It is tempting to allow
false flattery to ripen pride,
despite our knowledge
that it’s born from a lie
It is tempting to perform
false charity to improve
a meaningless reputation –
what rock of suffering moved?
Self-cherishing is our sickness
the mind of a sneaky bastard
cunningly leading us to evil business
until virtuous focus is mastered
I am a wild animal
a structure is like a cage
I do not feel free in imagination
there is no longing to belong
I feel imprisoned by this other vision
I feel the enclosure around me
there was no escape
I must escape
I was once wild
the habits are hard to shake
the imprints are deep-rooted
though only small seedlings at surface
I am ruled by fear and concern
I long to run, having never learned
I am waiting to be released
like an animal waits
forgetting I have hands
forgetting I have keys
grabs my attention
quick to hold fascination
locked in, samsara
I cannot complain when I know the cause
I cannot point finger as I’m to blame
there’s no why me with the reasons clear
beyond this time and place and name
I’ve been a stupid man countless times over
I’ve been a dumb boy, many times round
I’ve appeared the greater sex and his enjoyments
now I suffer for all his fun found
Now I’m cursed with monthly lashings
poisoned body and mind, inside and out
miserable in cycles uncontrollable
happy with confidence, then mean and full of doubt
Yet to my male lives I am indebted
for I still stand here, blessed and rare
female and peaceful, lacking will to war
while unattached for others I care
Though I live in pain’s dull embrace
thanks to the men in mirrors faced
Bernhard, Kafka, Thoreau, all others
they laid the plans, now I’ll escape
Having met Dharma in this lifetime
is my pure and saving grace
with faith and steadfastness I practice
to make some meaning of this place
A collection of skulls & such –
Death & Impermanence in ink & watercolour
I will definitely die. There is no way to prevent my body from finally decaying. Day by day, moment by moment, my life is slipping away. I have no idea when I will die; the time of death is completely uncertain. Many young people die before their parents, some die the moment they are born – there is no certainty in this world. Furthermore, there are so many causes of untimely death. The lives of many strong and healthy people are destroyed by accidents. There is no guarantee that I will not die today.
Geshe Kelsang Gyatso, The New Meditation Handbook
How could I forget the taste
of peanut butter and honey
with sliced banana, open-faced
a delightful sandwich, toasted, plain
another sign spring has arrived
the cravings change when March is come
now savouring thick-spread-stuck tongue
quite pleasant and filling, nutty delight
cheap and easy with purse strings tight
indulging breakfast, lunch and dinner
this woman’s sandwich is the winner
one also recognizes the time of year
in the twitterpated words they hear
the birds still dressed in clothes austere
mourning dove then robin, now killdeer
all sing the song that spring has sprung
while I enjoy my buttered tongue
I’m going to keep doing the right thing.
No matter what.
Hardship does not make me give up. Sorrow does not equate to despair.
I am not a coward.
I will feel the pain and move forward.
I am stable, humble, fine
I am patient, wise, and kind
I’ve spent the past six years
training my wandering, restless mind
so if I want conditions now
no external one I’ll find
it’s only by creating causes
that my samsaric rope unbinds
I’ve found this perfect life
with all the misery and strife
with all the teachers and the wisdom
and the mental faculty to listen
to instructions for escape
a perfect path that cannot wait
for only in this lifetime
am I guaranteed this fate
Now it seems I’m close
closer than e’er I’ve been before
and in contemplating emptiness
I’ll walk through freedom’s door
seeing a non affirming negative
I’ll realize truth once more
and by meditating fearlessly and purely
with Buddha’s blessings I implore
Even though I impute this I
and it these attributes ascribe
and unyielding to it relate
and with so many qualities inflate
false sense of self, let’s call it I
and for its suffering, I would die
soon I’ll gain freedom from this me
so silly to chase its own agony
Since I’ve stabilized my practice
becoming grateful and ever kind
I’ve ceased this ceaseless grasping
and all harm of body, speech and mind
so I can live to serve all beings
so all beings can be free
I’ve developed these good qualities
in dependence upon Three
Intelligence and wisdom are rare
uncommon
problems and suffering are abundant
common
When taking stock of your own burdens
count what beasts find refuge in your flock
find the sum of your denominator
this path is carved from jagged rock
There is a division to set you free
based in what is always true
you can’t spell it without “m” and “e”
but it doesn’t exist without “you”
And if you feel this you is everlasting
you might wish for sweet release
but there’s only one place you find escape
in the depths of your mind . . . already at peace
Such a subtle inner destination
difficult without faith to find
absorbed in gross cessation
a very subtle wind will move a very subtle mind
Only a child dreams that death’s jaws
should be an automatic portal
to a supposed better place – or even an end
It would
be, could be
wiser to pretend
we are already happy
with strength to contend
showing a better character
moral discipline and restraint
with bravery and heart not feint
an honour for which all others thirst
and a mind that always puts others first
To figure out what’s common
to the denominator of your life
you just have to find a wisdom mirror
and let go of mindmade strife
The quality we wish to see
is already present –
it’s just buried beneath
aeons of bad habits . . .
and misguided familiarity
divide it out
for there is no
/me
Suffering is addictive. 10.17.21
The Halfwit Writer