Categories
Buddhism Poetry

Second Disappointment

You search for conventional cause
   but come up empty handed
not quite the emptiness you seek
   because the suffering is still there
the realness of a wound laid bare

and why not rub salt in it —
we’re out of control anyway

a disappointing dream, yes, sore
   red, raw,       sinewy once more
the band aid won’t stick
   and the solitary peace that binds,
too, won’t stick in spite of such mess

Shariputra’s demon will not
   prevent my efforts as a spiritual warrior
even if injured once more

after all, we’re all lunatics in
   the madhouse of samsara
          arrogant prisoner
        trapped
hard to believe it’s not permanent
          until we move beyond
                           conventional cause

you want to be angry,
                           but on what authority?

what justification could you have
                           for such delusion?

Thinking of virtue, compassion and love
             -how do you forget love?
the simple wish for others to be happy

I am so sorry for you that you
        do not know this feeling

a flame carried for all living beings
despite my own suffering
     ‘cause that’s life

and what say you to that?
that in a moment of weakness
                we see it all
and having been forsaken, both,
             and both put through hell
             and failing miserably
to the lower realms we could descend
              if this silly hatred doesn’t end

it’s temporary anyway

do you resist?

Categories
Buddhism Poetry

Simple Wisdom

In the Unforgetting World, attachment is inevitable
so my simple wisdom is this:

Attachment will rise
and as a wish fulfilled, it will fall

Your mind creates a story
you must see it all

If you see the tall tale clearly
and Dharma you recall,

Just apply a simple virtue
then, with love, enjoy it all

Categories
Buddhism Good Fortune Poetry

Feeling Joyful

Here and now, I finally know
A result, born from
Past cause – a virtuous one – and
Present causes making future effects
Yes, this is the source of my

Happiness!

Categories
Buddhism Poetry

Time Tempts Belief

hard to believe
Time, hardly passed
          and a mark, already here
nearly two years
          and a different mind
has appeared, so many times over

nearly two years ago
you claimed me
unsteady, unstable,
          toxic and cold
now, not two years passed
and I’m too goddamned
          stable and heart-of-gold fast,
too nice for any old soul
          how goddamned depressing
                    for this romantic dolt

time after time, rejected
for incredible conventional reason
understanding it’s karmic creation
                    — nothing personal of course
while feeling deeply personal
a reality of my own making
just the swiftest vehicle
                    my own preference for
navigating Niagara roads

still hard to accept sometimes
          it’s the life I needed, I chose
thank you, my kind Spiritual Guide,
for ripening such conditions —
from which I could never hide
and one day will appreciate
          more than my present self knows

Categories
Buddhism Dreams Poetry

Temporary Illusion-like Appearance

          Open your mind, heart
          to feel what you feel, name it

your Spiritual Guide whispers to you
as a wave that laps the sandy shore, gently
receding, absent whitecaps

          Name what you feel
          be not afraid
          for what rises will fall
          and what fear have we
          of what is not permanent,
          never mind what we cannot name?
          What we cannot name does not exist,
          so what is it?

and you go within,
as instructed for
within is all there is
when there is
no out there out there

and you feel

disappointment
red, raw, and sinewy
funnily, sadly, and sorely
familiar, rubbed, worn and
blistered, in risk of rot
if you let it fester like
resentment –
                    you can’t
I was here first          your way
in or out of this one

it’s not yours, except
you lay claim to its
disappointment
as though it could have been
if it could have it would have
and it didn’t so it won’t

and you think

acceptance
the sweetest fruit,
sometimes the heaviest to bear
laid at your feet as you risk despair
only having to pick it up, lift it
with legs of wisdom,
but no –
                    I chose
to disappoint       myself

yet, hope

hope is here too
blossoming as a new bud
for disappointment
could not create sorrow
where love and compassion
had already taken root –
my mind protected by a gate of
incredible goodness, the only pleasure
I’ll happily increase in samsara’s garden
where running never yields escape
for the iron fence is the nature
of the mind – presently misunderstood

so hope,

hope that yields to faith
is what transforms my dream
because I must believe that
change is possible, is real
to make progress, effort, heal
I trust my Spiritual Guide’s instructions
for I put them to the test
and when hope transformed to purest
Faith, I see they are the best
and still my foolish mind cannot
afford to rest

because I was the mind of
unnecessary disappointment today
the utmost waste of breath
when each and every thing that’s ripened
has been for my swift path’s benefit
          so this too I will transform
and birth love so great it shall
become the norm, even if time be brief
we have so little to work with,
yet there’s so much we can achieve
if we hold correct belief

so, still I see the disappointment
my mind claims as mine – though truly
I could do without, here, add to that list
my deluded doubt
                    I know my happiness doesn’t lie here,
and still I mourn a temporary loss –
                    so instead, I donate
these mistaken minds to the cause,
the cause of the effect, the only one
I wish to possess, the greatest mind
of precious Enlightenment

(for others’ benefit, may I forever cease
these horrible, painful minds of suffering)

Categories
Buddhism Poetry

Action’s Clarity

If waiting is confusion
      I must take constant action
always moving, the Tim Kennedy way,
      making meaning of each moment
remembering each pain

How else will I wish to escape?
How else will I make effort to change?

A traveler bound for futures lives
      knows she does not rest
intention fills each moment,
      causes for future effects

Why not make them virtuous,
     choosing happiness instead?

We constantly plan our suffering
      as if carefully ripening its seed
whatever fruit or thorn befalls us,
      we first reach forth to blame

How will we become wiser
                 while prioritizing our fame?

How will we help others
                 while wallowing in our shame?

We should make meaning of our life
                short and precious and rare

We should grasp this opportunity
             instead of yielding to our fear

Will you rise to the occasion?
      Enjoy all moments as they pass?

Understanding true causes
       I just rejoice and laugh

Categories
Buddhism Poetry

the Runner

smart mouth, ignorant mind
quick to speak, quick to die
life too brief, running out of time
creating causes to ever find

   endless suffering

          why me?

fast talk, soft skin
feel without, see within
fast decisions, a life of sin
feel samsara hook you in

   with attachment

           why not me?

as I seek the highest highs
I learn the lowest lows
then suddenly sink lower
than I’d ever thought I’d go

   the lower realms

          not again

yet always I’m forgetting
the causes of my pain
making all escape attempts
nothing but in vain

   putting me to shame

          again

the blue of Mount Meru
reflects into our sky
all the flesh and bones
of all my lives gone by

     exceed its mass

         and still, again,
                 I try

Categories
Buddhism Poetry

The Unforgetting World

We live in the Unforgetting World

Unforgetting

You hear the word
you ask what it means

A man in a dress tells you it means
we never forget our attachments

What’s an attachment, you wonder
as your background in sales leads you to believe
it’s an item you attach to your primary sale
in essence, you should upsell three attachments
with each cell phone (case, cable, warranty)

There are no guarantees,
the man in the robes says
except that you won’t forget
your attachments

You learn:

Attachment is the mind that exaggerates
the positive qualities of an object
(attachment loves ignoring red flags)
attachment spins a deceitful fairy tale:
it claims the object is the source of your happiness

And we believe this tall tale
despite all contradicting evidence
we love to ignore evidence
when it does not corroborate our stories

You walk away

You begin to forget
what the wise man said
almost immediately

You think:

I am forgetting
I must live in the forgetting world
I have forgotten what I ate for breakfast
I have forgotten what I did yesterday
god only knows what I did last month

I only remember things I’ve labelled special
I only remember what I’ve done
in accordance with its repetition

When you ask me who I love,
I say friends and family
because they are familiar, and the answer
is engraved on our hearts over lifetimes, infinite

I have forgotten almost everything about my life
who I was, who I’ve been, the characters I’ve played
and the friends I used to have

All I have is the present
and if I think about what I can remember
at any given moment

it is my attachments

It seems it is the only thing
I can remember

Like some sick joke on our weak human minds
that a mental factor could purport such wicked lies
and how could we not remember that
we’ve fallen into such traps before!?
How can we keep forgetting
we are betrayed forevermore?

Until the cycle, the pattern ends
until disrupted, samsara bends
and finally breaks

You remember the man,
in the dress, in the robes
he gave you a liberating gift
an opportunity to see the truth

By seeing differently and remembering
I am ever unforgetting


The Unforgetting World (podcast)

Categories
Buddhism Poetry

Somewhere an Indestructible Heart

Often I find myself liking something
or labeling an experience as pleasant
for the enjoyment of making a kind
connection with another, a friend

We yearn for that connection
with another soul out there, out there
separate and halved like an apple, pear
fruit plucked unripe from the tree
while a love fell too soon
from her own broken branch —
will they rot together in the after?
They will rot in this life nonetheless

We strive for connection
by rearranging external circumstances
just so, so we can reach out
touch another, their heart, their skin
we yearn to touch another’s
separate skin, slick and spoiled, soft
so soft and external as smells and sounds
of summertime’s sadness, smooth as
Regina Spektor’s Russian indie blues

We say to our lonely, ignorant selves
it just couldn’t be my vast mind,
ocean-like and empty,
as all phenomena which appear
from this root mind, mixed with
all sentient beings, and Buddhas

Knowing this! while knowing this
and believing this, part-heartedly,
I gather the search party — a fellowship
on a journey to happiness — ever-forgetting
the story of the ring was this:

Goodness is in all men, all beings.

The ring — rather, the desire for the ring corrupted the hearts of men, and the hearts of other beings. In an attempt to attain this dark power, unthinkable negative actions were committed in unimaginable numbers which led to the destruction of peaceful existence, threatening to pitch everyone into the hellish suffering of Mordor’s merciless rule.

The protagonist’s goals never encompassed creating goodness — that already exists within all men. The goal was rather to overcome evil, to strive to be virtuous and honorable, to protect good at all costs. Because it is the right thing to do and yields the best results for other beings, beings we love.

The goal is to sacrifice the individual self that cannot attain happiness alone (and that will eventually steal happiness from others). The goal is to simply destroy the evil within.

When evil is destroyed, all that is left is good.

Knowing this! while knowing this
and believing this whole-heartedly
I change my external actions so
I cease grasping at the imagination
of my dreamlike reality and instead
create the internal causes to
evolve my mind completely,
to experience the truth directly
and to help all living beings in turn
completely inseparable from me
at my invincible heart

Categories
Buddhism Photography Saturday Expressions

Words haven’t been invented yet | Session 14

I sit
in what should be peace
I have a mostly happy mind and yet
not knowing how to feel
amongst constant mistaken discrimination
I stare longingly into the sky
cold press of flat rusted metal bars
under my calves
lukewarm Bengal Spice on my tongue
splashed on my knee
messy me

dark periwinkle birds, raptors
highlighted in pink and gold
dance and dive, painted as clouds
across the sky
part of me wants to cry
and that’s the seeds of delusions for you

because in reality
my mind is peaceful and content
and I have no problems

Oh! How I long for a problem!

so my mind searches and searches
and it detects a sadness that was only a seedling
and I tendered the seed of sadness until
now I could pluck at any time a flower
with each its own story of sorrow
and right now my mine is one of loneliness
the most stupid delusion of all because,
rooted in self-grasping ignorance,
it pushes me toward attachment along
a line of inappropriate attention
here now I’m hooked
on something I’ve never known, never seen
another unfulfilled desire has its evil hold on me
in another I cannot find, I can’t foresee
here I’m hooked
on suffering – making a terrifying joke
out of another precious lifetime

so while I sit and wish and wait
on Dharma I will meditate
knowing with blessings karma’s Fates
will be only kind
I dedicate my merit
feel sad, feel compassion
and with only bliss now cry