Tag: emptiness

In Buddhism, the Peacock is considered an auspicious bird for it thrives on plants and berries that would typically be poisonous to other birds. Just as peacocks live off toxic plants, so can a Buddhist practitioner thrive on adverse events by transforming them with Buddha’s teachings. This has been my practice since Winter of 2016 when I started General Program Meditation Classes with Samudra Kadampa Buddhist Centre.

from “About“

Today, as I received my peacock tattoo (created and tattooed by the talented and amazing Ally “Peacock” Sweitzer-Koabel), as a reward for transforming the (somewhat adverse) events of my summer (and beyond), I was able to look back on a particularly “interesting” and transformative (trying not to say “difficult”) time in my last decade and rejoice in the progress I’ve made in taming my previously wild & uncontrolled mind into a calm, happy, loving one.

I even came across this journal entry-cum-quasi-article I started back in 2023 after our Foundation Program (FP) class finished studying the amazing text Meaningful to Behold, a commentary to the great 8th century Buddhist Master Shantideva’s Guide to the Bodhisattva’s Way of Life. What follows is how I applied Dharma before and while studying this text after a particularly difficult break-up, during a particularly challenging time in my life, some time ago now.

This is my personal experience and does not necessarily reflect the experience of other practitioners. This experience was encouraged by understandings I attained by participating in the NKT study programs and attending NKT celebrations and festivals whenever possible. I was able to quickly develop understanding of several basic concepts over my first three years of study and practice in FP (and seven years of meditation practice) to gain the following results.

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How I’ve applied the Dharma instructions to change my “reality” 

I loved reading Meaningful to Behold, because it is such a wonderful and practical Guide to living our Modern Lives as aspiring Bodhisattvas. As an aspiring Bodhisattva, one of the first things I did was change my aspiration while remaining natural (which I was fortunate to understand when I met FP class and studied my first Buddhist commentary text, Universal Compassion). 

The approach I took to remaining natural while adding a Bodhichitta motivation was through conventional work – something I had grown to despise. 

By changing my motivation, I was able to use “getting a job” and “going to work” as a vehicle for progressing along the spiritual path. My motivation had changed, and I was still doing something that helped me function “naturally” as a part of normal society.

1. When looking for a job in 2019 (before starting FP), I wanted to create the conditions for a life where I could access more Dharma and become closer to being a “good” person. I applied for a job as a dishwasher because I thought it would be humbling.
   I needed money (conventionally), so I had to get a job. But I changed my motivation and applied for something of commonly “lower” status and pay than my last several jobs (Event Planner, Volunteer Coordinator, Store Manager, etc) in order to align with my idea of what a Bodhisattva was at the time (compassionate, unattached to reputation, humble). I began to apply many Buddhist fundamentals that I was learning in 2020 before leaving that job in 2021. It was a rewarding, if frustrating, experience. 
2. When looking for a job in 2021, I was still determined to make this a vehicle for progress on the path. I applied for a job where my neighbour worked. He described it as negative and terrible, and I felt very motivated to alleviate his suffering and the suffering of his coworkers by taking a job there. I began another humbling role, this time with a bit purer motivation (but perhaps greater stupidity ignorance).
3. Prior to starting this job, I had also been contemplating and striving for fearlessness. This allowed a lot more flexibility in my practice as my aversion to confronting my ordinary fears was significantly weakened already. I was also able to dispel many fears through the practice of contemplating the emptiness of fear. 
4. My perception of the workplace was that the work was easy and fun, but the people who worked there were making things terrible. There was a lot of crude, sexual joking that would have people instantly fired from my previous workplaces. There was nearly relentless complaining from almost every employee.  Every single issue was someone else’s fault, according to any complainer.
   I was overwhelmed by the negativity and tried to escape the situation almost immediately by searching for another new job.
   Very quickly, I received signs that I was exactly where I was supposed to be (not able to escape to another employer), so I continued my work as an aspiring Bodhisattva. (Although it took me some time to accept this). 
   I had to tackle this situation with many different Dharma tools I had accumulated:
   1. Patient Acceptance: Whatever was arising, I had to first accept it. Whether it was an unpleasant task at work, or the annoying environment at work or any other negative karma arising, too late to “stop”. Using a part of my mind to complain or wish it away was a waste of energy and absolutely no benefit.
   2. Understanding Karma: Whatever negative feelings were arising in actuality had NOTHING to do with how “terrible” my coworkers appeared. Everything I was experiencing was a result of my own previous actions. 
      (Good actions produce good effects. Bad actions produce bad effects.)
   3. Purification: as a result of understanding Karma, I knew I had to continue practicing “purification”, something I was familiar with engaging in while at my last job. It was becoming clear, no matter how many times I quit a job and started a new one, I would continue to experience almost exactly the same obstacles until the actual cause was purified.
      As a result of this understanding, I spent much time performing the four point purification practice, including regretting the negative actions I performed in lifetimes where I was a terrible boss, coach, mentor, absent parent, cruel ruler, betrayer, etc, etc. I knew that I would have to engage in the opponent power, virtuous actions, to oppose these negative actions and also to familiarize my mind with kindness, compassion, love — spontaneous virtue.
      I was also working on purification of finances, as it has become evident how many lifetimes I have spent as a miserly thief. I make special efforts to see the imprints arise (desiring to not pay for something at the store, not wishing to share with others), and I remember the effect that such a mind will produce in the future.
      I then destroy the delusion and make a promise to continue to weaken my familiarity with non virtue, seeing the connection between the imprint and my current dream appearance. 
   4. Effort & Mental Alertness: It has taken much effort to be on guard, disciplined and remain motivated. I have become an expert in self-encouragement and improving my mindfulness. It was clear that relying on external praise as a crutch was not working. I would either not receive it when I desired it. Or I would receive praise, and it would not stimulate the happy feelings I wish would arise. (As praise is never the actual cause of a happy feeling).
      After applying effort to attend every single Dharma class/event/course I was physically capable of attending, much wisdom was revealed about self-encouragement, and early on I was able to motivate myself along the path. This effort is also fueled by successes I continue to have along the path. This effort goes hand in hand with practicing mental alertness, so I am constantly on guard to what is arising in my mind. 
   5. Patience: I had to develop a strong kind of patience working for this employer. At the workplace, two coworkers in particular had a special negative influence on my mind. It took much contemplation and applying of Shantideva’s instructions in order to develop not just patience but absolute appreciation for these coworkers who would do things like be excessively negative, engage in bullying behaviour, act in hypocrisy, perform less work than others, all while willfully engaging in harmful actions. I was eventually able to be happy I received not one, but many Atisha’s Assistants. 
   6. Compassion: Watching these negative coworkers really awakened my compassion. Especially working with a “horrible” teenage boy. Not only would he constantly harass his coworkers, he would also gleefully kill all the insects in the restaurant. When he saw me taking spiders outside to save them, he would film me and send videos to other people we work with, mocking my actions. In even further evil action, he sprayed poison not only on all the spiders inside the restaurant, but also all the ones outside that had webs reachable in any direction. He took a special delight that the killing would also bother me so much.
      But what actually bothered me most was the horrible minds he was developing and becoming familiar with and the absolute horror of his future lives. I felt I had caught such a blatant sight of evil that it was nauseating and I cried with compassion for his future, wishing that all his negativity would ripen upon me right now so he would immediately cease creating these causes. 
   7. Taking and Giving: I would engage in as much taking and giving as I could at work. Especially for those that “bothered me” the most, as I could see their suffering was truly the greatest in this moment. I try to remove all the potential seeds of non virtue in the mental continuums of all sentient beings including my own. (I should specify the people I labeled as “a bother” were strictly those engaging in negative actions of body, speech and mind – not those who annoyed me in petty ways). 
   8. Increasing Bodhichitta: By working with these “negative” people, it became very clear that the only way I could help any living being is by attaining Enlightenment. Although this had been my goal now for a couple years, it is constantly renewed by observing the suffering on a daily basis and wishing all living beings to be free from it, and then following the instructions and actually applying the practice of Dharma in my life. This is a wish I almost only increase when I witness suffering directly.
   9. Releasing attachment to the Eight Worldly Concerns: especially reputation/respect.
      It became very clear that caring what my coworkers thought of me would become a detriment to my practice and my happiness. They were aggressively negative, and therefore their entire perspective was direly deluded. It became obvious they were impossible to please or change through external means (methods outside the mind). If you didn’t help enough or do something fast enough, they would call you terrible. If you did too much, you were also incompetent and terrible! It did not matter. So why was I trying to influence them at all through external methods? I had to apply:
   10. Wisdom realizing the emptiness of phenomena: Since sentient beings are not truly existent, from whom are praise and blame received?  (p. 497 Meaningful to Behold)
       With this specific wisdom, I was able to contemplate the emptiness of the inherent existence I was perceiving at work. In this way, I was able to relieve my suffering of caring what other people think. I made a wish to literally “lose my reputation” in order to truly satisfy this understanding.  It felt like I accomplished this wish in a number of ways, and I endured much hardship, But this hardship was very temporary in comparison to the lasting peace I now feel.
       I often contemplate the story of the Geshe Langri Tangpa who was left with a sick baby by a desperate mother and then perceived of being its father! Certainly, this would have had an effect on his reputation. His only response was virtuous action. I strive to attain that peace and wisdom by letting go of any attachment to reputation. 
   11. Moral Discipline – Not engaging in idle chatter: I observed that a large reason the staff was disgruntled was because of complaining and gossip. I had to make a promise early on in my job that I would not engage in complaining. Truly, my worst weeks were ones where I lost my motivation and got caught up in blaming others and talking about them to my coworkers. I now see the strong influence of anger and ignorance in my actions. Practicing refraining from idle chatter has made it difficult for others to engage in this negativity as well. 
   12. Moral Discipline – Refraining from Anger: I realized that every time I was blaming someone for something I was experiencing anger (or its lower forms frustration and agitation). I had many antidotes to apply to this mind – identifying inappropriate attention, applying wisdom, understanding karma, purification, engaging opponent forces of patience, love, compassion, etc. 
   13. Offerings – During my workday, I try to constantly make offerings to my Spiritual Guide, Buddha, all the Buddhas, Bodhisattvas and other Holy Beings, to the Spirits, to all Living Beings. There are many opportunities to do this, especially during food preparation.
       It is very easy to remember to offer up the material offerings, as well as my actions and the virtuous minds motivating the actions. I developed a special routine when “dropping wings” or “saucing & cheesing” where I would bless the food, offer it and offer my service, and dedicate the virtue to benefit all living beings. 
   14. Dedication: I make a wish that all beings will benefit from my virtuous actions – that my cooking food for living beings will be the causes of all living beings to meet good food and hospitable conditions, and that these virtuous actions will be the cause of swift progress along the path, to my enlightenment and the enlightenment of all living beings, etc. etc, (see Shantideva’s extensive dedication).  
   15. Tantra: At the same time as the above practices, I bring the future result into the present so I am a Bodhisattva, I am an enlightened being, and I am helping every single person at work and my customers. I alleviate all their suffering by being a happy presence and sharing my positive karma with them. I know exactly the correct thing to say or do that will bring all living beings closer to enlightenment and further away from the consistent suffering of samsara. I am a happy presence at work that people love to be around, even if they can’t say exactly why. My pure mind of love, joy, and peace is constantly mixed with everyone around me, so there are no problems. Everything that arises is bliss and emptiness. 

As a result of this practice over the last 14 months, my workplace — that I once identified as toxic, unhappy, frustrating, agitating, inappropriate, stressful, difficult, impossible, and miserable — became a happy, smoothly-run, well-staffed, good-cultured, and enjoyable place to work!

There were many physical changes that happened as a result of taking responsibility for my behaviour, changing my motivation, and therefore changing my mind, instead of trying to rearrange external conditions to my benefit without success (again).

As a result of changing my mind, the following changes appeared to me:

1. The super negative people either quit, were terminated fairly, or family circumstances pulled them away from the job (all peaceably).
2. We hired several new, happy, (reasonably) well-adjusted and positive staff that took directions well.
3. A new staff started posting up weekly memes/jokes and brought in a kettle, tea, milk and sugar, mugs to share, enlivening the environment with her kindness.
4. Stressful things stopped appearing during my shift (for example, we stopped getting orders of four steak subs five minutes before close; we stopped running out of items mid shift; the dough stretcher we relied on worked or only stopped working at a “convenient” time; deliveries ran smoothly – CRAZY!)
5. Far fewer mistakes made on pizzas/orders in general / Almost no burnt food.
6. I received several raises and some opportunity for advancement (that I wished for, but never actually asked for out loud).
7. If ‘stressful’ things did happen, I handled them with a calm and happy mind, and my boss also became more fair, cam and happy in his management, receptive to ideas and feedback.
8. I had many, what I call, ‘special experiences’ – stretching the exact right amount of pizzas for a service; selecting, in advance, the types of walk-in slices based on what customers asked for that day (disappointing no one!); space/timing of orders coming in perfectly allowing for a great work flow; an awesome randomized shuffle on Spotify that all the staff seem to be enjoying; and too many more experiences to list (or that would be difficult to understand).

In addition to my workplace changing, my life has been consistently wonderful:

9. I have the opportunity to maintain good physical conditions – walking to work, exercise at work, safe apartment, just enough money to live on (no poor spending habits!).
10. Meals at work or from friends, family, and always having exactly what I need materially, emotionally and spiritually.
11. I do not own enough to be stressed or bothered that I may lose what I have.

Other practices I’ve engaged in that have contributed to these positive minds, reformed habits, and virtuous familiarities. These include:

1. Giving: I imagine giving to all those that need it, all the time. I give material help and resources when I am able. I continuously generate wishes to be able to give limitlessly, especially the Four Givings (material help, Dharma, love and fearlessness) 
2. Test Myself: I imagine scenarios where I have more resources/power and “watch” what I do – do I help myself first or do I act to help others immediately? Do I only help my friends or do I help strangers? How do I treat my enemies? (Usually I still try and benefit myself first, even in my imagination. This observation helps dispel pride that naturally arises with even minor spiritual accomplishments.)
3. Seeing all Living Beings as My Kind Mother: this practice became easy for me once I saw glimpsed began to imagine the infinite possibilities in countless previous lives since beginningless time. (Key word: beginningless)
   Since time is beginningless, it stands to reason that all living beings have been our kind mother at some point. Buddha states that all beings have been our mothers many times.
   It is easy for me to then imagine being more kind and helpful to them – especially since I have an extraordinary mother in this lifetime. She is fierce, kind, strong, courageous, compassionate, believes her children capable of anything, encourages us, and would sacrifice anything for us including her self. She is a wonderful example who I love.
   Now, to imagine that all living beings have protected me like she has, have given me such amazing kindness and love… that is truly motivation to help them… or hold patience for them! Even if they are grumpy, moody, tired, harming me, or harming others. They need my help! (Sometimes that means keeping my distance, of course.) But this has been fantastic motivation and opportunity to “see” things differently and in a way that has had a beneficial effect on my mind and relationships with others.
4. Test the Dharma: the only way to gain any faith and conviction in Dharma instructions is to put them into practice. Simply blindly believing these methodologies work without practice will not benefit a practitioner’s faith or joyful effort.
   We must actually see for ourself if practicing patience indeed makes us happy, reduces our anger. We must see for ourself that being generous to others brings us more happiness than simply benefiting ourselves. We must see the ugliness and harm that arises as a result of angry minds. We must feel the happiness that a peaceful, calm, controlled mind generates even amidst a stressful situation.
   We should be so lucky to meet these instructions and put them to the test!
5. Reliance & Gratitude – I understand (through personal experience) that the only swift path to happiness is to rely upon Buddha, the supreme conqueror, Dharma, the supreme instructions to attain permanent liberation from suffering, and Sangha, the supreme spiritual friends. In addition, relying upon living beings in order to develop the supreme qualities we aspire to attain:
   Since living beings and enlightened beings are alike
   in that the qualities of a Buddha are in dependence upon them,
   why do we not show the same respect
   to living beings as we do to the Enlightened Beings?

Thank you! How Wonderful!