Categories
Music Poetry Saturday Expressions Video

In My Mind | Session 15

Lately I’ve been back in the forest, capturing a fraction of my experiences. Here is glimpse of my visions that demanded to be expressed to the music of CLANN. See the Youtube channel for more.

May your Saturday be filled with love, joy and expression!


In my mind

though light will rise,
first darkness falls
at the faerie court
they see it all

understanding should not
be confused with power
in the deathless state
we fearlessly devour

delusions


Music: “The Faerie Court (Under Sun)” by CLANN
Video & Editing: K. Samways

Categories
Buddhism Poetry

the Runner

smart mouth, ignorant mind
quick to speak, quick to die
life too brief, running out of time
creating causes to ever find

   endless suffering

          why me?

fast talk, soft skin
feel without, see within
fast decisions, a life of sin
feel samsara hook you in

   with attachment

           why not me?

as I seek the highest highs
I learn the lowest lows
then suddenly sink lower
than I’d ever thought I’d go

   the lower realms

          not again

yet always I’m forgetting
the causes of my pain
making all escape attempts
nothing but in vain

   putting me to shame

          again

the blue of Mount Meru
reflects into our sky
all the flesh and bones
of all my lives gone by

     exceed its mass

         and still, again,
                 I try

Categories
Poetry Thirsty Thursday Video

Thirsty for Nature | V2

what need have I
for touch of yours
when ‘cross my skin
this water pours

absorbed in icy creek
or embraced by steamy tub
I don’t miss your hands
when sultry bubbles rub

breezy leaves float gently down
to lucious forest floor below
to the music of nature, sensuous sound
I meditate and let my wisdom grow


Music: “Drippin” by SaQi, WORTH, & The Human Experience
Video & Editing: K. Samways

Categories
Poetry

Waiting’s Confusion

I wait for peace, but it does not come.
I throw myself into old enjoyments,
searching for happiness, but finding none

I am desperate, not a wise guy
so I’m never comprehending why
ever turning a blind eye to the truth

a truth delivered directly to my hands
and firmly ignored, as I close and lock
freedom’s door, I choose confusion

                          did I choose my slavery?
and now I wonder how the children cry
why me?

Categories
Dreams Poetry Video

A Strange Feeling | V1

something there
and something not
something cold
and something hot

a fingernail stroked down your back
a moldy sandwich in your pack
enough of this, it’s time to go
it’s all a dream, I thought you’d know


Music: “Caves” by CLANN
Video & Editing: K. Samways

Categories
Poetry

Even You

I always wanted the best for you
that’s kind of why I wished you knew
what you wanted in life, mostly
and, you know, kind of who you’d like to be
maybe one or two simple goals
a job, career — a commitment-phobe
is what I got instead
with stress and anxiety round
his balding head, and don’t get me started
on the gluten allergy

okay, I’ll try not to make it personal –

as a bodhisattva, with bodhichitta
I now pray
for each and every being to be happy
each and every day
for all suffering to be gone
for even you to get your fill
for not one enemy I claim
not one ounce of ill will remains

I hope you’re happy on your path
I hope you’re surrounded with love and laughs
I haven’t left a bit of wrath
to blame anything on you
even when I wanted to
instead I saw the good you grew
in me and many others

despite the bumpy, gritty roads
calves in ditches and girl scout notes
the ups and downs and round and rounds
and endless suffering,
I’d choose it all again —
if I don’t escape this life
we’re bound to repeat that goddam strife
because we couldn’t close the loop
our destiny will be to regroup

unless one of us is liberated,
one of us is freed
although I wish it would be you
I must know it will be me

if what I see in you,
is merely a mirror of myself
a bloody tormented soul
I’ve now left upon the shelf
a chrysalis ripped apart
the snakeskin that I shed
unlike losing hair upon your head,
intentional,
even you remember intention
maybe you even have it now

I believe we all can change

I’m doing it somehow

all beings will destroy delusions
all virtue will ensue
all beings become Buddhas

even me
even you

Categories
Poetry

Obscure Escape

I

I cannot find the quiet
I cannot drive far enough away
I cannot abide in place
I cannot fight the fray
I cannot find the space
I cannot prance nor play
     I am held within a cage,
          a dream that will not fade away

I cannot find a peace
I cannot dwell in lonely caves
I cannot energy release
I cannot ride the waves
I cannot tame my inner beast
I cannot for patience save
     although I know this is a dream,
          I struggle to be brave

I cannot find the silence,
I cannot fight my demons off
I cannot give up hope
I cannot be still with worries fraught!
I cannot skate this slippery slope
I cannot miss my shot
     if in samsara I can’t cope,
          then escape I keenly plot

I cannot give up now
though many challenges I face
I cannot give up now
the pain grows stronger every day
I cannot give up now
because I’m closer yet than e’er before
     I cannot give up the path,
          I can bear suffering no more!

II

I regret all my bad actions
that have led me to this point
I can hardly fathom how
I caused such a fruitless plight
the minds I held divide and fraction
now with familiarity I fight
     aeons of evil habits
          will see their last midnight

I rely upon all beings
to train my mind to right
I rely upon all Buddhas
to correct my mistaken sight
I apply opponent action
best temporary relief
     I make a sincere promise
          to keep delusions brief

I cannot deny the karma
that has brought me to this place
I cannot ignore the causes
turning to virtue, my only grace
I cannot be separated
from my Holy Spiritual Guide
     inseparably at my heart
          my secret Divine Pride

Categories
Dreams Poetry

Elemental Insanity

I am of the earth

and I do not trust the water

It laps my shore
I lick it up, moistened
soft and damp
left yearning
unoiled lamp
left polished
but wanting wear

I’m earthen
–yet rarely feet have trodden here
while I walk the substrate bare-
footed, rare to see another
with the will to exhaust
such karma there–
upon my earth
travellers now fear
such dirt
and toxins leached have
run amuck
now gotten stuck
upon my shores
where you wish to lap me up

I do not trust
I will not harm the beings near
and you, my dear

I stretch my eye to the edge of
the horizon — trying to find where
water ends and sky begins
unaware I’m standing in
that ether now
my waist deep wading
transcends liminal space
and I no longer seek
to stretch my sightless senses far
but rather remain to feel
the space around

I look up and down and see that
in the sky, reflected back,
a different sea, a cloud
soaring condensation
ready to transform at any
moment, dark and massive
holding deceptive weight
threatening to rise the tides
and drown us all

I don’t trust the water

— — — — —

I am of the air

I do not trust the fire

I love it, though,
and how alluring
it dances and matches
my rhymic fancies
alighting neither
here nor there

like spark to ash
rising into the night
up to the stars –suddenly
dying, vanishing and descending
silently — crying and proclaiming
that life’s not fair

the fire burns me up
its heat draws me in
as if an answer
to the ice around my heart
as if it could possibly melt
lifetimes of anger
turned sorrow to rock
how I wished the fiery
heat-of-passion-
spawned aggression
was the answer
crystal clear —
yet the delusion’s not
so before I’m eaten up
I make like a deer
and run

I do not trust the fire

— — — — —

I am of the light

I do not trust the space
my depth perception’s off
my conception’s out of place
I do not trust the time
the way it moves so slow
to the uncomprehending mind
that dims my afterglow

I don’t like the space between us
as messages get lost, and
when you’re seeing me as separate
with problems you are fraught
I see emptiness before me
yet mistakenly, I know
naming ordinary appearance
where boundless magic grows

I do not like refraction
how it contaminates my rays
I am pure light
I feel it
yet space eliminates & constrains —
though I am the brilliant being

I don’t trust the space

— — — — —

I am of deep ignorance

or else I would escape
this elemental game —
this cyclical existence
in which I’m continuously betrayed
by each and all delusions
that gather round my head
and constrict my heart’s pace so
I can barely catch my breath
it’s time to let this go
into the water I will drown them
& with the current
let them flow


Categories
Dreams Poetry

Possession

I

throat has seized
and body lusts,
reach out to grasp
man built to thrust

yet nothing there
for me to reach
and absent trust
rendered release

I cannot help
but ask and plead,
what dread clasp
robbed me of peace
?

II

such a force came over me
I could not name
I could not tame
without remorse
my mind possessed
cut him down
to see him bled

III

a piece of mind
it held me back
so his murder
I did not commit
but the urge arose,
as I now recall,
to myself hard to admit
the need for me to train my mind
before I face the nearing times
when all are tested
most will fail
as they trained their minds
to no avail

Categories
Buddhism Poetry

The Unforgetting World

We live in the Unforgetting World

Unforgetting

You hear the word
you ask what it means

A man in a dress tells you it means
we never forget our attachments

What’s an attachment, you wonder
as your background in sales leads you to believe
it’s an item you attach to your primary sale
in essence, you should upsell three attachments
with each cell phone (case, cable, warranty)

There are no guarantees,
the man in the robes says
except that you won’t forget
your attachments

You learn:

Attachment is the mind that exaggerates
the positive qualities of an object
(attachment loves ignoring red flags)
attachment spins a deceitful fairy tale:
it claims the object is the source of your happiness

And we believe this tall tale
despite all contradicting evidence
we love to ignore evidence
when it does not corroborate our stories

You walk away

You begin to forget
what the wise man said
almost immediately

You think:

I am forgetting
I must live in the forgetting world
I have forgotten what I ate for breakfast
I have forgotten what I did yesterday
god only knows what I did last month

I only remember things I’ve labelled special
I only remember what I’ve done
in accordance with its repetition

When you ask me who I love,
I say friends and family
because they are familiar, and the answer
is engraved on our hearts over lifetimes, infinite

I have forgotten almost everything about my life
who I was, who I’ve been, the characters I’ve played
and the friends I used to have

All I have is the present
and if I think about what I can remember
at any given moment

it is my attachments

It seems it is the only thing
I can remember

Like some sick joke on our weak human minds
that a mental factor could purport such wicked lies
and how could we not remember that
we’ve fallen into such traps before!?
How can we keep forgetting
we are betrayed forevermore?

Until the cycle, the pattern ends
until disrupted, samsara bends
and finally breaks

You remember the man,
in the dress, in the robes
he gave you a liberating gift
an opportunity to see the truth

By seeing differently and remembering
I am ever unforgetting


The Unforgetting World (podcast)