What do you want?
I mean, honestly, hun –
can you give me a straight answer?
Can you admit yourself one?
You lurk, you stalk, you play,
you wish, you pray, you prey,
you feast your eyes on words
and dwell on ones you’ll never say
You start and then you stop
you rush in and you pull out
you dance around the subject
clearly consumed with pointless doubt
You lack a vestige of courage
you lack a vehicle for change
your shoes are worn down
your soles soggy with rain
You gave up too early
you found nearby bed
you used her wet hole
to distract your sick head
I’m sad for your heart
I’m sad for your soul
you don’t understand the mind
so you grasp, run, let go
You say “no contradiction”
and you call it the truth
but what’s that in practice?
you’re as naive now as in youth
I can say what you need
and how you’ll disappoint
but I really don’t care
after I’ve had half a joint
What keeps me up thinking
is the very subtle mind
inseparable from any other
your thoughts are easy to find
They flatten then bristle
they swing and they miss
they wish I’d disappear
then they thirst for a kiss
How you long to control them
and how you know there’s a way
but you refuse to believe it
holding hungry dismay
You’ve been bruised, ego-beaten
dashed down and ignored
you’ve been neglected, abused
now you pretend to be bored
Why not free your desire?
there’s no way heart burns out!
If your motive is kind
and you trash your false doubt
Why not shine so brightly
and offer your gift?
Unless you’re a liar
and your stories are thrift!
I’ve insatiable curiosity
that somehow finds the low
and hearing their sad stories
know there’s lower to go
Out of horror and love
and my growing compassion
my heart moves my mind
so this body takes action
I would never wait for one
when there are countless suffering
I get rid of selfish motivation
as my bodhichitta is developing
It’s been a long winter
I thought I’d run out of words
but the channeling won’t stop
your imagination’s absurd!
I’ve been poked and prodded
and nearly choked out
I’ve swelling in tendons
I’ve been hit below belt
There’s a demon in my window
as my gargoyle stands watch
but no fearing nor loathing
could upset this game of hopscotch
I’m winning, ever winning
ever happy, despite sad
ever dancing around obstacle
ever grinning, being mad
If you’ve been here a while
you’ll already know
I made firm decision
a long, long time ago
I’m not wishy-washy
I’m not subtle, nor vague
I’m taming the wildest mind
treating delusions as plague
You don’t know the evil
I’ve birthed and I’ve held
with which I would harm
without three poisons dispelled
But with pure moral discipline
there’s no panic, no lack
I have all the conditions
and mindfulness my back
In dependence upon Three
I’ll never give up
and in defence against you
I’m staying #PrayedUp
The Halfwit Writer 