This path is for you, alone
and lonely though it seems
that’s just mistaken awareness
that perceives inherent dreams
For though no self is separate
as ordinary we can’t conceive
the pure joy of our existence
what we gain, all beings achieve
The space in here
it is not clear
though she says
it’s clarity
My mind is fog
for this is wrong
though she says
it’s sanity
I hear a siren’s call
– or a fire alarm?
as she sings
it’s raining men
If she’s a storm
I wish to be her wind
though she says
such wish is sin
If I fall in
I know I’m fucked
though she jokes
you’re just a crook
It’s just a test
as she laughs at me
now she says
suffering need not be
If happiness is mind
I generate it from within
now she sings
the world is yours to win
Oh! Elusive happy mind!
on what do you depend?
now she jokes
it’s in your head!
The space in here
it is not clear
though she says
it’s clarity
My mind is fog
for this is wrong
now she begs
oh just kiss me!
I am not apart from my faith
but I am apart from people
from my mountain cave
I compose poems and songs
I meditate and I realize emptiness
and still the people come in throngs
to accuse me of such silliness
feelings that have long since
come and gone
for aeons, our own harm befalls us
but still we blame,
in mistaken consciousness
still the same
in all our actions ignorant
I am not apart from my faith
but I am apart from others
in their silence and their pain
I am apart from you
and here I fear I will remain
I am hurting
deeply wounded
to my core
only this time –
it’s not personal
it’s nothing I’ve done or haven’t done
at least not recently
it’s not who I am, rather
it’s who I’ve been
it’s not what I didn’t do
it’s what I’ve done countless times over
self-cherished, ignorant
born into imprints, big boots to fill
innocently believing in myself
not as an enlightened being
but merely inherently existent
(betraying myself)
harmfully, forever non truth
making up our non reality
collectively
O, to escape a cage that has no bars!
Where’s one run? Where’s one go?
we dance and shake and make do
and then – handed instructions,
mapped, a perfect escape route
tested, tried, and true
a happy result, always
I would dare – but alone?
why will no one come with me?
will no one come with me?
The Halfwit Writer