Tag: poem

Categories
Poetry

A sad song

I am hurting
   deeply wounded
to my core
only this time –
it’s not personal
it’s nothing I’ve done or haven’t done
       at least not recently

it’s not who I am, rather
it’s who I’ve been

it’s not what I didn’t do
it’s what I’ve done countless times over

self-cherished, ignorant
      born into imprints, big boots to fill
innocently believing in myself

not as an enlightened being
     but merely inherently existent
                    (betraying myself)

harmfully,     forever non truth
making up our non reality
                       collectively

   O, to escape a cage that has no bars!
   Where’s one run? Where’s one go?

we dance and shake and make do
     and then – handed instructions,
mapped, a perfect escape route
     tested, tried, and true
     a happy result, always

     I would dare – but alone?
why will no one come with me?
         will no one come with me?

Categories
Poetry

clearwing

not good enough?
       you little moth
               drawn to my flame
fearing I’ll burn your wings

but I am not fire (your past)
        I am air (your future)
               a Tara,
                           wind element

you choose disbelief
       to break hearts, cause tears
& still, you deserve such clarity of mind,
       divine,

you little moth

you’re enough

Categories
Poetry

Warped Regression

I am wretched
  spastic in time
visions zoom and swoop
I am not alleviated of guilt
I am a burden of my own burdening

Knocked to the hard ground
       concrete bloodied
pieces of knuckles, jaws
  scattered about
       detritus of a coming war
  spastic in time
visions sink, exhaled
  a finale, last breath
I am not alleviated of guilt
I will not profess my own burdening

Seamless lips, faulted
  refusing to admit witness
slammed with responsibility
  reaping, weeping, false confession
but a word, treason, is not spoken
  and the clouds do not lift
visions sink, heavy, inhaled
  as poison, saddled, trained
a whistle blows, heard for miles
  you know it’s gone —
a train of burden

You ought to have seen this coming
       hisses a Voice outta dark
          whispers like old wheels
       grinding to a halt on a rusted track
                        (obligation bearing back)

And if I did?
         words evaporated, arisen from
           a vibrating box,
         moved by mind

And remain ignorantly attached?
        But why!
            — surprise in the Voice

                                          silence

Addiction to the merry-go-round
of burden,
the colours, the depths of pain
    the highs  of   lows
the energy, vibrating
       words,   vibrating
     endowed with mind-meaning
   and mind-made-up

The Voice can see what
         lack of service lacks
  and   stops.   shocked —
            disappears, abandoning

            Please!  I laugh
Please!  I laugh
                   and laugh

Categories
Poetry

The Leper

Untouched
     and why
such disgust at
     contagious negativity
gangrene and gross
     debilitating degeneration
carnivorous and swift
     progression is easy
unneeded consent
     submit    submit
and why
     untouched except
with separate wash
     still never away
she wept
     and why

Categories
Dreams Poetry

Self-cherishing, alone

Know me,
       choose to know me
and know that you are not alone
but I will not make you
       less lonely
knowledge will not make you
       less lonely
that always you will want
       only to be
alone

Know me
see my sorrow
unpromised to a single cause
observe that
              anchor-attached
       I will drown
you will watch
       as you are drowning
              we are overwhelmed
alone

Know me
   then choose to leave me
         low and wet
            high and dry
ecologically drained
and emotionally filled
       venomous
          — or is it toxic? —
     she is both,
                       alone

Know me
        do not.
do not learn.
a box better left lidded
monogrammed P
a sell-sword’s secret sealed
unabandoned, undone
better to un-know
better to be
alone

Know me.
Choose to know me.
Know that you are not alone,
but it does not matter
     when self-cherishing strangles
            the virtue that prompts
         the mind that yearns
                    will cut off
  compassion, love
and choose the self.

Alone.

Categories
Buddhism Poetry

Futile complaint

All the conditions
all the instructions
all the sorrows
                       the pains
the long introductions
you should know suffering
and develop intention

You have all the conditions
all the instructions
all the pleasures
                       such joys
you should know these are temporary
called changing suffering
and seek the wisdom realizing
                       emptiness instead

Categories
Poetry

Feels good, man (but for how long)

I shall call it
            changing suffering
                   forevermore
                   for that is what it is

Every twinkle little star
     every snowflake near and far
                sparkling against sky or ground
     morning dewdrops all around

     I once considered beautiful gifts
     wondrous signs too commonly missed

But, no – I now see
                  (not for the first time)
        fool’s gold
                    not easily offered back
        a meaningless pocket weight,
                  (now I must buy a belt)

How can I contend with such suffering?

In temporary pleasures and joys,
       effortlessly, we’re robbed
       even if of mere time

     inescapable imputation
     immovable mountain
     sickness, aging, death

I cannot evade you
     so why am I running?
          Why do I not surrender?

The terrifying jaws of death
        protected only by an inner circle,
     a very subtle layer

(Let’s unblock the chakras
                before it’s too late)

(I hope it’s not too late)

You know, the story of the ring was this

     emptiness, bliss
     there all along,
     delusion appearing great,
                      feels too strong
     yet empty     empty
                      all along

(Of what?)

(Empty of what?)

That’s the question,
            the non-existent rub

            (still yearning for the out)

So just existing in this tub

           Trading suffering

Not for the first nor last time
        does such (dis)satisfaction
                           (edit upon the moment, day)
        depend upon my mind
  and never these infernal conditions
                                  manifest by mind

It’s my mind
         changing suffering, such!
     nature of samsara’s temporary kind

                       So will be relief
when clarity appears to replace
                        this muddled mess –
direct realization: emptiness
            with pure intention
 and, please, before death!

Categories
Poetry

A fickle thing

I started to lose interest
where it began, I cannot tell –
was it diseases of delusions?
   or the medications as well?

Aversion to sugar
I dislike that sweet —
  but a little too tart?
         sours my treat

A dash of salt
  is too salty still
     when I want a
                     silly snack

Creamy vanilla
    or buttered plain
        are two with simple
                               lack

Yet mocha dark
       or caramel glazed
              are off my beaten
                                path

So what is it I fancy?
      what is it I crave?
  and what will satisfy me?
  or quick become depraved?

For once a pleasure rises
    a pleasure, she must fall
    and he who sympathizes with
                                attachment
       is he who loses all

For grasping at an object,
impermanent, illusion best
is ignorance, the birthplace
of delusions, all the rest

So what will satisfy me
     external to my mind?
Nothing nothing no   thing
         for all that is
         is named,   is mind

Categories
Poetry Saturday Expressions

What now? | Session 18

If it was never fixed,
    it can’t be rebroken

yet it’s shattered now completely

while I am made whole

I have been repurposed
                   utterly renewed

now I know
         freedom,     not heartache,
         ensues

amazing – I waited
                   so patiently —
. . .
         okay, no
                    I begged
I literally got on my knees and pleaded

(humiliating really)

for C L O S U R E

I practically pulled my own teeth for it

(I simply stole a toothbrush instead)

I was intoxicated by the lust for a bitter end –

while being denied it again and again

knowing it’s going to come
inevitably

so I begged for early release

the buildup was incredible
intense at times

(filled with that crazed yearning)

but, as it so often is, then withheld

so when the climax didn’t come

time went by and trepidation

S t R e t c H e d

to a numbed oblivion, almost
forgotten – then rediscovered and

(as I was waiting for, begging for)

followed by the instant explosion,

so incredibly quick we call brief into question

a lit fuse to a pinch of dynamite

I waited for the punch! And it never came

it merely sizzled
                 a spark, lacking flame
                                  and while I wish

so strongly, I could say,       you too
were just a sizzle to me

instead I just admit you were a strong second

(sorry, never a first)

and of course such thirst for you

has permanently ended

no hurt            no difficult goodbye

no hard feelings

             just sweet, sweet relief

what now?

Enlightenment

Categories
Poetry

vacuous oration

              words on words
he flipped the bird
     and entertained
absurdity
       ‘n’ torn
        paper’s frayed
kaleidoscope image
       he is his cage
his father’s father was delayed
       in learning virtue
was the way
       and still today
a family pays

              absurd’s the word
you heard it
       hear it first
              from me
and then find a qualified source
       for I have a message
that demand’s to be bottled and
caught and released
                  that beast, the words on words
you’d rather she’d heard
              thather than the ones you …
wish!!!
              you could amend

[Narrator: *coughs* I hate to bring that up again]

             yet the part demands to be played
and so another family paid
       karma sweet, then karma tart
karma baked in humble pie
       ripens as happiness and
fortunes that fly
       as the reins of wisdom
slap their steeds
       we’ll leave samsara
and all its feasts
       before the bottle rolls on shore
‘fore the greatest battle,
                            raw guts gore
‘fore Dharma is lost forevermore

              for the 11th is so far away
seeming like an eternity –
       too long to let my family pay
so nonsense verse I offer up
              like empty teacup
                     stainless pot
water boils
              yet is not       hot

for all the teachings yet to come
may each have meaning, every one
and ‘fore this verse starts making sense
              I’ll lose the train of th . . .
                     like I’ve lost cents
a lazy rhyme
              an uneven rhythm
       to trip the orator
              a great let down
       is samsara’s treasure 🤑

he is coming
he is coming
he has come

thank you
thank you
thank you

goodbye