Tag: samsara

Categories
Poetry

loathsome whispers

the voices whisper
        people loathe you
the voices snicker
        alone alone alone
a false chant
        separate separate separate
a real deluded rant
        awful awful awful
in four-four time, or sometimes three
        you can’t count anymore!
I used to play the violin
        and you can’t read anymore!
the voices tell half-truths
        and you believe us!
the voices are half-believed, half-won already
        you’ve lost, give up
a nasty thought, a remorseful tale
        we are the guards!
I’d rather be the hammer than the nail
        your mind’s in jail!
I’d plan escape, but where to run
        we’re just beginning our fun!
for the mind will follow, as shadows after the sun
        stop with the rhymes, already!
the voices whisper
        people loathe you
the voices snicker
        alone alone alone
a false chant
        separate separate separate
a real deluded rant
        fearful fearful fearful
with the ability to abandon
        no  no   no!
I expel the poison, the voices
        so long   good bye   adieu

and freedom pursue

footnote: if you’re going through hell, keep going

footnote 2: to love, to cherish, to be patient, to be kind, to be virtuous, to remember all is mind, this will get you through

Categories
Buddhism Dreams Poetry

cursed & okay

could it be worth the pain?
sure it could hurt (does hurt)
but it always can! (and will!)
samsara’s blessing, and its curse!

there’s always suffering
it’s always there
agony & heartache
these endless cares

unfulfilled wishes
we ain’t some dying breed
we’ve been wishing and craving
burning with need

since beginningless time
(that’s time without beginning)
we’ve been lost in self-grasping
our delusions are winning

then enter love, a virtue
not some object of wanting
but a wish for your happiness
not taking, not haunting

like once, a vampire sucked
my energy, my time, my luck
even when I yearned to fuck
he made me feel yuck, yuck, yuck

no more! I just yearn to give
I wish to love, to laugh to live
and even though I know it hurts
I just think it could be worse

so I’m willing to try and bear such pain
I’m even willing to go insane
(okay, never mind…I’m already there)
and I really wish I didn’t care!

but it seems I don’t have a choice
and I have a lot of choices –
normally – a lot of control
not over external matters of course…

but in this dream world,
control over matters of mind
apparently not matters of the heart
but definitely matters when being kind

alright I want to wrap this up
like a Christmas gift, my loving cup
a trophy that I wish to offer
filled with jewels as if a coffer

and yet, I awaken from the dream
to grasp at less than air between
this reality, mind-made, of you, of me
and now give up the fantasy

because it’s never worth the pain
it’s never worth the endless grasping
it’s never worth insanity
or the infinite, familiar clasping

and on this evening drear and gloomy
under clouds all grey and doomy
I curse my love life, I confess to crime
I accept the loss, and I’ll do the time

Categories
Buddhism Philosophy Poetry

determination

I am only a witness,
        transparent eye
a non judgemental mirror —
          or at least a mirror who keeps
          her judgments to herself

I am the nursery rhyme before it’s written,
        the angel before the fall
        the dream before the nightmare
        the ring before the call

I hear the future coming,
          still feel the distant past,
  see outcomes from our actions
              that for years & years will last

I weep for sad beginnings
            I laugh at mad hellos
  see insanity all around us
        and suffering only grow

I am ready to escape this
        ready to depart
        ejecting all attachment
        burning all my art

I have not one creation
          of which I am proud
  except those that come from virtue,
              those soundless,
              those I’ve vowed

I sow these seeds in silence
          for my words have caused much pain
          all contaminated actions
               seemingly in vain
          (* focus on intention *)

I hear the whistle blow,
          a hundred miles from home
  smell the fields of mountain thyme
            growing round the purple heather
  and still cannot decide
                if to stay or go

                        until I walk the streets
                see the suffering
                hear the cries
                smell the stink
                feel the terror
                taste the drink

then it all comes rushing back,
          each and every pleasure,
                    that I’ve had it all before
      —     it’s time to think!
                   I cannot do this anymore!
I won’t!

So with reliance, offering, requesting,
            my life I do lay down
                  only for something better
            more meaningful, profound

      with diligent, stable practice
              (which, finally, I’ve found)
              and compassionate, loving heart
              I fall upon the Bodhisattva’s ground

I bow before the new moon,
          and rising with the sun
  try to take things lightly,
  because all is mind and none is one

Categories
Poetry

way out within

there is a portal
escape route out
             no need to scream
             no need to shout

is it above us?
or is it below?
             it cannot be without
             it is within we go

and when we discover
the truth that lies therein
             that all is mind, is empty
             pure and free of sin

only happiness resides
in our pure, loving core
             only a kind, peaceful
             consciousness, forevermore

(the question is,
             do you want it?)

Categories
Poetry

A sad song

I am hurting
   deeply wounded
to my core
only this time –
it’s not personal
it’s nothing I’ve done or haven’t done
       at least not recently

it’s not who I am, rather
it’s who I’ve been

it’s not what I didn’t do
it’s what I’ve done countless times over

self-cherished, ignorant
      born into imprints, big boots to fill
innocently believing in myself

not as an enlightened being
     but merely inherently existent
                    (betraying myself)

harmfully,     forever non truth
making up our non reality
                       collectively

   O, to escape a cage that has no bars!
   Where’s one run? Where’s one go?

we dance and shake and make do
     and then – handed instructions,
mapped, a perfect escape route
     tested, tried, and true
     a happy result, always

     I would dare – but alone?
why will no one come with me?
         will no one come with me?

Categories
Poetry

clearwing

not good enough?
       you little moth
               drawn to my flame
fearing I’ll burn your wings

but I am not fire (your past)
        I am air (your future)
               a Tara,
                           wind element

you choose disbelief
       to break hearts, cause tears
& still, you deserve such clarity of mind,
       divine,

you little moth

you’re enough

Categories
Dreams Poetry

Self-cherishing, alone

Know me,
       choose to know me
and know that you are not alone
but I will not make you
       less lonely
knowledge will not make you
       less lonely
that always you will want
       only to be
alone

Know me
see my sorrow
unpromised to a single cause
observe that
              anchor-attached
       I will drown
you will watch
       as you are drowning
              we are overwhelmed
alone

Know me
   then choose to leave me
         low and wet
            high and dry
ecologically drained
and emotionally filled
       venomous
          — or is it toxic? —
     she is both,
                       alone

Know me
        do not.
do not learn.
a box better left lidded
monogrammed P
a sell-sword’s secret sealed
unabandoned, undone
better to un-know
better to be
alone

Know me.
Choose to know me.
Know that you are not alone,
but it does not matter
     when self-cherishing strangles
            the virtue that prompts
         the mind that yearns
                    will cut off
  compassion, love
and choose the self.

Alone.

Categories
Poetry

vacuous oration

              words on words
he flipped the bird
     and entertained
absurdity
       ‘n’ torn
        paper’s frayed
kaleidoscope image
       he is his cage
his father’s father was delayed
       in learning virtue
was the way
       and still today
a family pays

              absurd’s the word
you heard it
       hear it first
              from me
and then find a qualified source
       for I have a message
that demand’s to be bottled and
caught and released
                  that beast, the words on words
you’d rather she’d heard
              thather than the ones you …
wish!!!
              you could amend

[Narrator: *coughs* I hate to bring that up again]

             yet the part demands to be played
and so another family paid
       karma sweet, then karma tart
karma baked in humble pie
       ripens as happiness and
fortunes that fly
       as the reins of wisdom
slap their steeds
       we’ll leave samsara
and all its feasts
       before the bottle rolls on shore
‘fore the greatest battle,
                            raw guts gore
‘fore Dharma is lost forevermore

              for the 11th is so far away
seeming like an eternity –
       too long to let my family pay
so nonsense verse I offer up
              like empty teacup
                     stainless pot
water boils
              yet is not       hot

for all the teachings yet to come
may each have meaning, every one
and ‘fore this verse starts making sense
              I’ll lose the train of th . . .
                     like I’ve lost cents
a lazy rhyme
              an uneven rhythm
       to trip the orator
              a great let down
       is samsara’s treasure 🤑

he is coming
he is coming
he has come

thank you
thank you
thank you

goodbye

Categories
Buddhism Poetry

the Runner

smart mouth, ignorant mind
quick to speak, quick to die
life too brief, running out of time
creating causes to ever find

   endless suffering

          why me?

fast talk, soft skin
feel without, see within
fast decisions, a life of sin
feel samsara hook you in

   with attachment

           why not me?

as I seek the highest highs
I learn the lowest lows
then suddenly sink lower
than I’d ever thought I’d go

   the lower realms

          not again

yet always I’m forgetting
the causes of my pain
making all escape attempts
nothing but in vain

   putting me to shame

          again

the blue of Mount Meru
reflects into our sky
all the flesh and bones
of all my lives gone by

     exceed its mass

         and still, again,
                 I try

Categories
Poetry

Even You

I always wanted the best for you
that’s kind of why I wished you knew
what you wanted in life, mostly
and, you know, kind of who you’d like to be
maybe one or two simple goals
a job, career — a commitment-phobe
is what I got instead
with stress and anxiety round
his balding head, and don’t get me started
on the gluten allergy

okay, I’ll try not to make it personal –

as a bodhisattva, with bodhichitta
I now pray
for each and every being to be happy
each and every day
for all suffering to be gone
for even you to get your fill
for not one enemy I claim
not one ounce of ill will remains

I hope you’re happy on your path
I hope you’re surrounded with love and laughs
I haven’t left a bit of wrath
to blame anything on you
even when I wanted to
instead I saw the good you grew
in me and many others

despite the bumpy, gritty roads
calves in ditches and girl scout notes
the ups and downs and round and rounds
and endless suffering,
I’d choose it all again —
if I don’t escape this life
we’re bound to repeat that goddam strife
because we couldn’t close the loop
our destiny will be to regroup

unless one of us is liberated,
one of us is freed
although I wish it would be you
I must know it will be me

if what I see in you,
is merely a mirror of myself
a bloody tormented soul
I’ve now left upon the shelf
a chrysalis ripped apart
the snakeskin that I shed
unlike losing hair upon your head,
intentional,
even you remember intention
maybe you even have it now

I believe we all can change

I’m doing it somehow

all beings will destroy delusions
all virtue will ensue
all beings become Buddhas

even me
even you