From where does the sorrow come? 10.22.21
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Question 9
Tag: karma
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Unlucky
Good luck is non transferable –
even by charm.
Bad luck, on the other hand,
is completely sharable –
it’s cause for alarm!
Our addiction to misery
increases our suffering
our willingness to spread sorrow
keeps our happiness buffering
We exhaust our good karma
and make few more good effects
ostensibly wasting
what little time we have left
Action and effect,
so easy to contemplate
moment by moment
evidence reveals our fate
seems silly to hesitate
we don’t have the time to wait
Running always to our suffering
with attachment our choking leash
inappropriate attention manifesting
the nonsensical stories we must cease
for karmic seeds mix with these delusions
and quickly appear intense pain
prompting us to commit the same!
with familiarity our curse,
and self-cherishing our bane
We must break the uncontrolled cycle
with continuous purification
and a strong determination
to realize our destiny,
this karmic mind chemistry
Otherwise we will continue to suffer
unluckily, again and again
by our own hand
while we keep blaming others
What do you want?
I mean, honestly, hun –
can you give me a straight answer?
Can you admit yourself one?
You lurk, you stalk, you play,
you wish, you pray, you prey,
you feast your eyes on words
and dwell on ones you’ll never say
You start and then you stop
you rush in and you pull out
you dance around the subject
clearly consumed with pointless doubt
You lack a vestige of courage
you lack a vehicle for change
your shoes are worn down
your soles soggy with rain
You gave up too early
you found nearby bed
you used her wet hole
to distract your sick head
I’m sad for your heart
I’m sad for your soul
you don’t understand the mind
so you grasp, run, let go
You say “no contradiction”
and you call it the truth
but what’s that in practice?
you’re as naive now as in youth
I can say what you need
and how you’ll disappoint
but I really don’t care
after I’ve had half a joint
What keeps me up thinking
is the very subtle mind
inseparable from any other
your thoughts are easy to find
They flatten then bristle
they swing and they miss
they wish I’d disappear
then they thirst for a kiss
How you long to control them
and how you know there’s a way
but you refuse to believe it
holding hungry dismay
You’ve been bruised, ego-beaten
dashed down and ignored
you’ve been neglected, abused
now you pretend to be bored
Why not free your desire?
there’s no way heart burns out!
If your motive is kind
and you trash your false doubt
Why not shine so brightly
and offer your gift?
Unless you’re a liar
and your stories are thrift!
I’ve insatiable curiosity
that somehow finds the low
and hearing their sad stories
know there’s lower to go
Out of horror and love
and my growing compassion
my heart moves my mind
so this body takes action
I would never wait for one
when there are countless suffering
I get rid of selfish motivation
as my bodhichitta is developing
It’s been a long winter
I thought I’d run out of words
but the channeling won’t stop
your imagination’s absurd!
I’ve been poked and prodded
and nearly choked out
I’ve swelling in tendons
I’ve been hit below belt
There’s a demon in my window
as my gargoyle stands watch
but no fearing nor loathing
could upset this game of hopscotch
I’m winning, ever winning
ever happy, despite sad
ever dancing around obstacle
ever grinning, being mad
If you’ve been here a while
you’ll already know
I made firm decision
a long, long time ago
I’m not wishy-washy
I’m not subtle, nor vague
I’m taming the wildest mind
treating delusions as plague
You don’t know the evil
I’ve birthed and I’ve held
with which I would harm
without three poisons dispelled
But with pure moral discipline
there’s no panic, no lack
I have all the conditions
and mindfulness my back
In dependence upon Three
I’ll never give up
and in defence against you
I’m staying #PrayedUp
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Question 7
Where to now? 10.17.21
Suffering is addictive. 10.17.21
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Karmic Enjoyment
it’s a beautiful night
I label, I grasp
still, I appreciate
nice temporary conditions
with childlike delight
(especially in winter)
knowing the cause of this peaceful mind
is not this appearance
but an action, long passed
now the effect blooms
in the garden of good conditions
no external wish granted
just joyful disposition
for winter never could bring happiness
what is this effortless arising
so easy, so pure
it’s the mind of renunciation
samsara’s cure
for the only reason I now have delight
is Dharma given kindly
which I recall tonight
lying cramped in the tub
feeling like I’ve done this not hundreds
but infinite times before
floating here in scented water salted
overly concerned with eight unavoidable concerns
actually caring to be incensed or insulted!
tossed about violently and needlessly by eight winds!
anyway, words are received meaninglessly, buoyant on the sea
of a soured mind, like mine
if I observe for even a moment
I bear witness: I exist so foolishly
perfumed, smelling sweet as a rose
but still rotting with refusal to diffuse
the subtle self-cherishing arising
I see delusions and try to oppose
the inappropriate attention
hooking my senses
guiding me toward inappropriate action
easy to engage for a moment of mild enjoyment
but how much sweeter the treat of her
if you bank with interest for later delight
collected faster with correct imagination
using wise discrimination to do right
saving a virtuous treasure for
an auspicious time, devoid kryptonite
unknown to a non-clairvoyant,
powerful but ignorant mind, like mine
still, I accept that the merit must ripen and
I can find the fruits faster, not by cheating,
but by pure intention and
multiplying with imagination for
immeasurables and always remembering
the tub is the nature of suffering
changing, and misunderstood
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Curious Undertaking
They say curiosity killed the cat
and satisfaction brought her back
but in samsara’s spoiled waters
I find only ill departers
it’s hardly satisfying
when everyone I love is dying
I see sickness in all migrators
who swim wantonly with alligators
breaking open hearts and seals
contemplating Sinbad’s deal
excusing whorish proffers
while taking what’s not offered
to indulge each selfish desire
to enjoy the heat of temporary fire
turning quickly to ember, burning out
leaving grey ashes of deluded doubt
How can I help all beings
with such ailments of the mind
with intense hedonistic attachment
to each sensory pleasure, illusory yet defined
each one appearing solid, concrete
while in actuality like a dream from mind
produced from empty-like space
contaminated matter is all I find
I must vomit out this poison and
grow virtuous roots, from seeds purified
To help nurture this new garden
of joyful, chaste, and pure delights
to replace increasing darkness
with pure increasing Dharma light
I visualize taking from all migrators,
their poison, like charcoal smoke
the delusions leave their bodies
arising unobstructed from all folk
all suffering, ill intent, all harmful desires
billow like black clouds from raging forest fires
flow, now fly, to my subtle mind, my heart
and are destroyed completely at the inner drop
annihilating my self-cherishing and my self-grasping
now I give pure, boundless love and compassion,
and I too receive this medicinal nectar
all beings enjoy happiness, everlasting
and I become a pure preceptor
I’m forced to walk where my feet go
I’m forced to wonder on what I know
I’m forced to move by winds of mind
I’m forced to suffer, for I’ve been unkind
Categories
confusing conditions
built to be broken
& cracked down to dust
born to be suffered
offend and break trust
invented to abscond
tried to be trashed
told to fuck off
& thrashed for a laugh
samsara’s play buckles
pulls out all the stops
the audience participation
wallops a good punch
nonsense and dream world
collide innocent
how do awful things ripen?
can we prevent one torment?
it hurts so we harden
it pricks so we hack
all beauty to pieces
even though it doesn’t last
on its own
what pride can be held
in accomplishing the same
as time does with no effort
robbing us of each name
revenge becomes pointless
as our hearts become stone
I press, we must realize our mind
‘cause I can’t take this pain
all apparent losses
grief felt again and again
all relationships tarnish
all chaos lets loose
I thought this time was different
and so volunteered for the noose
but from this redundant perspective
it’s so easy to see
I was built to be broken
& caged to be freed
The Halfwit Writer 