Tag: suffering

Categories
Poetry

Free Yourself

(Alternate title: The Emperor’s Old Cage)

I see you in your little cage
exhausted having spent your rage
avoiding me from right next door
while pretending you’re in Singapore
I feel you in the gusts of wind
that rattle the panes as drafts creep in
the coldness of your inherited state
your brilliance like countless snowflakes
glittering in the lamplight’s splay
temporary, soon melted away
timid as the portalled rainbows
refracted rays as rare as angels
bestowing a captivating vision to
a silent waiting world,
attachment to external appearance, feeling
meaningless beyond the moment of enjoyment
or perhaps in time travel, occasional memory
bubbling to the surface from an ether
seldomly accessed, no longer in reflex
your alternate reflux exasperating
creating such drawn out suffering
pervading all minds — so instead
you should find the lost key
or break the lock to your invisible cage
and be free of the misery in your head
which is a choice, a bore
and follow the fun and light some more   that is the path of the fearless emperor

(how do you resist joyful allure?)

Oh! How you would shine
with the radiance of fresh-fallen snow
in the pure sunlight, if you should try
and break free

Categories
Poetry

déjà vu

lying cramped in the tub
feeling like I’ve done this not hundreds
but infinite times before
floating here in scented water salted
overly concerned with eight unavoidable concerns
actually caring to be incensed or insulted!
tossed about violently and needlessly by eight winds!
anyway, words are received meaninglessly, buoyant on the sea
of a soured mind, like mine

if I observe for even a moment
I bear witness: I exist so foolishly
perfumed, smelling sweet as a rose
but still rotting with refusal to diffuse
the subtle self-cherishing arising
I see delusions and try to oppose
the inappropriate attention
hooking my senses
guiding me toward inappropriate action
easy to engage for a moment of mild enjoyment

but how much sweeter the treat of her
if you bank with interest for later delight
collected faster with correct imagination
using wise discrimination to do right
saving a virtuous treasure for
an auspicious time, devoid kryptonite
unknown to a non-clairvoyant,
powerful but ignorant mind, like mine

still, I accept that the merit must ripen and
I can find the fruits faster, not by cheating,
but by pure intention and
multiplying with imagination for
immeasurables and always remembering
the tub is the nature of suffering
changing, and misunderstood

Categories
Buddhism Philosophy Poetry

renunciate

Even when conditions are good
they are never good enough
until I realize emptiness directly
I am never satisfied, never giving up

Categories
Poetry

Break the Chain

I no longer wish to meet those
who make me regret my virtue
of course, I can’t excuse my own forfeit of mind
and I never would regret virtuous intention
even when challenged!

Instead, I see clearly that in samsara
there exists no real happiness, no good reputation
no wealth, no status, no good condition
not only failure, misery, and criticism
not only lowly status and painful position
but always departing from what we love
and too often meeting what we hate!

So if i have any regret, it’s saved
for actions throwing me lower than the grave
then I purify completely in three more steps
with reliance, opponent force and firm promise
never again laying claim to hateful mind
never again to drink addictive poisons
never again to grasp, to crave
never again to begin again
  the beginningless cycle of suffering
this lifetime I break the chain!

I will die without regret
having used every momently wisely
a cause-creator, achieving true happiness

Categories
Poetry

Curious Undertaking

They say curiosity killed the cat
and satisfaction brought her back
but in samsara’s spoiled waters
I find only ill departers
it’s hardly satisfying
when everyone I love is dying
I see sickness in all migrators
who swim wantonly with alligators
breaking open hearts and seals
contemplating Sinbad’s deal
excusing whorish proffers
while taking what’s not offered
to indulge each selfish desire
to enjoy the heat of temporary fire
turning quickly to ember, burning out
leaving grey ashes of deluded doubt

How can I help all beings
with such ailments of the mind
with intense hedonistic attachment
to each sensory pleasure, illusory yet defined
each one appearing solid, concrete
while in actuality like a dream from mind
produced from empty-like space
contaminated matter is all I find
I must vomit out this poison and
grow virtuous roots, from seeds purified

To help nurture this new garden
of joyful, chaste, and pure delights
to replace increasing darkness
with pure increasing Dharma light
I visualize taking from all migrators,
their poison, like charcoal smoke
the delusions leave their bodies
arising unobstructed from all folk
all suffering, ill intent, all harmful desires
billow like black clouds from raging forest fires
flow, now fly, to my subtle mind, my heart
and are destroyed completely at the inner drop
annihilating my self-cherishing and my self-grasping
now I give pure, boundless love and compassion,
and I too receive this medicinal nectar
all beings enjoy happiness, everlasting
and I become a pure preceptor

Categories
Poetry

Poisoned

To feel too deeply
and to be unable to feel
are my two greatest sufferings

and to grasp at the feelings
as inherently existent
my greatest ignorance, their source

Categories
Poetry

Prisoner

I’m forced to walk where my feet go
I’m forced to wonder on what I know
I’m forced to move by winds of mind
I’m forced to suffer, for I’ve been unkind

Categories
Poetry

Echoes

In each life
   we walk away
       from one another
       thinking this life will be different
   we tried it again
and now
   we walk away
       from one another
       a different name
       a different place
       a different time

if the karma remains
                       unpurified

       again we’ll try
       again we’ll try

Categories
Poetry

Spring Renewal, an endless cycle

I can feel time slowly slipping through my fingers
frictionless to hold a second for a second moment
before falling through the ether into near nothingness
imprinted on continuum
a seed carried life to life
until conditions are right
to ripen the fruit on an unsuspecting self
   — I am sorry

   But how can it be helped?
I cannot squeeze this self into another
instead I chip away at delusions
from the inside out
destroying deluded doubt
and always at play
never a day spent away from refuge
and still I fight a deluge
of intense suffering
always threatening
to drown a silly me
how can it be
at war with three
extract My poisons, please!

Oh doctor of holy medicine,
I am a sick being
full of rotten feeling
still misunderstanding compassion
still giving with miserly ration
still confused at apparent separation
what can I do
I sit and contemplate emptiness
I feel like less and less
I can impress others
I merely offend
with no ability to comprehend
how meaningless it all is
without a pure intention
to worry about such brief condition
when I could be creating
a beautiful future feeling
and care for other instead
please, mend my broken head

Please, mend my broken heart
so that I may finally start
to love, to give happiness
and understand what comes does part
although appearing, no longer relating
to mistaken imputation
and while all expectations break
and friends do talk and fuck and fake
until the joy becomes real
and pain is permanently healed
may my pure virtue be revealed
through blessings be shared
and eventually may I care
only for other, selflessly
give me such pure appearance
so with happiness, I’ll dance
and, just perhaps,
give pure love chance after chance

Categories
Poetry

she didn’t wake up

she was looking for love
      in all the wrong places
lighting a cigarette
       outside the empty bar
     buys her own drinks
       what’s she waiting for?
                      Enlightenment?
she trots off into the night,
      dragging her smoke-ring-halo
    absent lamp light, fog rimmed
starlit trails
     observed by her full moon gaze –
   but does she exist without witness?
she was looking for love
      eyes wide shut
             snaked-eyed-luck
coffee breath and memories
  of last year’s shitty fuck
                   did I cum?
skating down an icy street
       pleasantly, legally high
                     wishing to die
            she escapes on by
narrowly avoiding being struck
               ignores the honks
            oversized jacket, wonky look
   she reaches inside for her last dart
it falls from shakey fingers, on ice, wet, breaking
           and if that isn’t the straw
         as she falls to her knees
       and pleads with the dream,
               — her own mind of course —
                                please release me
wake up
wake up