wisdom realizing emptiness – The Halfwit Writer

Close sometimes counts

I am stable, humble, fine
I am patient, wise, and kind
I’ve spent the past six years
training my wandering, restless mind
so if I want conditions now
no external one I’ll find
it’s only by creating causes
that my samsaric rope unbinds

I’ve found this perfect life
with all the misery and strife
with all the teachers and the wisdom
and the mental faculty to listen
to instructions for escape
a perfect path that cannot wait
for only in this lifetime
am I guaranteed this fate

Now it seems I’m close
closer than e’er I’ve been before
and through contemplating emptiness
I’ll walk through freedom’s door
seeing a non affirming negative
I’ll realize truth once more
and by meditating fearlessly and purely
with Buddha’s blessings I implore

Even though I impute this I
and it these attributes ascribe
and unyielding to it relate
and with so many qualities inflate
false sense of self, let’s call it I
and for its suffering, I would die
soon I’ll gain freedom from this me
so silly to chase its own agony

Since I’ve stabilized my practice
becoming grateful and ever kind
I’ve ceased this ceaseless grasping
and all harm of body, speech and mind
so I can live to serve all beings
so all beings can be free
I’ve developed these good qualities
in dependence upon Three

Remain ordinary?

The earth movers are
moving, rolling, crawling,
pushing and prodding,
chewing and producing,
reforming earth, not new
a spherical cycle
we cannot seem to undo
because there’s no beginning
as if time isn’t true
no start to these effects
no one to lay cause-mic blame with —
              — Is there no first?

If an action is not performed
its result cannot be experienced
yet, we have results upon results
                     that we do not want
or right wishes ripen at wrong times —
— How did we get so messed up?

Meeting instructions time and again
only to turn to worldly things instead —

–What for?
     The status? The stress? The money? The dress? The food? The car? All the gold and the stars? The sun and the moon and that catchy tune? This silly girl? That handsome guy? To hunt the deer? To swat the fly? To fuck that guy? To steal that heart? To flaunt your glory? To meet and part? To taste the spoils? To lose at war? To break most promises? To endure and endure?

What for!

Is it everything you wanted to find?
Is it a wonder to know
                      it’s all from your mind?

the pain and the laughter,
       all the dreamlike appearance

the senses and delights
               the agony and fights

we hurt our own feelings
we stab our own backs
we rob our own purses
our own courage lacks

when will we learn
to break a silly curse
we need only three words
   –why do they hurt?

It’s my responsibility

No, not of this time
not of this place
not of this name
and not of this face

But causes created aeons ago
ripen around me, blow by hard blow
some happy, some sad
some angry, some blue
some maddening disasters
some friends I once knew
for so long without wisdom
I watched in horror, despair
             Oh! What can I do?

No better than an earth mover
moving, rolling, crawling,
fulfilling my own wishes,
pushing and prodding,
swallowing and producing,
making new dirt, not new
a spherical cycle
we cannot seem to undo
because there’s no beginning
as if time isn’t true
no start to these causes
that produce these effects
so with patient acceptance
I now practice with perfect intention
with a pure, faithful, trained mind
remembering dreamlike appearance
to see emptiness directly
                   with clear wisdom eyes