta remain dormant?

you see me as a girl
you take me as a lover
you feel each raw sensation new
and rare laughter rediscover
how ’bout we call it quits
and cease identifying this mind
’cause ordinary doesn’t cut it
when extraordinary’s been defined
I don’t know about your view, but
mine says this pleasure garden’s rotting
my time here is running out
and my tell-tale heart is clotting

so don’t see me as a girl
goddamn it! – don’t take me as a lover
because incest is against the law
and I have been your mother
just as sure, you have been mine
some aeons or some years ago
for we’ve done all there is to do
in all the worlds there are to know
so let’s grow bored and say no more
and escape with little wits we’ve left
we’ve done it all … oh countless times before!
now let us create cause for happiness!

Categories
Poetry

Remain ordinary?

The earth movers are
moving, rolling, crawling,
pushing and prodding,
chewing and producing,
reforming earth, not new
a spherical cycle
we cannot seem to undo
because there’s no beginning
as if time isn’t true
no start to these effects
no one to lay cause-mic blame with —
              — Is there no first?

If an action is not performed
its result cannot be experienced
yet, we have results upon results
                     that we do not want
or right wishes ripen at wrong times —
  — How did we get so messed up?

Meeting instructions time and again
  only to turn to worldly things instead —

–What for?
     The status? The stress? The money? The dress? The food? The car? All the gold and the stars? The sun and the moon and that catchy tune? This silly girl? That handsome guy? To hunt the deer? To swat the fly? To fuck that guy? To steal that heart? To flaunt your glory? To meet and part? To taste the spoils? To lose at war? To break most promises? To endure and endure?

What for!

Is it everything you wanted to find?
Is it a wonder to know
                      it’s all from your mind?

the pain and the laughter,
       all the dreamlike appearance

the senses and delights
               the agony and fights

we hurt our own feelings
we stab our own backs
we rob our own purses
our own courage lacks

when will we learn
to break a silly curse
we need only three words
   –why do they hurt?

It’s my responsibility

No, not of this time
not of this place
not of this name
and not of this face

But causes created aeons ago
ripen around me, blow by hard blow
some happy, some sad
some angry, some blue
some maddening disasters
some friends I once knew
for so long without wisdom
I watched in horror, despair
             Oh! What can I do?

No better than an earth mover
moving, rolling, crawling,
fulfilling my own wishes,
pushing and prodding,
swallowing and producing,
making new dirt, not new
a spherical cycle
we cannot seem to undo
because there’s no beginning
as if time isn’t true
no start to these causes
that produce these effects
so with patient acceptance
I now practice with perfect intention
with a pure, faithful, trained mind
remembering dreamlike appearance
to see emptiness directly
                   with clear wisdom eyes

Categories
Buddhism Philosophy Poetry

determination

I am only a witness,
        transparent eye
a non judgemental mirror —
          or at least a mirror who keeps
          her judgments to herself

I am the nursery rhyme before it’s written,
        the angel before the fall
        the dream before the nightmare
        the ring before the call

I hear the future coming,
          still feel the distant past,
  see outcomes from our actions
              that for years & years will last

I weep for sad beginnings
            I laugh at mad hellos
  see insanity all around us
        and suffering only grow

I am ready to escape this
        ready to depart
        ejecting all attachment
        burning all my art

I have not one creation
          of which I am proud
  except those that come from virtue,
              those soundless,
              those I’ve vowed

I sow these seeds in silence
          for my words have caused much pain
          all contaminated actions
               seemingly in vain
          (* focus on intention *)

I hear the whistle blow,
          a hundred miles from home
  smell the fields of mountain thyme
            growing round the purple heather
  and still cannot decide
                if to stay or go

                        until I walk the streets
                see the suffering
                hear the cries
                smell the stink
                feel the terror
                taste the drink

then it all comes rushing back,
          each and every pleasure,
                    that I’ve had it all before
      —     it’s time to think!
                   I cannot do this anymore!
I won’t!

So with reliance, offering, requesting,
            my life I do lay down
                  only for something better
            more meaningful, profound

      with diligent, stable practice
              (which, finally, I’ve found)
              and compassionate, loving heart
              I fall upon the Bodhisattva’s ground

I bow before the new moon,
          and rising with the sun
  try to take things lightly,
  because all is mind and none is one

Categories
Poetry

way out within

there is a portal
escape route out
             no need to scream
             no need to shout

is it above us?
or is it below?
             it cannot be without
             it is within we go

and when we discover
the truth that lies therein
             that all is mind, is empty
             pure and free of sin

only happiness resides
in our pure, loving core
             only a kind, peaceful
             consciousness, forevermore

(the question is,
             do you want it?)

Categories
Buddhism Poetry

Action’s Clarity

If waiting is confusion
      I must take constant action
always moving, the Tim Kennedy way,
      making meaning of each moment
remembering each pain

How else will I wish to escape?
How else will I make effort to change?

A traveler bound for futures lives
      knows she does not rest
intention fills each moment,
      causes for future effects

Why not make them virtuous,
     choosing happiness instead?

We constantly plan our suffering
      as if carefully ripening its seed
whatever fruit or thorn befalls us,
      we first reach forth to blame

How will we become wiser
                 while prioritizing our fame?

How will we help others
                 while wallowing in our shame?

We should make meaning of our life
                short and precious and rare

We should grasp this opportunity
             instead of yielding to our fear

Will you rise to the occasion?
      Enjoy all moments as they pass?

Understanding true causes
       I just rejoice and laugh

Categories
Buddhism Poetry

the Runner

smart mouth, ignorant mind
quick to speak, quick to die
life too brief, running out of time
creating causes to ever find

   endless suffering

          why me?

fast talk, soft skin
feel without, see within
fast decisions, a life of sin
feel samsara hook you in

   with attachment

           why not me?

as I seek the highest highs
I learn the lowest lows
then suddenly sink lower
than I’d ever thought I’d go

   the lower realms

          not again

yet always I’m forgetting
the causes of my pain
making all escape attempts
nothing but in vain

   putting me to shame

          again

the blue of Mount Meru
reflects into our sky
all the flesh and bones
of all my lives gone by

     exceed its mass

         and still, again,
                 I try

Categories
Buddhism Poetry

Fragrant White Water Lily

Once you told me
if I was a flower I would be
a fragrant white water lily

I couldn’t help but feel pride
that such a thought did arise
in your less-than-poetic mind
about me

Now I see it was a sign

Like a beautiful lotus growing from the mud
I become strong, resilient and kind
Amidst cruel & non-virtuous crud

How you teach non-attachment
didn’t feel right but now I see how it’s wise

Maybe one day I’ll realize you were simply
my Spiritual Guide

Categories
Buddhism Philosophy Poetry

Consistently Mistaken

I thought when I received, I would be grateful.

I wasn’t.

I thought to be pursued would be fun, a real romp.

It wasn’t.

I thought to be beheld as beautiful could give me confidence, know my beauty.

It didn’t.

I thought to be loved to could open my heart, make me love.

It couldn’t.

I thought when tested, I would pass.

I didn’t.

“We will only engage in pure spiritual practice if we have definitely understood that we have a precious human life and we have to use it now. We can die today. It’s possible.”

Gen-la Kunsang, Kadampa Podcast

Categories
Buddhism Love Letters Poetry Thirsty Thursday

Remember me? | Letter 9

Dear Karmic Potential,

Are we meeting again?
Have we met before?
Your appearance undoes me
but when I search
I cannot find me at all
nor can I find you

It’s like you’re in a different city
— certainly not here
and yet your closeness lingers
as though you are still near

Suddenly I am all the days
you choose to ignore
and I am the grasping
and I am the craving once more

Still, I cannot but hope you
also feel my presence
maybe yearn for my embrace
begging time be brief ‘tween now
and next you’ll see my face

I pray it be this lifetime
I pray delusion-free
Yet if I have to wait another ten
rounds to serve with you, I will

Love wishes only happiness
so that is all I wish for you

I know it’s all wrong
if ever samsara feels right
but this I am certain of, also,
we can, we will escape

Why not tonight?

Love,
A past and future partner in (escaping) crime

Categories
Buddhism Love Letters Thirsty Thursday

Happy | Letter 8

To the Musician,

How can I count the ways
I have experienced joy
with you
already

How can I tell thee
the way you make me feel
when I know I have
created the causes

How can I share wisdom
when I am drowning
in samsara’s sea?

Still, you have helped
dispel the ignorance
of a thousand aeons,
a dreadful darkness,
with a single torch

How can I tell you
how happy I feel
how content I am
in the present moment
here and now
with you
while also planning
our escape

Because to
escape suffering
permanently
is my only wish
especially
with you

happy
beside me

Love, the Muse