Tag: writing

Categories
Poetry

divination

I am the speaker of the poem
     divine entity
            beauty, grace
      flowing robes and lovely face
   sent from heaven unto this place
pure imagination
     I am water streaming,
   a silent river, sans creepy songs
absent dark tunnels
I, a speaker, fantasy
I, fucking magical
I, ever unseparate from an I
    a true personality
        untrue
glistening, golden, unafraid
       tattooed
cling and clung and am clinging to
       lacking inherent-existence-goo
       a samsaric stew
       a real fuck-you
I, a speaker, falsely accused
       lacking permanent subsistence
       a temporary view
       constantly made anew
I, changing perspective
         a bit see-through
         emptiness-clue
         with good ideas I then undo
I, ever introspective
         meditative
         on the swift escape route out
         I’m wishing you’ll come to
I, the speaker of this poem
          invention imagining the spoken you
    inception in the meta sense
        write it in the present tense
          I haven’t really any plans
     except to collapse into this poem
   when your eyes are diverted
to some other interest, next deserted
from whose side do I exist?
I, the speaker of this poem?
        divine entity
beautiful, strong
                  stunning, intelligent
             rarely wrong
         who from your mind
             came    and soon     
                  from your mind
                                           gone

Categories
Poetry

objectification

(alternative title: Self-Assessment)

I think my leg would make a nice lamp
   soft, supple, curved, and round

a good squeeeeeeze

if you look me up from down
   squish in the right place –
        and in the wrong
in front, a bright and lumpy face
   from behind, like every other PAWG
near-perfect ass – not too phat in size
   nicely shaped when I fold in half
        showing off some thick-ass thighs
   and big-ass ribs
an hour glass shape
   with small-ass tits
        deceiving, yes
        disappointing, almost entirely
   but most aren’t interested
in being surprised or disappointed
and so I’m left here unanointed
unbaptized but virginal – ah! a wish!
almost believable, but deceitful kiss
      when every swing returns a miss
except for the three, a perfect strike-out
who pitched to me? and filled me with doubt?

I think my arm would make a nice branch
   muscular, freckled, smooth, and strong

nice to tooooooouch

to whom does it belong?
   what soul could search and find
        a truly existent body
   independent of a truly existent mind?

no one!

   could it be a limb to build a nest?
 could it be a place of eternal rest?
could these arms wrap you up
 and hold you firm?
   or tickle-torture until you squirm?

 and would you understand
such impermanent nature?
or is your reliance political,
 predisposed to legislature?

squeeeeeeze instead

evaluate

and don’t forget
   your mind creates

and ever empties your plate
   but also fills you up

objectify this human creation
   dismantle parts with imagination
      for the whole is empty but of name
   and our mind is non-separate
we’re almost the same

 let last words be of virtue, love
      a wish for other’s happiness
and though I fit you like a glove
we play this silly game of chess
              you read these words,
            you leave them here,
            we’re left confused
           filled up with fear

       and then I pray and dance about
and use this body, to move, to shout
        and once again I live so free
   to end all fears and misery
all I’ve got’s one disbelief
        – how could it be only me?

Categories
Poetry questions

Where is the joy?

the tedium of days
    with their fits and starts
       a haunting melody
lacking rhythm
          lacking rhyme
       a humdrum routine
  safe, content, but lacking life

Where is the life?!

excuse me, for every so often
              I must exclaim
       there’s something pent up —
         they call it rage?
                      desperate yearning?
              I can’t explain!
          but it has to come out!
        how much can I take?
           (thankfully art is a good outlet)

now my prayer be heard by all
    I just want to meet a happy person!
        doesn’t have to be particularly
               handsome or tall
                   (not that that’s not nice)
    never mind lover! maybe friend?
       it’s a very very mad world
      and the time for being particular is near
      end
but we’re not there yet!
           how about a little happiness?
                                  I’m not some joker
                         ‘put-a-smile-on’-quack
                 just a halfwit out of whack
    who to some could be a little woker
                 (not gonna happen
                          you’ll never guess why)

so with all that exclaimed and said
I must admit what I want instead
is to keep my queen-sized empty bed
and lose the roommate I’m lucky to stand
but would much rather be alone each night
I am never so lonely – I’m always alright but

mixing the mind
         with the depressed masses
has brought invisible clouds
          to winter’s false sunny days
lacking warmth
     lacking love

it’s that time of year
        hawks swoop and call up above
       while this nest remains cluttered
        with dog fur of all things, poison
        what can I do but wait and pray?

        what can I do but appreciate
    these lucky opportunities for easy practice
    things were once difficult
           and could be hard again
      so upon which minds will you depend?
          (I hope the happy ones!!)

if the days grow long and tedious
simply rejoice and practice
there’s never need for sorrow, tears
when refuge in Dharma abounds
once more, rejoice!

let the ring go
      those who know will know

let go

let joy arise

Categories
Poetry

with tact

needle my heart
thread me with hurt
keep me just alive

feel the cold anger
turn to hot sorrow
as I fight to survive

pull back bitten nails
pin me with pain
and pleasure derive

it’s torturer’s art
to keep us apart
and this love deprive

Categories
Poetry

I am

I am not
       a shadow of the past

a constant reminder,
       the feeling, sound, the smell,
only a bit kinder
          still capable of perfect hell

how could it be
       an appearance keen
hair a mess and eyes uncanny
       feels like something that should have been

left in yesterday
       so why should it appear
         it couldn’t then stay
             yet the similarity’s now here

I cannot be a shadow

       I am solid, tangible

taste me
       don’t waste me

fated to meet often
         fated to part again

please me
       don’t tease me

fated to laugh together
         fated to get better

keep me
       don’t creep me

fated to fear each other
       fated to love some other?

I cannot be a shadow

       I produce sound, reflect light
I am more than imagination
                                    and yet,

no more than mind
still too kind
fuck that noise!
you have no idea
until the pedestal falls
and it always gets knocked over
amidst the crimson & clover
tracking texts, relentless calls
you have no idea
distrust that poise
I mean, no one’s that kind

I cannot be a shadow

except of a doubt
to ponder and wonder
what’s she about
of course, lacking solid evidence
the conclusion is drawn
at least a vestige
at times a reflection pool, drink
but rarely so calm, that image manifests least
marshmallow fluff, and not serious stuff
ephemeral, that’s for sure
immaterial and yet a painted city girl
because it’s a capitalist material world
she is a shade, phantomed, reduced
for that is what our minds will do:
                   concoct and reduce

and so
              I am
though mostly
              I am not
while this grasping persists
                           truth resists
and my reality is rot
        mind-made, illusion-caught
please stop!
            and see
                    the light in me
    though with delusions fraught
            and sad!
how sorrowful and absent glad!

the shocks are shot
       stability knocked out
as if by a naga-induced wave
  such a close shave!
        moments of despair
        threatening to take a life away
        only through blessings can one remain
        believe it or not
please stop!
            and try to see
this element of humanity
made of five elements, impure
air, water, space, earth and fire

try me
       don’t buy me

fated to come home
       yet still fated to roam

kiss me
       don’t miss me

fated to touch hearts
       fated to loathe parts

adore me
       don’t ignore me

fated to be shaken
       please let us awaken

I am not a shadow of the past

perhaps I am an apparition of the future
       if I were anything at all

but what am I?

moment by moment
       who am I?

if I am anyone at all

Categories
Love Letters Poetry Thirsty Thursday

Past Life Vision | Letter 11

Dear Past Life Connection,

Don’t get stuck in your head
don’t think
            I’d be better off instead…
don’t let the demons get to you
don’t think it’s better if it’s new

I know it doesn’t seem so right
when things get hard & a little tight
but I think good’s worth a little fight
after this dark comes a lot of light
                           (I promise)

All that I could wish for you
is a cease of suffering, aches, and flu
this love, the wish for happiness so true
and the desire for such joy to remain
with fearlessness, absent any pain
and a healthy, happy, stable mind
a loving heart and neighbours kind

Don’t despair, my humble friend
for we’re at beginning, not the end
do not worry, do not hasten
it’s only our drive, our pulses racing

Let’s enjoy the lust, the draw, the pull
let’s unfasten our will, glass half full
of wisdom, we wish, we want to escape
this prison, ordinary existence, red tape

Somewhere between sex and fear
this passion lies
yet we’re too courageous
so we thrive
against all odds, mistakenly alone
staring reluctantly at our phones
aghast, embarrassed
a hint of cowardice
               — shit

Don’t get stuck in your head
we’re better off instead
to enjoy this dance of life
embracing opportunity with strife

I know it doesn’t seem so right
that it should be left to you
but in the interest of tradition
I encourage thou come through

Don’t despair, my falling friend
it’s just the beginning, follow the thread
roll the dice, don’t flip the car
please remember who you really are

It’s worth it
                 (I promise)

Love,
a distant past lover

Categories
Poetry

lack of need

as in neurochemical warfare
this lack of need arises
I broadcast completeness
even as you redial your radius

do my cells respond differently
on this higher plane of functioning?
am I intimidating in this energy?
here, let me mix my mind with thee

let my coherent electromagnetic field
press through yours, transform the rooms
of your psychic home as I enter, invited
though I lack the vampirism you once desired

I do not fill voids, nor create them
I am expansion, a field of possibility
a humble being, deferential
do I operate in abundance?
                              yes! I do
do I create your potential?
                              no! you do

have I stepped into my power?
ever saying yes, ever saying no,
ever acknowledging limitless maybe sos,
feel my field around you grow
let it draw you in, ebb, flow
why resist?
           it is not your neediness
this attraction, enchanting pull
it’s purpose and purposeful
in this quantum entanglement,
                          there is always
fresh opportunity for plentitude
independent growth
                creation of abundance
with virtuous oath
        see this force of nature and rejoice!
rise to your own highest potential!

no one is responsible for me but me
there is no one for whom I lust or need
a statue of such purity
in body, mind, and speech is she
there is no one to save inside of me
don’t say that would threaten thee
for only strength could be my key

and please do not pretend to be
an interference pattern
to escape the thought of me
     and rocket off to Saturn
I do not plan to chase or run
for that is never any fun

I have no need for satisfaction
of temporary yearnings
I find kindness, love, and patience
offer far greater learnings

and yet!
     of course if proffered
it certainly would have me hot
                      not bothered

you want results?
just create causes
that’s what I do!
I show them the receipts
but keep my plans secret too

opt for resilience
growth and independence
never in childishness
    except in play, harming none!
       so plan to endure my completeness
                             and come undone!

our mission is not to fill holes or voids
       or other tedious contract work
but rather the happiness and joy
                        of sexy contact perks

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

never clingy, helpless nor hungry
never confusing love and greed
and still if you were simply wondering
I’m definitely a different breed
ever wishing to be free

and still not freed
from this lack of need

Categories
Dreams Music Playlist Poetry

Please Don’t | A Playlist Poem

Please Don’t Make Me Worse
A Poem in 50 Songs

Runtime: 3h 8min

It won’t be long now
before you make me worse
we work
                 with young blood
helicopter hearts
                         too close
dancing tango del fuego
                       imagining …
when your heart stops beating
you watch my booty swing
 which has you thinking nasty things
like  Voy a tocarte toa’

and to me?
       you’re just a dream
                 one I contemplate all night
es un secreto que no lo dire
                          with a brimful of asha
I yield to this moment of surrender
                  awake, you’re a daydream
    & I admit it’s been a long time
since I’ve felt a higher devotion
   since I’ve felt sunshine on my skin
since I’ve been ready to fall
right here, right now
           everything changed

Not sure if I’ve got a fever
             or if I’ve got a man on my mind
but surely love is the drug
                                to make me feel fine
not black coffee and cigarettes
      now is not the time to hasten death

I always knew
              how to get it faster
in this state of flux
                        but in the end
              grandpa’s groove
like Cobrastyle
    is the bad touch

If you’ve ever wondered
       how to be a heartbreaker like me
don’t bother –
                                 the halo I wear
is just a dream
              I’m sunny and sweet,
                                       a candy girl
round like the moon
               lonely too, so please,
                     my darling be home soon

Don’t let me be your bad habit
                        (or make you worse)

gun to my head
                          I admit I’m overkill
    wondering if you’ll survive a wolf like me
with dread, let’s dance to joy division
            when all my heroes are tired, I say
I wanna dance with somebody like you instead

Categories
Poetry Thirsty Thursday

Thirsty Thursday | Spent

   it’s early still & even though
         I woke up not too long ago

I am spent

         sometimes

you gotta turn the crank
        before you leave (early work)
so you don’t bathroom yank
              like some horny pervert jerk

         not me!

I am spent

so now I go to refill my wallet
   now on empty, whatever you call it
hours worked for few cents
   cuz’ soon I’ll have to pay the rent
still grateful for the place I live
   still grateful for opportunity to give
even though it came to this
    little morning routine grift
it’s only day’s beginning
    my arm’s tired, face is grinning

and I am spent

Categories
Buddhism Dreams Poetry

cursed & okay

could it be worth the pain?
sure it could hurt (does hurt)
but it always can! (and will!)
samsara’s blessing, and its curse!

there’s always suffering
it’s always there
agony & heartache
these endless cares

unfulfilled wishes
we ain’t some dying breed
we’ve been wishing and craving
burning with need

since beginningless time
(that’s time without beginning)
we’ve been lost in self-grasping
our delusions are winning

then enter love, a virtue
not some object of wanting
but a wish for your happiness
not taking, not haunting

like once, a vampire sucked
my energy, my time, my luck
even when I yearned to fuck
he made me feel yuck, yuck, yuck

no more! I just yearn to give
I wish to love, to laugh to live
and even though I know it hurts
I just think it could be worse

so I’m willing to try and bear such pain
I’m even willing to go insane
(okay, never mind…I’m already there)
and I really wish I didn’t care!

but it seems I don’t have a choice
and I have a lot of choices –
normally – a lot of control
not over external matters of course…

but in this dream world,
control over matters of mind
apparently not matters of the heart
but definitely matters when being kind

alright I want to wrap this up
like a Christmas gift, my loving cup
a trophy that I wish to offer
filled with jewels as if a coffer

and yet, I awaken from the dream
to grasp at less than air between
this reality, mind-made, of you, of me
and now give up the fantasy

because it’s never worth the pain
it’s never worth the endless grasping
it’s never worth insanity
or the infinite, familiar clasping

and on this evening drear and gloomy
under clouds all grey and doomy
I curse my love life, I confess to crime
I accept the loss, and I’ll do the time